She went to bar and saw OM with medical problem, so she accompanied him to his home to examine him.......Then he suddenly kissed her, she said no BULL SH!T, The truth is that she hooked up with OM and went to his home for banging him, She is even lying that OM had some problem so she went to his home first time.
The sex was not good, because he was not familiar with her body so she went back again and again and again (do you have any number?) Its another BULL SH!T. OM was better in bed than OP so she went to him again and again........He was abusive, but sex was good so she returned to him each time.
She was about to end her A another BULL SH!T, Every cheaters when get caught says the same. If Op didnt caught her now she may have been banging OM right now.
She is suicidal another bULL SH!T, She is clearly manipulating OP with suicidal threat, so that he dont dump her cheating a$$.
She is not remorseful or feel really anything good for OP other than the fear of getting dumped.
OP deserve better far better than her, My advice to OP is dont stay with a cheater for the sake of money and financial problem.
She went to bar and saw OM with medical problem, so she accompanied him to his home to examine him.......Then he suddenly kissed her, she said no BULL SH!T, The truth is that she hooked up with OM and went to his home for banging him, She is even lying that OM had some problem so she went to his home first time.
The sex was not good, because he was not familiar with her body so she went back again and again and again (do you have any number?) Its another BULL SH!T. OM was better in bed than OP so she went to him again and again........He was abusive, but sex was good so she returned to him each time.
She was about to end her A another BULL SH!T, Every cheaters when get caught says the same. If Op didnt caught her now she may have been banging OM right now.
She is suicidal another bULL SH!T, She is clearly manipulating OP with suicidal threat, so that he dont dump her cheating a$$.
She is not remorseful or feel really anything good for OP other than the fear of getting dumped.
OP deserve better far better than her, My advice to OP is dont stay with a cheater for the sake of money and financial problem.
Perhaps working as a DOM she decided she really wanted to be the sub and so she sought out this looser who would treat her nasty etc?
My advice to the OP is to find out on your own who the OM is. Check out the story. He knows the sister as well, so he's known to the whole family, and the while family is clearly aware that she's been hooking up and cheating.
Nice family values there BTW - Professional domme for a sister in law, got the wife into the business. Hanging out in bars hooking up with guys, spending $$$ to get drunk.
Yep, sounds like life is hard living with mom and sis and making ends meet. She doesn't have to take care of a kid, doesn't have to be faithful to her husband.
She's even so cool that when caught she rolls over and goes right back soundly asleep. Then she goes home to her lover "to meet up face-face and break it off" , because "she owes the OM to treat him nicely".
Seriously - this is the scum bag who is banging a married woman, and wants to hook up with her sister too. And you feel you OWE him a nice ending and explanation ?
and that wall of text is the story. Its everything she has told me, I've been to busy being mad at her to ask how she was feeling the last couple days. All she would respond with was "sorry, i dont know what to say".
Ask your wife to edit that with some paragraph breaks.
She's even so cool that when caught she rolls over and goes right back soundly asleep. Then she goes home to her lover "to meet up face-face and break it off" , because "she owes the OM to treat him nicely".
Still she claims she is very remorseful......................
She went for face to face because she owe him a goodbye sex,
When you shift the story around for your husbands sake...
Please make note that this helpful nurse, seduced victim role you claim directly contradicts the newfound confidence, aggressive nature and desire to dominant you say the sex trade job awakened...
Try to keep it logical, when his smog clears these are things he will reflect on.
I felt faint and like I was going to vomit. I finally told him the truth. A piece of me died. I hated to see him in pain and I caused that pain. I wanted him to punch me. I wanted to jump off our balcony and land painfully three flights down. Later I contemplated throwing myself in front of a train.
I read the entire post, but have not read all the responses.
Based on your urge to cut, you might want to see a psychiatrist two rule out border line personality disorder.
Also, you are making this all about you. Stop with the melodrama. Your husband is the injured spouse, not you.
Also ask the psychiatrist to rule out histrionic personality disorder.
If you are on anti-depressant meds, ensure that they do not reduce your level of self control.
You are lucky your husband is willing to reconcile.
Wannabenurse-- All I'm going to say is thank you for having the courage to tell us your story. Most infedelity posts on here come from the perspective of those who have been cheated on so it is helpful to see the thought process of the cheater.
That said, the depth of your infedelity and the level of rationalizing you did while in the affair is truly disturbing. It does sound like it is something you will never repeat so hopefully the two of you can build on that.
I know right? lol...we should feel bad that we watch all these threads like they are soap operas just waiting for the secret ending where the brother in law is the father of the baby or the evil twin is discovered. We get hooked especially on every "i think i'm being cheated on" thread just waiting for that confirmation..... I think I get a dopamine high from reading the posts on TAM. I'm cheating on my job and TAM is my AP. I'm a a WE (wayward employee). lol
Ok, sorry for the thread jack. back to our regularly scheduled programming.
My husband said I should come on here to get some support since he is on here too. I don't think it would really help, but I'll do just about anything to save our marriage. It all started when I moved to help take care of my Mom after her surgery. My nursing license took several months to switch over. We needed money so my sister took me in as her apprentice in her business working as a dominatrix. At first I was very reserved, but my sister kept pushing me to be more dominate and sexy for the clients. BTW my husband knew I was doing this job. It doesn't require me to be naked. No sex or blow jobs. Eventually I became dominate. The job became exciting. Guys were telling me how beautiful I was; something my husband stopped telling me a long time ago. The guys loved the sexy outfits I wore. I thought my husband didn't like me wearing lingerie. I began to feel empowered and sexy, but the job slowly ate away at my soul. Soon it wasn't any fun. I hated doing it. I dreaded getting calls for work. I needed something more to feel better. I essentially felt like a ***** without the sex. I want so badly to get a nursing job but everyone who was interviewing me said sorry kid you don't have enough experience. I became depressed despite being on antidepressants. Then one night I walked into a bar and a guy started talking to me. He told me his ribs hurt. I told him I was a nurse and I could examine him if he wanted me to. We went back to his place and after I examined him and finding a large lump on his left ribs I suggested he get it checked by a doctor. He looked at me and kissed me. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I asked him what are we doing?!?! I'm married! He said we're just having fun. I was taken back by this, but I immediately went into work mode. I refused to have sex with him that night. However, the next time I saw him we were both drunk (not an excuse) and we ended up having sex. I figured he had already touched me. My fate was sealed. I was officially a cheating wh*re. I had no one I could talk to about it. I was lying to my whole family and friends. After I got over the initial shock it started to feel good and exciting. I was sneaking around like I was in high school. And with my job I was living two completely different lives. I noticed the sex wasn't as good as the sex I had with my husband. I just rationalized the ok sex as he didn't know me well enough sexually. Soon I started going to see him even though I didn't want sex:trading sex for compliments, cuddles, and attention. I knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere and it never would go anywhere because I didn't want to leave my husband. I planned on ending the affair as soon as my husband moved in with me. The relationship with my lover became crappy. He was always terrible at communicating. He wouldn't reply to texts for days and he wouldn't return my phone calls. Then he didn't want me to be over at his house because his parents were getting mad. (yea I picked a winner 33 y/o and living at home still) We started getting into fights. I notice he was becoming rougher in bed. Sex started to hurt sometimes. I started to fake orgasms. I realized we were just f#cking. It meant nothing to me or to him. I broke it off with him twice but I kept going back because he'd apologize. It was at this point that I begged my husband to move to where I was. He refused saying we couldn't afford it and he had to keep working his current job to cover bills. I felt rejected. My secret life continued. I started seeing my husband in my mind when I was having sex with my lover. I stopped seeing him as much. the relationship was dying. I went back home to see my husband for a few days. I was planning on ending my affair when I got back. My lover texted me at 4 in the morning a sexually explicit text. My husband was pissed. I panicked. I didn't want my marriage to be over so I did what I thought was best. I lied. It worked, or so I thought. Later that morning he searched my computer and found incriminating evidence. How could I be so stupid as to not remember to clear my messages? When he confronted me I felt faint and like I was going to vomit. I finally told him the truth. A piece of me died. I hated to see him in pain and I caused that pain. I wanted him to punch me. I wanted to jump off our balcony and land painfully three flights down. Later I contemplated throwing myself in front of a train. Our son needed a mother so I dismissed that idea. Plus attempting suicide would hurt my husband again. And what better punishment than to live through the pain and suffering I so rightfully deserved. I contemplated cutting. I needed to hurt myself, punish myself. Cutting would only upset my husband more so I started to internalize the pain. Horrible thoughts of him leaving me, how I poison ever relationship, how I don't deserve anyone, how he should divorce me, and how I should die kept going through my head. I went from not eating to eating too much. I started chain smoking. I hid out in my room. I didn't want to go to the bars because they reminded me of my ex-lover. After I came back to my sister's house I confronted my lover. I asked him what would possess him to text me such an explicit text at 4am when he knew I was with my husband. He said he didn't know what he was thinking and that he was sorry. He said he was drunk. I was disgusted. I wanted to punch him. I told him my marriage may be over. I said it was just as much my fault because I forgot to delete my yahoo IMs but I should of never been with you in the first place. He apologized again. He said he knew there was nothing he could do to make it up to me. I told him we were over because if my husband catches me cheating again he will take my son and leave. I told him I loved my son and my husband more than I cared about him. He apologized but then he asked if I wanted to go back to his house. I said you are terrible. Again I wanted to punch him. I turned around and walked away. I changed his name as do not answer in my phone. I had already deleted him on yahoo. I had deleted him from my facebook two weeks earlier after a fight. So now my husband and I are trying to fix our relationship. We are trying to have sex more often. He is moving where I am in 21 days. I'm busting butt to find a different job. The interviews are flooding in all of a sudden. I can't wait to stop working as a dominatrix. I feel pain and remorse for what I did, but my husband doesn't think I'm miserable and remorseful. Thoughts of him leaving, never being able to trust me again, and contemplation of suicide keep going through my mind. Will it ever get better? Is our relationship doomed now? I'm a cheating piece of sh!@ wh*re. Now I understand why they stoned adulterous women.
You lost me when you said you could not get a job as a nurse , because you didn't have experience. Nursing students who don't have their licenses yet, or have even taken their nursing board exams can go to work full time in many states. This is a profession with a career life of 3 years related to burn out, and there is a continual shortage of warm bodies to do the job. The professional nurse is in such demand that no nurse has to be out of work ever unless she wants to be.
You lost me when you said you could not get a job as a nurse , because you didn't have experience. Nursing students who don't have their licenses yet, or have even taken their nursing board exams can go to work full time in many states. This is a profession with a career life of 3 years related to burn out, and there is a continual shortage of warm bodies to do the job. The professional nurse is in such demand that no nurse has to be out of work ever unless she wants to be.
The nursing shortage is such that they are importing nurses from other countries. My own SIL was able to emigrate to the US because of the nursing shortage. That's why my eldest is taking nursing because he will never be without a job. They even have medical assisting jobs now that basically do the jobs that LPNs do because of the shortage of LPNs and RNs. Two friends of ours were taking Medical Assisting courses, and were offered jobs even before they finished the course.
That's why this "sorry kid, you don't have enough experience" is complete bullsh!t. Nursing students start getting job offers before they even finish the course. And as the baby boomer generation ages and the need medical care increases, the nursing shortage will become worse.
Wow. I'm truthful and tell how I am and have truly been feeling and I just get criticized and called a liar. Reading the replies just makes me feel even worse than I already feel. I wasn't looking for sympathy, but dang.
Well, what did you expect? You're coming to a site where a lot of us have been betrayed and we know all the tricks and all of the excuses and all of the actions that cheating spouses do. So, there are certain things that you say, we're not buying into.
For instance, stating that the dude had rib pain and you offered to examine him at his place? Come on now...I'm in medicine and I've never done a housecall. Face it, you wanted to go back to his place so you allowed yourself to do it under the guise of being "professional" and having nothing but honorable conditions. So, I'm not buying into that excuse.
If I remember this story correctly, you were having an affair for the last 15 months. So, given that timeline, you're never going to convince Iowa that it was a drunken mistake or that you didn't enjoy the sex because, well, frankly....the affair was going on for so long. If it was that bad, why would you have gone back time and time again?
Now, here's the rub. You were in the driver's seat for your affair. NOW, Iowa is in the driver seat for what happens to this marriage. He may want to reconcile and it sounds like he does. But, one day he could wake up and decide that he can't do this anymore. And there's really nothing you can do about it. So, I strongly suggest that you two get into MC immediately. Also, and this is very important, you need to find one that specializes in infidelity.
this place is cancerous, I sent my wife her hoping she could get some help and support from those of you who have cheated, those of you who know what its like to be the cheater. I didn't come here to have her story torn apart and **** on. I have already gone over her story with a fine tooth comb, I know it wouldn't of stopped if i didn't find out, I know it would of continued cause I wouldn't of relized how bad our sex life and marriage have become because ive been worrying about bills and the stress of life too much and not making enough time for my wife. So, nothing would of changed between us and she would of continued to see him tell i caught her.
To tell me / her that finding a nursing job is easy when all ****ing hospitals are looking for 3 years experience on the floor your applying for, shes been fired from every ****ing Nursing home shes worked at, SHE HAS GENERALIZED PANIC DISORDER /Anxiety , and is bipolar.
F this place, I would like to say thanks to those of you who gave us helpful suggestions about the books we will definatly look into them and if we feel we need counseling will do so on our own terms.
147Likes
Re: I'm the cheating wh*re 
