I would not mention a keylogger. Many people have never heard of them. Let it all be a mystery how you know anything.
I agree. She may not get the answers she is looking for from her WS and might want to advance to the use of a keylogger without his knowledge. Tipping him off to HOW she arrived at her information is only helpful to HIM, not HER. She needs the advantage of not showing all of her cards....poker.
I agree. She may not get the answers she is looking for from her WS and might want to advance to the use of a keylogger without his knowledge. Tipping him off to HOW she arrived at her information is only helpful to HIM, not HER. She needs the advantage of not showing all of her cards....poker.
Don't worry I have no intent to let him know all. He certainly didn't let me know everything! I will confront him but I think a more subtle but good technique is needed. I want to catch him in his lies and prevent the chance of him covering his tracks/making excuses.
Don't worry I have no intent to let him know all. He certainly didn't let me know everything! I will confront him but I think a more subtle but good technique is needed. I want to catch him in his lies and prevent the chance of him covering his tracks/making excuses.
Obviously you are being very smart and handling this wisely. It would be to easy to let anger override your good judgment. I suspect he will lie to you at first. If so, you have the edge. If he does not, he will only confirm what you know. Either way, it's sad that it has to come to this point in your marriage, but better to deal with it than let it slide by you or allow him to believe he can walk all over you.
I would not mention a keylogger. Many people have never heard of them. Let it all be a mystery how you know anything.
You have a good head. Sorry you are going through this. It stinks when you are in investigation mode. You already know quite a bit. Just be sure to keep things together. There have been some here on TAM who don't wait. Hope you do not drive him underground further.
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This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.”
I'll say it one more time and than shut up about it. A good way to catch and bust him, if he's guilty, is to set up a decoy to respond to his site.
That is how I caught an ex bf who chose live web cams over me.
I setup a fake profile and just IM'd him out of the blue. It worked. Within 3 days he wanted to meet. 3 days!!!! After chatting with a complete stranger.....
I would not confront just yet.. It will be much harder for you to get more proof.. He will delete everything and leave nothing behind.. Once he knows you are on to him he will hide it even better.
If you believe that you have enough to go on, then confront.. I would write everything down so you don't forget anything.. Try to be as calm as possible.
If you need to put a keylogger on his computer. There are some really good ones out there for good price.. One of them is desktopshark. It will record everything. key strokes, screen shots, passwords..
She knows the truth. She's just gauging as much of the full scope of the truth as she can before confronting. She knows that once she confronts he's going to cover his tracks and deny all that he can. This way she'll at least be a little bit ahead of him.
But you're absolutely right, she has enough evidence already.
Although it looks bad for C.L.'s husband and he may, and probably is, guilty as charged, I'd urge caution. I already mentioned I had someone register me for a bunch of X-rate sites. My friend's daughter signed his wife (her step mother) up on match dot com because they got a judgement against her (daughter) for a car loan they co-signed in her behalf. She also posted personal pictures of the step mom on a projectvoyeur dot com. There is still some possibility, although slim, its a setup. (and I'm a "glass is half empty" kind of guy)
I'll say it one more time and than shut up about it. A good way to catch and bust him, if he's guilty, is to set up a decoy to respond to his site.
That sounds well and good in theory, however, unless one actually hires someone "for bait" to pose as a potential date, then it is difficult or impossible to fool the WS that the request is legitimate. In my situation, I have seen ads from my WS looking for dates. He requests a picture. Sure, I could grab some random picture off of the internet, but that might put some innocent person in jeopardy. Can't use a "friend" because he knows them all. That leaves hiring a stranger to pose as a potential date.
Then the question becomes is it worth it? In my situation, his picture, his status of "separated" and the ads connection to his other email address leaves no doubt that it is his ad. The additional ads on Craigslist, that are from his location, the right age, just enough info to narrow him down, but no name, no pic (unless the "date" sends one first) may or may not be him. So, for me, it isn't worth it to hire someone to prove that the Craigslist ads are really him. I already have enough from other sites.
That sounds well and good in theory, however, unless one actually hires someone "for bait" to pose as a potential date, then it is difficult or impossible to fool the WS that the request is legitimate.
Anybody going to take this route needs to hire a professional. Around here, you can get it done for $200 - $500 for a committed meeting. An actual "dinner/drinks" meeting would run another $200 -$500. However, for probably less than $1,000 the target could be caught red handed.
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Re: Internet Cheating 
You have a good head. Sorry you are going through this. It stinks when you are in investigation mode. You already know quite a bit. Just be sure to keep things together. There have been some here on TAM who don't wait. Hope you do not drive him underground further.
