Wow. I'm truthful and tell how I am and have truly been feeling and I just get criticized and called a liar. Reading the replies just makes me feel even worse than I already feel. I wasn't looking for sympathy, but dang.
Look. You're posting on a forum where damned-near everyone responding to you has been cheated on or betrayed. Of course we wouldn't be "nice" to you. You betrayed your husband. We are literally taking to a cheater. Some forum posters will get very angry/violent triggers from reading stories like yours. Don't take it personally - some of us (myself included, I don't doubt) are projecting some of our resentment at you. That doesn't mean our advice is bad - but we won't sugar-coat the medicine either.
Now, the reason no-one belives you are being completely truthful is because, from all of our experiences, cheating spouses are never truthful. They will deliberately withhold information or lie until they are faced with undeniable facts, in which case they fold and admit that they lied. There's a topic on this very subject right on the first page of this forum.
Again, don't take it personally. We don't believe you... because we don't believe you.
If you want to be believed, look at your husband - your partner, and give him something to be proud of - courage and honesty. Be brave, and tell him every single thing you have not told him. At this point, the cat is out of the bag. Your marriage is in jeopardy. If you lie and withhold information, you will eventually be caught. And every time you are caught, you re-set the marriage back to square-one. It's better to come clean now and tell him all of your infidelity, rather than being scared and hiding stuff from him - only for him to find out later and really getting mad.
After I came back to my sister's house I confronted my lover. I asked him what would possess him to text me such an explicit text at 4am when he knew I was with my husband. He said he didn't know what he was thinking and that he was sorry. He said he was drunk. I was disgusted. I wanted to punch him. I told him my marriage may be over. I said it was just as much my fault because I forgot to delete my yahoo IMs but I should of never been with you in the first place. He apologized again. He said he knew there was nothing he could do to make it up to me. I told him we were over because if my husband catches me cheating again he will take my son and leave. I told him I loved my son and my husband more than I cared about him. He apologized but then he asked if I wanted to go back to his house.
This whole section seems really odd.You break no contact for what you say is to end the affair,yet it seems like you confront him in anger because what he did f*cked up your affair.Basically he couldn't make it up to you,because he screwed up too bad.Then you told him in a sense,that it was only over because you couldn't risk getting caught again.
IDK,this is just my opinion,but I would find this exchange unsettling if I were viewing it as your H.
Why, when I read this, do I get the image of two HS kids playing on the computer and making it up as they go? ....."Throw myself under a train?" "Cutting"? Dominatrix? IMO, this thread is total horse****!
I don't think they are trolling . Where do you think the people who work in the adult industry come from? These are people that have a life very different from what normal people usually have. I know a couple of webcam girls that do it with the full support of the spouse/bf and have a normal life outside of it. These people don't live in vacuum. And the dominatrix part isn't the focus of the story. Her being a dominatrix has nothing to do with the infidelity. She met the man at a club.
By calling out people who turned to the forum for help trolls isn't doing the forum any favor. This even happened in the Juicer's thread. If you think someone is a troll, I think it is better to stop responding to the thread. The negative outweigh the positives by a large margin.
I don't know if both of you belong to a chruch or not. But ours helped us with my wife's affair and was free. We saw them every week for two months. We also could afford MC so we did that also.
The MC we are down to once every three months. And it does help to have some one else guide you through the process. Or like our MC said what happens people try to mash thing back together again without really working on the real issues.
One thing MC had us do was sex was off the table until we fixed communitation first, then intimancy then sex. It sounds like you guys are trying to mash them back together and it might fall apart again
You set yourself up for failure jumping to the end and skipping the middle
Can you get the student loan payments put on hold for a while because of finacial problems. This can often be done. Give them a call and find out.
How much does she make with the dominatrix stuff? Can she find a job doing anything that is not degrading? The problem with the dominatrix stuff is that it seems to have fed her need for attention and at the same time made her feel badly about herself. It's not healthy for her.
elegirl, she has been trying for over a year to find a nursing job, she jsut doesn't have the experience to work in a hospital and she gets fired from nursing homes due to her Generalized Anxiety/panic disorder and the bipolar(mainly uni polar) she is suffering from.
She makes 200 bucks an hour for a full session, as has been said no sex, no bjs. I should of known that it would effect her negativly and told her no, I just didn't know, or didn't want to be honest with my self or think about what she might actually have to do.
I think she is so very close to a nursing job right now this bdsm gig is going out the ****ing window as soon as humanly possible.
also, we don't belong to a church, shes a wiccan and I'm not that big into religion. Also our student loans can't be fore bared anymore, im already on interst only payments for the next 2 years. She also didn't mention our son because she is taking care of him during the days
I'm a cheating piece of sh!@ wh*re. Now I understand why they stoned adulterous women.
This. I'm = I AM (present tense) as opposed to I WAS (past tense).
If you can't let go of the label, reform, see the error of your ways, promise your BS that you will never, ever do that again and make every effort to become the "new" loyal and loving spouse then your marital problems and the temptation to cheat again will never go away.
Once you have accepted the "I AM" label, there is nothing stopping from you repeating past behavior. However, as with any addiction, if you accept the "reformed" or otherwise "past tense" the label, there is a strong indication that you have learned from your mistake. I'm not seeing that here.
I don't think they are trolling . Where do you think the people who work in the adult industry come from? These are people that have a life very different from what normal people usually have. I know a couple of webcam girls that do it with the full support of the spouse/bf and have a normal life outside of it. These people don't live in vacuum. And the dominatrix part isn't the focus of the story. Her being a dominatrix has nothing to do with the infidelity. She met the man at a club.
By calling out people who turned to the forum for help trolls isn't doing the forum any favor. This even happened in the Juicer's thread. If you think someone is a troll, I think it is better to stop responding to the thread. The negative outweigh the positives by a large margin.
Come on, Warlock. You REALLY believe this? So NOW she is a Wiccan/nurse/dominatrix cheater?
I don't know why religion was brought into this, it's not the issue here. You can have the most devoted Christian cheat on their spouse. If she is Wiccan, there is nothing wrong with it. It's my understanding that wiccans are all about mother nature. Earth, water, wind and fire. I could be wrong, I'm not of that religion, but I have nothing against people who are of that religion.
To the OP, both you guys need to find a very good therapist to work this out.
Wow not really very believable - especially the looser OM.
So money is tight - so where do you go - out to a bar to drink. While there you are obviously flirting and meeting men, other wise HOW do you get in a conversation with a man , and shortly end up back at his place to look at his medical condition.
Lie - you went back to look at him professionally. And you only kissed.
Truth - the guy picked you up in a bar after you spent time flirting with guys. You went back to his place and had sex.
Oh, and you just happened to be in the bar again and drunk and meet up with him, and just happened to go back to his parents house and had sex.
then did it again and again.
While working your day job as the dominatrix.
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To OP - if even any of this story is true, get rid of her. She sought out a BF while up there, and in her own words he is a looser who treated her crappy - but she kept going back for more.
Oh, but here's the kicker - she did it because you had been a bad husband and not treated her right.
But wait, the OM treated her crappy too. So it's very very hard to believe that she was getting from him what she was missing, since he treated her badly too.
Sir, you've simply caught her being a liar and a cheat and now she's throwing up drama and false remorse in order to not be dumped by you. After all what is she going to do, move into 33 yr old mama boy's house with mom?
No she's in a panic. Oh, and I'd bet even money on her meet up to say good bye involved a nice roll in the hay.
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Re: I'm the cheating wh*re 
