I want to know what makes a man cheat...give me your # one reason...it would help me so much to understand why my hubby had a 'sexting affair' with women who is the opposite of me...totally. He told me why, but I want to see if it jives
with what he said. Thanks so much, I appreciate your honesty...its rare these days!
I cheated because the intimacy in our marriage had failed to a point that I thought my options were either divorce or find a way to have my needs met outside the marriage long enough to let the kids get out of the house. It was a stupid decision, and it will end in divorce anyway. And rather than lasting the 6 to 8 years I would have needed, I lasted about 6 weeks before I realized there was no way it was going to work, and we decided to separate.
Now, the reasons WHY the intimacy are multiple and varied. As our marriage counselor said to me, the affair is often just the symptom of the problems that's visible. But it soon becomes THE problem in the marriage. Kind of like a heart attack is the results of poor diet, lifestyle choices, genetics... When it happens, it is THE thing that needs to be treated and prioritized. At that point, it's a little late to worry about how much cream you put in your coffee for the last 20 years, you know?
I cheated because the intimacy in our marriage had failed to a point that I thought my options were either divorce or find a way to have my needs met outside the marriage long enough to let the kids get out of the house. It was a stupid decision, and it will end in divorce anyway. And rather than lasting the 6 to 8 years I would have needed, I lasted about 6 weeks before I realized there was no way it was going to work, and we decided to separate.
Now, the reasons WHY the intimacy are multiple and varied. As our marriage counselor said to me, the affair is often just the symptom of the problems that's visible. But it soon becomes THE problem in the marriage. Kind of like a heart attack is the results of poor diet, lifestyle choices, genetics... When it happens, it is THE thing that needs to be treated and prioritized. At that point, it's a little late to worry about how much cream you put in your coffee for the last 20 years, you know?
There is no one theme fits all. Just to let you guys know in NY cheating is deamed as sexual intercourse with another person........I think all of this "He texted a girl a picture of his penis" or "He emails her all the time" etc etc
Except in the most serious and longterm of instances is not a affair!! A very poor decision yes a affair no!!. I'm sure others will totally disagree with that, but we are all entitled to our opinions.
I know for me playing on a computer with some cyber person would be much different then the actual act of meeting a girl and all of the others steps involved to actually having sex. One is a mouse click or two the other is a pretty serious string of events that lead up to a physical act.........at least most of the time. I really don't know how people say they are equal.
As far as why? For me it would be no other reason then something different aka something strange. Nothing my wife did or really anything she could do.
It's the old adage of steak dinner every night for 20 years sometimes you want asian? It's not even about someone being better it really just would be something different.
I think the primary reason with men is ego gratification. Others because they're denied intimacy at home or they may get it periodically which builds up resentment. Lack of feeling desired is another motivator.
I cheated because my wife had an affair. And it left me feeling worthless and totally, completely unattractive.
Several years later a woman friend made a play for me -though it turned out she thought I'd be a safe and good father for her children- but as it was turning into a PA it was as if I suddenly woke up and realised what I was doing. And stopped.
My wife and I grew apart and distant. We were still having a decent sex life, but the intimacy, love and thrill were gone.
A woman came into my life that knew what I needed and told me what I needed to hear.
For me it was loneliness, being wanted, sex, unhappiness. My husband and I just grew apart and things that were so easy before became so hard. I wanted to feel like I mattered again. I was weak
My affair almost went psychical, but i ended it before it could. That is not the person I am or who I wanted to be.
I think the primary reason with men is ego gratification.
I completely agree, adding that a loss of desire by the wife will leave a man wondering if he's still got it and will often seek to prove it. Sorta like the middle age crazies. Knowing you can attract women is more important than having sex. It where a human males DNA is similar to a male peacok's DNA. However actually having sex is the proof of the pudding. It's like my great grandmother Evangelina (Nanna) Roupell from New Iberia Louisiana use to tell my sisters " If you don want your beau out tom catin around, you keep makin him feel dat he da best ting next to booyee pie."
I want to know what makes a man cheat...give me your # one reason...it would help me so much to understand why my hubby had a 'sexting affair' with women who is the opposite of me...totally. He told me why, but I want to see if it jives
with what he said. Thanks so much, I appreciate your honesty...its rare these days!
Opportunity is what drives most men that have affairs. Simple as that.
There is no one theme fits all. Just to let you guys know in NY cheating is deamed as sexual intercourse with another person........I think all of this "He texted a girl a picture of his penis" or "He emails her all the time" etc etc
Except in the most serious and longterm of instances is not a affair!! A very poor decision yes a affair no!!. I'm sure others will totally disagree with that, but we are all entitled to our opinions.
I know for me playing on a computer with some cyber person would be much different then the actual act of meeting a girl and all of the others steps involved to actually having sex. One is a mouse click or two the other is a pretty serious string of events that lead up to a physical act.........at least most of the time. I really don't know how people say they are equal.
No one is saying cyber sex and physical sex are equal.
Just because they aren't equal, doesn't mean they aren't both profound betrayals of the marriage vows.
At least where I come from, my naked body is saved for my husband and is not shared, whether in real life, via photos, video, or in virtual form, with another man. The same obviously goes for him. The same goes for sex acts, whether conducted on the phone, over the computer, via words, photos, video, or in person.
So while there's a lot of stuff you don't have to worry about with cyber sex--STDs and pregnancy, to give just two examples--cyber sex with a third party for many people is contrary to marriage and most people would not understand or tolerate it.
Now, if you and your spouse are able to agree that one or both of you engaging in cyber sex is all right, and not a betrayal, well you are entitled to make that arrangement in advance. But most people do not feel that way, and you are the one who needs to understand that, not the other way around.
No one is saying cyber sex and physical sex are equal.
Just because they aren't equal, doesn't mean they aren't both profound betrayals of the marriage vows.
At least where I come from, my naked body is saved for my husband and is not shared, whether in real life, via photos, video, or in virtual form, with another man. The same obviously goes for him. The same goes for sex acts, whether conducted on the phone, over the computer, via words, photos, video, or in person.
So while there's a lot of stuff you don't have to worry about with cyber sex--STDs and pregnancy, to give just two examples--cyber sex with a third party for many people is contrary to marriage and most people would not understand or tolerate it.
Now, if you and your spouse are able to agree that one or both of you engaging in cyber sex is all right, and not a betrayal, well you are entitled to make that arrangement in advance. But most people do not feel that way, and you are the one who needs to understand that, not the other way around.
I agree its wrong, messed up, a betrayal, hurtful, flirty, etc I don't and wouldn't call it a affair. Posted via Mobile Device
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A man's insight needed here....please... 
However actually having sex is the proof of the pudding. It's like my great grandmother Evangelina (Nanna) Roupell from New Iberia Louisiana use to tell my sisters " If you don want your beau out tom catin around, you keep makin him feel dat he da best ting next to booyee pie."
