I'll be about a 4 hour drive away from home and I'm gone for two nights. I refuse to make my wife stay with me, if she doesn't want me then, I am willing to let her go.
Better yet, head out to golf, then double back. Get a hotel room and find out "who's been sleeping in my bed?" I think you need to see her in action to get the full effect. Maybe they're heading out to the local swinger's club tonight.
ETA: Golf's really that important at a time like this? Pull your head out.
She never uses the home computer, she uses her work computer. Her cell phone has no indication of her still in contact with OM. He is single and her former colleague, they haven't worked together in over a year. Nothing on her email account that I can find. I don't know if my marriage can be saved, or if it's even worth the effort.
No. I don't think so.
She is obviously very experienced. Typically if she has nothing on home computer or cell phone, they are experienced enough to use burn phones and own another computer they use to email each other.
A private detective is the best way to catch a cheater. They aren't cheap though.
I already filed for Divorce and I am still finding out about secret accounts and credit cards and cash stashed.
If it is any comfort. I had no clue either. I totally trusted the guy.
I feel like a moron. The pain is tremendous, the triggers are everywhere. The humiliation makes my cheeks burn sometimes when I think of how he lied while looking me straight in the eyes and so many times, too.
I Know im going to get blasted for this but i really do struggle with the NC letter thing!
Even if a NC letter is written and sent then this is still no guarantee that the A isnt still going on!
Picture the scene WS txts AP - "He's making me send you a NC letter. Take no notice of it. i'm just doing it to get him off my back"
I just dont see how a NC letter is proof that the A is over!
I agree. Nothing can stop the affair, if the two want to continue.
A no contact letter won't do it, and neither will exposure.
It most cases it will simply make them craftier.
The exposure is for the BS sake. A lot of cheaters present themselves as nice people and when outed in an affair start rewriting history to turn the BS into the Ogre.
My wife could not fake remorse, just like she could not fake being in an A, just like I know when she is into me during sex, etc. I know when she is lying. That is me and my situation I know her fairly well.
Remorse is seen by actions and words. Your wife is not showing remorse like the others have said.
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This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.”
Three years of lie, deceit and banging on your back, still you want to be with her, REALLY?
I'm not sure I even want to stay married to her. About 5 years ago we separated for 2 months, not because of cheating. We have had issues in the marriage but always worked through them, I just don't think I've got that much fight left in me. I just don't want to be taken to the cleaners and if it gets nasty it could cost me alot. Posted via Mobile Device
I'm not sure I even want to stay married to her. About 5 years ago we separated for 2 months, not because of cheating. We have had issues in the marriage but always worked through them, I just don't think I've got that much fight left in me. I just don't want to be taken to the cleaners and if it gets nasty it could cost me alot. Posted via Mobile Device
I'm not sure I even want to stay married to her. About 5 years ago we separated for 2 months, not because of cheating. We have had issues in the marriage but always worked through them, I just don't think I've got that much fight left in me. I just don't want to be taken to the cleaners and if it gets nasty it could cost me alot. Posted via Mobile Device
Keep in mind, worse case scenario, you could lose no more than half of your net assets. That could be a lot or a little, depending on what you own. Anything that wasn't a marital asset doesn't count, you keep that. Depending on her age and ability to find employment you may or may not have to pay spousal support. The person who keeps the marital house "for the children" (assuming minor children are involved) only gets to ride that train for a specific period of time - not forever. Then the property gets sold and the net proceeds split.
And what's more important to you, the money, or being free?
what you are still not seeing, is that those problems was because of the cheating. and yeah all marriages have problems, but maybe you was reacting to her giving you some bad vibes for some reason. short tempered, cool toward you, you see what I mean ?? She say 3 yrs, but could it have really been 5? That may have really been when it was starting. you just never got the ILYBINILWY speech. And now if she say 5 instead, you would automatically put two an two together. Look, just take this as a opportunity to trade up from a lemon to a peach. Her long held contempt is just too much for her to hide at how she made a complete fool out of you, so she is not even trying So give her what she needs, and let her live how hard it is for a middle age cheating sk**k to find someone to grow old with. Two young adult kids, lil $$ in the bank, "even after", with a DAMN good reason to dump a morally bankrupt Sl*t, hell, we could call you Forbes. Not the Donald and his Ga. peach. We all saw how long that lasted. About as long as it took for her to get caught with the lifeguard under the lifeguard stand on the beach at night. But you get my drift. YOU if you want, will be a REAL catch for some good woman looking for a good man. So yeah, its not worth it, to continue live with someone who holds so little respect for herself, you, your children, and your marriage. And to be honest. You don't really sound completely lost. Sadden maybe, also a little relieved. So take the gift she gave you and give her walking papers.
She never uses the home computer, she uses her work computer. Her cell phone has no indication of her still in contact with OM. He is single and her former colleague, they haven't worked together in over a year. Nothing on her email account that I can find. I don't know if my marriage can be saved, or if it's even worth the effort.
It's never worth the effort and if you have no kids together just cut the cord and move on. I'm a cheater and I'm the 1st to say it's never worth it to get back with a cheater, NEVER. The time and energy it takes a toll.
Things can be happy and great but looking back my wife is not the same person she used to be before it. She's changed a little bit but it's noticeable and it's sad because I'm the cause of it. She could have moved on and met another who could have given her 100% like she gave to me and lived a way, way, way happier life.
It can still be great but it could be even better than great without the cheater. But that's just me jabbering only.
It's never worth the effort and if you have no kids together just cut the cord and move on. I'm a cheater and I'm the 1st to say it's never worth it to get back with a cheater, NEVER. The time and energy it takes a toll.
Things can be happy and great but looking back my wife is not the same person she used to be before it. She's changed a little bit but it's noticeable and it's sad because I'm the cause of it. She could have moved on and met another who could have given her 100% like she gave to me and lived a way, way, way happier life.
It can still be great but it could be even better than great without the cheater. But that's just me jabbering only.
Has your wife told you this? If she hasn't ask her and get back to us with her version. That should really be interesting.
I'm not keeping it quiet for my wife'ss sake, I'm doing for my children. They are very closse to their mother and she is and always has been a excellent parent. I think I'm just very numb at this point.
Really? Close to them in what way? "Oh, I know! I'll cheat on my children's father! That's a really cool idea!"
Your wife's idea of "close" and "excellent parent" doesn't seem to be in any dictionary I have seen, yet...
You have to be proactive, if you leave it up to her you'll be losing another 3 years of your life with false R.
Since she is refusing to name the OM, it is likely he is one of your close friends/relatives. Are you suspicious of anyone? Any of them happy that you'll be golfing?
And the reasons you know it is 'only' three years and 'just' the one lover is because....? Oh, yeah! She told you, didn't she?
But if she can live the live of posing as your faithful spouse for three years (or more) then she can lie about length of the affair, number of lovers, etc.
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Re: Faking remorse 
