Everything is great....why do I feel so crappy??

beachbabe · 05-29-2012, 07:07 PM

Well, a quick update....My WH had been amazing...seriously I wasn't expecting this at all. I feel that he does want to be with me...He even gave up Facebook, which is really something! As well as wrote the NO CONTACT LETTER, talked to my parents, etc.
BUT why do I feel so conflicted??? WHY can't I snap out of this funk...I think my ego (if women can have them...) has really taken a beating...and I don't know when I will feel confident again??? I run, I look after myself but I still feel weak inside...
How do we heal from this betrayal of trust??

iheartlife · 05-29-2012, 07:11 PM

Part of the funk is that you've fought strong and hard and won him back. Well, what do you think of your "prize?"

beachbabe · 05-29-2012, 07:16 PM

Your right...maybe half the shock is that you DID win the fight of your life and you just gotta take time for it to sink in. As far as my prize goes...I can't believe that he chose me after I was so mean to him for years....it was a wake up call for both of us.

iheartlife · 05-29-2012, 07:37 PM

I went to IC after both DDs. Helped me tremendously. Have you done this?
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beachbabe · 05-30-2012, 10:50 AM

No...not sure what IC is...marriage counselling? We've made an appointment for one, but no scheduled one yet.
Funny how well my WH is doing soooo well. This has been quite an eye opener for him...its been a week and a half and he's still trying hard each day...and very concerned about me.

Almostrecovered · 05-30-2012, 10:52 AM

IC- individual counseling
MC- marriage counseling

highwood · 05-30-2012, 11:00 AM

I think when you suffer a trauma that it does take time to "get over it". Plus I still think that even if you want to stay in your marriage, etc. that doubts will always occur..I know for myself that yes I want to stay married but at times I get these doubts that come in primarily with me it tends to be paranoia..is he still doing something behind my back, am I being played a fool, etc. etc.

Plus when someone hurts you it is easy to think holy smokes...why am I with this person that caused me so much pain!

With H's EA this has been the most emotional roller coaster I have gone thru in my life to date.

Thorburn · 05-30-2012, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by highwood

I think when you suffer a trauma that it does take time to "get over it". Plus I still think that even if you want to stay in your marriage, etc. that doubts will always occur..I know for myself that yes I want to stay married but at times I get these doubts that come in primarily with me it tends to be paranoia..is he still doing something behind my back, am I being played a fool, etc. etc.

Plus when someone hurts you it is easy to think holy smokes...why am I with this person that caused me so much pain!

With H's EA this has been the most emotional roller coaster I have gone thru in my life to date.

Yea I am there - holy smokes what the hel* did my wife do? That has been my thoughts over the past several days.

MattMatt · 05-30-2012, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beachbabe

Well, a quick update....My WH had been amazing...seriously I wasn't expecting this at all. I feel that he does want to be with me...He even gave up Facebook, which is really something! As well as wrote the NO CONTACT LETTER, talked to my parents, etc.
BUT why do I feel so conflicted??? WHY can't I snap out of this funk...I think my ego (if women can have them...) has really taken a beating...and I don't know when I will feel confident again??? I run, I look after myself but I still feel weak inside...
How do we heal from this betrayal of trust??

Everyone has an ego. It is part of us, male or female.

It will take time.