I dont know, she is posting here soonish, its a long ass story man. We talked about everything, she told me what all happend, everything, lurid details I never wanted to hear but it was like a train wreck. the jist of her cheating on me was cause of feeling unwanted by me. She felt our sex life was non existant, that there was no romance, and she tried talking to me about it, but didn't make me realize how bad she was feeling, I just swept it under the rug thinking I was just to stressed, over worked and stretched to the max.
I was being light hearted. Rug sweeping is not good but don't allow her to blame you for her bad choices. it's going to hurt hearing all the details but it might help too with dealing and coming together. Posted via Mobile Device
Yeah, ingalls, I know its not my fault, I am not to blame for her letting this guy seduce her, I'm not that ignorant or stupid. Though i feel in the long run , If i can get over the way im feeling now, begin to feel she is being honest with me its going to make our life that much stronger. I will do everything in my power to never ever let my wife feel unwanted, again
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Yeah, ingalls, I know its not my fault, I am not to blame for her letting this guy seduce her, I'm not that ignorant or stupid. Though i feel in the long run , If i can get over the way im feeling now, begin to feel she is being honest with me its going to make our life that much stronger. I will do everything in my power to never ever let my wife feel unwanted, again
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Not to be rude, but I think you're already a bit confused.
She made a very clear and conscious choice when she decided to betray her marital vows and sleep with another man. She didn't "let" anyone do anything. She chose, entirely on her own, to accept the advances of another man and betray her spouse (you) with said man.
You're painting her as a victim. She is not.
EDIT: I want to add that I'm not trying to egg you on or offend you. But your posts seem to make light of the fact that your wife chose and wanted to have this affair. No one forced her into anything, from my understanding.
I am assuming that you're glossing over this (in other words, sweeping it under the rug) because it is easier for you to cope with the affair by blaming someone else (her affair partner) rather than your unfaithful wife. I fear that you're setting yourself up for some serious emotional turmoil in the future if you don't acknowledge and deal with her responsibility for the affair during your recovery.
Not to be rude, but I think you're already a bit confused.
She made a very clear and conscious choice when she decided to betray her marital vows and sleep with another man. She didn't "let" anyone do anything. She chose, entirely on her own, to accept the advances of another man and betray her spouse (you) with said man.
You're painting her as a victim. She is not.
You seem to be on the rug sweep path here, Cornfield! The first task you have in beginning the R process is to see REAL remorse in your wife. Cheating is all on her. Nothing made her cheat. If she is blaming her actions on you or some deficiency on your part, nip that in the bud immediately. Start reading this forum in greater detail. Lots of good advise here. Don't be too quick to forgive forget and take blame.
Yeah, ingalls, I know its not my fault, I am not to blame for her letting this guy seduce her, I'm not that ignorant or stupid. Though i feel in the long run , If i can get over the way im feeling now, begin to feel she is being honest with me its going to make our life that much stronger. I will do everything in my power to never ever let my wife feel unwanted, again
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Unfortunately for you, there are women who do feel wanted by their husbands and, yet, they still cheat.
She's giving you an excuse, or shifting the blame to you.
Simply put, I think she needs to develop better morals.
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