I suggest that, if your wife IS cheating, she no longer deserves fair. She GAVE UP FAIR when she decided to cheat, lie, sneak, and steal from your family to feed her affair. For every encounter with her lover, she lost X% of her 'fair' division of assets.
Tunera, in an ideal world this would be the case. Alas, thanks to no-fault divorce she'll most likely get more than she's entitled to. Even in fault states like Texas, you have to wait a year to get on the court's docket and then pay added attorney's fee. For me, it was worth settling just to be done with her.
I understand, count, but I was talking about his attitude, not the actual motions made. His attitude is that she's the woman he loves and therefore, he can't hurt her. Most likely that attitude is WHY she cheated.
I understand, count, but I was talking about his attitude, not the actual motions made. His attitude is that she's the woman he loves and therefore, he can't hurt her. Most likely that attitude is WHY she cheated.
He needs to change that attitude quick or he will get hosed in court.
So you had to go back home and pretend everything is ok. That truly sucks.
Yes, however I've been working alot and nnot seeing her as much. I drive by the OM's house at least twice a day to see if she's there, so far I haven't seen her car in the driveway. But that means nothing, he could be picking her up from work for all I know. It's very hard beingin the same room as her.
Yes, however I've been working alot and nnot seeing her as much. I drive by the OM's house at least twice a day to see if she's there, so far I haven't seen her car in the driveway. But that means nothing, he could be picking her up from work for all I know. It's very hard beingin the same room as her.
What I've found from personal experience is that if two people want to see each other, they will. No matter how hard you try, you can not monitor another person 24/7 with out a security bracelet, and even then, they can meet someplace that flies under your radar, like in your own home.
His attitude is that she's the woman he loves and therefore, he can't hurt her. Most likely that attitude is WHY she cheated.
I think you're right. He probably has placed her on a pedestal for years and thus she looks down on him as though he was an insect and unworthy of her. She's a spoiled princess.
No matter how hard you try, you can not monitor another person 24/7 with out a security bracelet, and even then, they can meet someplace that flies under your radar, like in your own home.
Need a facebook posting shock collar, iphone texting siren, and burner phone detection alarm for the win !!
What I've found from personal experience is that if two people want to see each other, they will. No matter how hard you try, you can not monitor another person 24/7 with out a security bracelet, and even then, they can meet someplace that flies under your radar, like in your own home.
This is true. However, there's no need to make it easier for them. Make them spend the effort to keep it underground because sooner or later they slip up.
What I've found from personal experience is that if two people want to see each other, they will. No matter how hard you try, you can not monitor another person 24/7 with out a security bracelet, and even then, they can meet someplace that flies under your radar, like in your own home.
Well, verification, from where I sit, isn't about keeping affair partners apart. It might have some of that effect, but that isn't the point. The U.S. is a free country. So two people want to be together--monitoring them doesn't prevent this. (And just to be clear, right now the OP isn't doing anything to directly intervene in the affair until he can file for D.)
When the love of your life tells you to your face, I want to reconcile--and I'll gladly attend MC, just like the OP's spouse--well, in the normal world, outside of Affair World, you would take that entirely at face value. Some would have gone straight to D. But can you understand someone who wouldn't? It would hurt so much that they had betrayed you, but if you love your spouse so much, you might find yourself welcoming the opportunity to enter counseling.
This thread is a textbook case for verification. His wife didn't seem to be "into" reconciling. Some people might be strong enough to divorce over that. But most people aren't when they have children and many years invested. What verification does in these cases, and it did in this one, is to level the playing field against an inveterate liar. She was a coward. She was NEVER going to ask for a divorce from the OP. Or if she was, it was on her own very leisurely timetable. When you look up "cake eater" in the dictionary, there's her picture front and center.
wrsteele1's case is almost the same (except the time frame was much shorter, which might affect that outcome). Wife "ends" it with the AP, goes to MC, tries to work on the marriage, but heart isn't in it. But is never going to ask for a divorce--she wants ALL of that blame to fall on the loyal spouse for breaking up the home and hurting the children. They also have other needs met, particularly a home and financial security. Cheaters are profoundly selfish that way--but they know they have to hide it. To the bitter end, they are going to blame YOU to everyone they meet for ending the marriage. Some people are strong enough not to care--but many people aren't and who are we to judge them for that!
Of course, some would argue that you just D right away upon discovery of an affair. Maybe that's the OP's situation--or maybe his wife just deserves the best actress Oscar at this year's WS awards. Once again, he had the nerve to find out the truth, when far too many BSs are terrified to try to do that.
What I've found from personal experience is that if two people want to see each other, they will. No matter how hard you try, you can not monitor another person 24/7 with out a security bracelet, and even then, they can meet someplace that flies under your radar, like in your own home.
399Likes
Re: Faking remorse 
