ladybird

Well, If i were you i would leave... He chose to have unprotected sex with someone and the consequence was getting an incurable STD! He has also put your life in danger (including his own) and your daughters..

You are so very lucky you have not gotten it.

I just read the rest of the posts.. It is ILLEGAL to knowingly transmit HIV to someone else. I am pretty sure he is not telling the woman he is having sex with that he has it. LEAVE HIM!!

Why do you stay, he is still cheating on you.. GET out now. You deserve so much better then this!!

TBT

This should tell you what you're probably in for if you stay.He continues to put you and others at risk,because it's doubtful he even tells OW about HIV,and that speaks volumes about his nature imo.

__________________
"Truth is like the sun,you can shut it out for a time,but it ain't going away"-Elvis

memorialday

Honeystly

Go, run.

memorialday

Good morning,
Replying to the comment "Did I confont him on this?" Yes I did confont him, I knew he was acting funny, as bad as it sounds I went threw his phone when he was asleep. I memorized his password. I found that he was talking to this girl quite a bit, and she was telling him how sexy he was (so they had to of been seeing each other). She was saying how come he is single being so sexy and so forth thats when he said that he had left me and that we were seperated. I took pictures of the text messages with my phone so that I would have proof when I confronted him. When I did confront him he immediately got on his phone and deleted everything(but I already had her number). He denied everything, then after a few minutes he said he didnt know who she was and that she had just texted him on accident(wrong number) and they began talking. He appologized and said that he loved me. I told him like an idiot if he ever does it again that I would leave, he says ok. I cried for a month and brought it up constanatly because I still am not over it. He acts like im just suppost to forgive and forget right then. I text the girl and told her the truth that he is married and she never responded. There is no telling if he is still talking to her or not, just the thought of it kills me, I really am ready to leave I just dont know how. All my family lives 7 hrs away and I have a good job here but I do not like the town I live in. All his family lives here, so staying in this town would not be a good option. I just dont know what to do! Just up and leave and take my daughter with me?
And I dont like having sex with him because he does not like to wear a condom, he thinks that if he just pulls out it will be ok. We got in an argument one day about it and he told me that I didnt care about my own life because I was drinking my life away (three years ago) but have been sober since. It seems to me that he knows im really sensitive, and he trys to make me feel guilty for my past mistakes. He told me the reason that he was talking to that other woman was because I didnt meet his emotional needs and Im not A WIFE TO HIM! Please help!

Jellybeans

I'm at a total loss for words with your thread.

You are saying for us to help you and asking what to do. The writing is on the wall. No one can help you if you can't help yourself.

You seem to have a problem with boundaries--you have none. You said:

He "acts" this way because you have showed him over & over again that you will take anything that he throws at you and still stay. He knows full well, based on your past behavior, that you are going to stick around no matter what he does.



Really?

There just are no words. I wish you luck. It seems you don't have any respect for yourself.

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Exposure Letter

Letter to OM/OW

PBear

I agree with JB. And think about your child, even if you have no respect for yourself. She already has one parent with HIV. You're doing your best to make it two.

C
Posted via Mobile Device

ScaredandUnsure

You should text the woman and tell her he has HIV, bet their conversations stop after that (unless he's told her already, which I highly doubt).

WHY would you risk HIV with the pull out method? One little tear in your vagina and you could end up with it, it's not the sperm that carries it, it's the semen, think pre cum. Omg, why?!

Obviously we can't make you leave him, but why on earth would you want to be with a man who has absolutely no care if he infects you with this disease? He doesn't care, and yes it is illegal to knowingly infect someone with HIV and not disclose it to the other party.

I tell ya, if my partner ever cheated, got the HIV virus, and gave it to me, I don't know what I'd do, but I'm sure it would be illegal and I would go to prison for it. I know it's not easy to make hard decisions, but you need to think about your daughter. And STOP having sex with this degenerate. Holy crap.

ETA: I hope you're getting tested every 3 months. While rare, it can often take a year or so for it to show up on a test. Please, for your life and your daughter, just leave this pile of rubbish and find a man who's deserving of your love and your loyalty.

donny64

You need to get to this other woman somehow and tell her he is HIV positive. Maybe you can save a life.

Then manybe you can save your own, so to speak. He caught HIV from having an affair. Brought it home to you. You stayed. Now he is showing signs of cheating again. You need to get out and start your life again, without HIV. He will not stop. And it will be extremely difficult for you to find someone else if you have HIV.

He gave you a life sentance of misery...if you let him. Had he caught this disease by some medical mishap or in some other way, I would think differently. But he cheated on you, caught it, and brought it home to you. You have not caught it. You dodged a bullet. Now stop standing in his line of fire like a target because sooner or later the bullet you can't dodge will smack you right between the eyes.

TBT

WTF You can't possibly be serious that you allow this to happen!?

__________________
"Truth is like the sun,you can shut it out for a time,but it ain't going away"-Elvis

memorialday

You are right I should leave. I guess I better get ready for lots of drama beacause thats what it is going to be, but atleast I will be getting out with my life. I have to save money and figure out where my daughter and I will live. Just the thought of being on my own after 10 years is quite scary, but God will get me threw this, obviously God saved me from this horrific disease for some reason. Thanks to all!

ScaredandUnsure

You can do it! You'll be so much better off too, and so will your daughter. Do you have any family that could help you out?

memorialday

my mother can help me out, she lives 7 hrs away. She really dislikes my husband, amd when I told her of the situation (him having hiv) she was very supportive and said she didnt want to tell me what to do in my marriage but she thinks I should leave. He found out that I told her he was Hiv positive and put a big guilt trip on me that it was disloyal and disrespectful to tell my mother marital business. He made me feel so guilty for talking to my mother about it. As of the ow she has turned her phone off or changed numbers so I cant tell her about it. Thanks again

that_girl

I would divorce him. Sorry...I'm not taking that risk at all. And eww...cheating isn't really forgivable for me anyway.

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Lon

So he expects you to suffer through everything alone with no support (since he obviously has not been there to support you, and much worse inflicted a lot of damage intentionally).?

He has absolutely no moral high ground to stand on, and no right to lecture you about who you can and can't talk to - you have the right to be truthful with anyone who you think will help you overcome this ordeal, and for a spouse to demand otherwise is verging on abuse.

Your life will be SO MUCH BETTER without his toxicity in it - you will come to recognize that soon enough if you try, but even facing the unknown alone HAS to be 1000x better than what you are stuck with now.