I talked to my husband when he got home from work at 7:00 this morning. I was waiting in the driveway and expecting him to ignore me or yell at me when he saw me, but he just said "Hi," and invited me in when I told him I wanted to talk. He looks so different. Lost a lot of weight, and he really didn't have the extra weight to lose. I can see what my friend meant when she said his eyes are dead. What have I done?
Anyway, I told him everything. How I was being selfish and stupid, and that he did nothing wrong. That he was a great husband, and that I really do love him. I told him that AP is nothing compared to him, etc. It was like my husband had a wall around him during the first portion of the conversation. He just kept saying "That's nice," and "okay," and "I really need to get some sleep now."
I apologized, and asked him if he would like to go to sleep, and I would come back and talk later, and he said "No. Go on." So, I just spilled everything.
After about an hour of me talking, and him listening -- he didn't interrupt me once. He started talking and joking about completely different things. He talked about work, my BF, the dogs, etc. God I miss talking to him. I told him I knew about why he gave me our old incontinent dog, and he just smiled. Then he asked for her back. He said he would take better care of her than I would, and that she had done what he wanted her to do.
Then he asked me why I was telling him all this, and I told him it was because I realize how much I hurt him, and that I wanted to try to make it a little better if I could. He seemed kind of annoyed by that a little. Then I told him, that I really do love him and if he could find it in his heart to give me another chance I would spend my life making this up to him.
He said our relationship was ruined. It was over. We couldn't save it. It had the smell of my AP all over it. But, he thought we could start from scratch and try to build a new relationship and see where it goes from there. We may end up friends, married again, or we may end up going our separate ways. He just wants to take it slow. We are going out on a date tomorrow night.