InvisibleWoman

me and my husband met online, and we've been married for 9 months. we only knew each other for about 6 months b4 we got married, because he is in the military. well after he was done with his training, and we were already living together....i did something bad, and went through his emails. I found out back in Nov. when we were already married, he tried meeting up with a random girl from craigslist for sexual stuff. they never actually met, and theres no evidence that they did....i believe the girl became uninterested... i faced him about it. and he told me it was nothing, that he doesnt remember why he was looking online, and that nothing happened. that he was stupid...etc. so i forgave him....then later on i find evidence of him visiting more sites, and looking through posts of local girls.....casual encounters if you may call it. but physically his never shown evidence of infidelity...as far as coming home late, or not answering my calls, or smelling different, or going out randomly...etc...but for some reason i keep thinking of the time he tried meeting up a girl for sexual reason although it never happened. i am not pregnant....and i just need help learning to trust him again. I get so paranoid. i need advice. i need to get these things under control. any advice please!

Acabado

You need to start taking it very seriously. How much time its going to take untill he really met some other woman? This in case it aleready happened. Educate yourself a little more about it. A disaster is coming your way.

InvisibleWoman

he keeps saying that i act like i want him to cheat on me...etc....& that im always accusing him of crap he hasnt done..

Acabado

It's gaslighting with a spin of blameshifting. Enough to deflect the real issues and turning thing onto you: He's trolling internet for gilrs, period. Don't let him change the real subject; he's the one in the wrong.

jen1020

Hi

I absolutely agree with Acabado.

You seem to be blaming yourself for him planning to be unfaithful (if he hasn't already!). Don't even go down that road. This is not your fault, not even remotely.

You say you need help in learning how to trust him again. I say, he doesn't deserve your trust. Ask yourself, why should you trust him? Turn the situation around. How would he feel if you were trolling for unsavoury guys on craigslist? Would he just brush it off as if it was nothing?

And as for his terrible excuse of saying that you 'act like you want him to cheat on you'. Rubbish.

This isn't about you and your lack of trust, it is all about him and his inability to be a faithful partner. It is time to look after yourself and if you were thinking about getting pregnant, think twice.

If he is doing this now, you can bet that he was meeting up with these type of women prior to your relationship. Is that okay with you because I know I wouldn't be able to deal with it.

Best wishes

Jen

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moxy

He sounds like a serial cheater. You should not trust him. You should get tested for STDs, monitor his behavior, and if you find evidence of actual cheating, leave him.

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"He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

"“We first crush people to the earth, & then claim the right of trampling on them forever, because they are prostrate." -Lydia Maria Child.

Encore DT

He is visiting random sexual sites, showing interest in "casual encounters" and you are trying to "learn to trust him"? I don't mean to be judgmental but, based on what you've said here, I would start learning how to face reality, address issues head-on with your significant other and standing up for yourself.

nxs450

Believe me he has some sexual issues! It won't stop. You better get serious about what you are going to do.