My WW appears to be very sorry for her 3 year A, but I can't help but think it's all just a big act. How hard/easy would it be for a WS to fake being remorseful? I figure not that hard since they all have mastered the art of lying. How do I know she's truly sorry? I haven't posted my whole story yet because it's still unfolding. She admitted that she had been having an A for the past 3 years but has claimed NC since March. I talked to her the other day about the NC letter I read about on this site and she refuses to write or send one to the OM. I have been keeping a close eye on her but I'm not sure she has completely cut ties with the OM, she won't tell me much about him. Should I push her for more Info?
No NC letter is a deal breaker. If she cannot even do that, she is not faking it, she just does not have any remorse. Judge her by her actions, not words. Words are easy.
Well obviously she is talented enough to hide a 3 year affair, I don't see her having a problem faking a remorse.
Since she is refusing to send a NC letter, why exactly are you still with her? She already gave you an answer as to what she thinks of a marriage with you.
Go through her phone bill, emails, facebook to find out who the OM is and notify his wife/gf, family, friends and coworkers.
Our own marriage counselor (well-versed about infidelity in marriage) insisted on an NC letter. It is outrageous for a WS to refuse to do one and I wouldn't reconcile with a spouse who took that position.
My WW appears to be very sorry for her 3 year A, but I can't help but think it's all just a big act. How hard/easy would it be for a WS to fake being remorseful? I figure not that hard since they all have mastered the art of lying. How do I know she's truly sorry? I haven't posted my whole story yet because it's still unfolding. She admitted that she had been having an A for the past 3 years but has claimed NC since March. I talked to her the other day about the NC letter I read about on this site and she refuses to write or send one to the OM. I have been keeping a close eye on her but I'm not sure she has completely cut ties with the OM, she won't tell me much about him. Should I push her for more Info?
Remember to judge her by her actions, not her words. If she's refusing the NC letter, she's spelling things out for you loud and clear. Also, the tale that the A ended long before the WS is caught is a common one and usually false.
How did you first found out about the affair? Just the word of her mouth or have you confirmed anything?
How I found out is, a few months ago she was out shopping with her sister. Her sister called to say she left one of her shopping bags in my wifes car but my wife wasn't home yet. A few hours pass and her cell phone goes right to voicemail. She finally comes home all smiles and I say how was your day, she says great. I said where have you been? She says I've been shopping and then my sister and I went out for dinner. I said really she says yes. I said that's funny cause your sister called 4 hours ago and wasn't with you. She went white as a sheet and started crying. She blurted out everything, I was floored. I didn't suspect a thing. I should mention we work didn't hours and I travel for work at least once a month so It was pretty easy for her to carry on the long term affair.
How I found out is, a few months ago she was out shopping with her sister. Her sister called to say she left one of her shopping bags in my wifes car but my wife wasn't home yet. A few hours pass and her cell phone goes right to voicemail. She finally comes home all smiles and I say how was your day, she says great. I said where have you been? She says I've been shopping and then my sister and I went out for dinner. I said really she says yes. I said that's funny cause your sister called 4 hours ago and wasn't with you. She went white as a sheet and started crying. She blurted out everything, I was floored. I didn't suspect a thing. I should mention we work didn't hours and I travel for work at least once a month so It was pretty easy for her to carry on the long term affair.
That is all you needed to hear. I don't see how you will ever be able to trust her since she was able to lie straight into your face like it was nothing.
Please do yourself a favor and start respecting yourself. Pack her stuff in garbage bags and put them on the front lawn for her to pick up. Change the locks as well and go dark on her.
A cheating wife who was truly remorseful would move heaven and earth for her betrayed husband to prove her seriousness about reconciling. Her refusal to send the NC speaks volumes as to the seriousness of her desire to reconcile. As Good Dog said, judge her actions and not her words.
Check her mails and stuff. She might be hiding multiple affairs. Have you exposed the OM to his wife/SO?
Also ages, length of marriage, OM(colleague, friend, stranger on internet?)?
She never uses the home computer, she uses her work computer. Her cell phone has no indication of her still in contact with OM. He is single and her former colleague, they haven't worked together in over a year. Nothing on her email account that I can find. I don't know if my marriage can be saved, or if it's even worth the effort.
no she did not blurt out everything !! it will probably be someone you are friends with. Thats why she is refusing to tell who. May I ask, how old are you ?? Can you look in the mirrow and see the same man that was there a week ago. No, for that man had selfrespect, and your wife and POSOM made sure this one don't. You do know how to get it back right ?? By ridding yourself of the ***** that hold so much contempt for you, that she went and F**Ked all day with you in town. Then came home still leaking to lie in your face and kiss you on the cheek, while looking you dead in the eye. Damn, I bet the CIA could really use her. Well if you are going to keep her, you can at least take pride in the fact, that you have a stone coldhearted woman.
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Faking remorse 
