My cheating husband has HIV from his infidelity
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 05-28-2012, 12:32 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Angry My cheating husband has HIV from his infidelity

Hello,
About 2 years ago my husband came home and said he needed to talk. He said that he had cheated on me a year before and that he just found out that he is HIV positive. Since then I have been tested regularly and I am HIV negative. Thank God I did not get HIV from him. We are still together but I have my doubts as to if I should still stay with him. He dosent like to talk about his disease and kind of acts like it dosent even bother him. He is 13 years older than me andwe have been together for 10 years and married for 7. We have a 8 year old together and obviously we can not have anymore kids together because of his infidelity. I feel alot of unforgiveness and resentment towards him for what he has done. What do I DO?
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Old 05-28-2012, 12:40 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Divorce...You don't deserve to live a life like that,divorce him and start a new and better chapter in your life...

Good Luck
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Old 05-28-2012, 12:40 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I wouldn't stay. He chose to cheat, not you. Why should you accept living in the prison he chose to lock himself in?
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Old 05-28-2012, 12:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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List the reasons besides your daughter why you're staying.
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Old 05-28-2012, 12:46 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: My cheating husband has HIV from his infidelity

Yeah, what steps have you taken since his infidelity to reconcile? Is he truly remorseful? The fact he has HIV alone should not be the determining factor here.
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Old 05-28-2012, 12:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by memorialday View Post
What do I DO?
Divorce.
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Old 05-28-2012, 12:51 PM   #7 (permalink)
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...He dosent like to talk about his disease and kind of acts like it dosent even bother him.
Having to take a huge amount of costly meds everyday for the rest of my life would bother me. But I guess I'd get used to it.

He is on anti-retroviral drugs right?
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Old 05-28-2012, 12:55 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I still love him, but love only goes so far when there is all of that resentment. He was there for me when I had a very bad drinking problem, and I feel like if I leave him I would never forgive myself for being that self-ish. He made a mistake that almost cost me my life! I am extremely mad about that, and I also look at my daughters life is at risk just living in the same house, using the same restroom etc. I am so confused! He will not go to marriage counseling or talk to a pastor because he dosent want anyone to know he is HIV postitve.
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Old 05-28-2012, 12:55 PM   #9 (permalink)
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At minimum do not have unprotected sex ever with him.

If it were me, I would not stay with him .
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Better still, dont exchange any bodily fluids with him or get any.

How about your 8 year old daughther? She could get some of his fliuds (saliva, blood, etc) and get infected. Her immune system is still developing. Is it strong enough to protect her?

Protect your daughter and hope she doesnt get infected.
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Old 05-28-2012, 12:57 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I also look at my daughters life is at risk just living in the same house, using the same restroom etc.

This.
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Old 05-28-2012, 12:58 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Yes he takes about 7 different meds everyday, and they make him sick if he dosent eat when taking them. They dont cost him anything, the state sends them in the mail to him once a month, and he goes to the doctor every 3 months.
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Old 05-28-2012, 01:02 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I left my cheating husband. I was regularly STD tested as well. Luckily I don't have to worry anymore.

Divorce him!
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Old 05-28-2012, 01:18 PM   #13 (permalink)
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FYI

HIV is transmitted by 4 body fluids

blood, vaginal fluid, semen, and breast
Milk. (and other body fluids containing
Blood)

Salvia doesn't transmit HIV or by using the same restroom. Please refer to the CDC for HIV facts.

You should go to counseling by yourself if your husband wont go with you. He may change his mind if you start the process.

Good luck !
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Old 05-28-2012, 01:41 PM   #14 (permalink)
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From cdc.gov website, under the question "How well does HIV survive outside the body?":
Quote:
HIV is found in varying concentrations or amounts in blood, semen, vaginal fluid, breast milk, saliva, and tears.

...drying of HIV-infected human blood or other body fluids reduces the theoretical risk of environmental transmission to that which has been observed–essentially zero.
According to CDC, HIV is found in saliva. And if the body fluids outside the body is dried up, the theoretical risk of transmission is zero.


Similarly, consider this question "Can I get HIV from oral sex?", the answer is "yes".
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Old 05-28-2012, 01:51 PM   #15 (permalink)
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And the answer to the question is he truly remorseful? o I dont believe he is, I caught him talking to another woman on the phone a month ago, he was telling her that we were seperated and that he wanted to meet up with her. I had no idea that we were even thinking about getting seperated. I hope that answers the question, IS HE REMORSEFUL!
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