Wife cheated the second time!!!

Pit-of-my-stomach · 06-06-2012, 09:56 AM

she's been f*cking him for awhile now. sorry man.

betamale · 06-06-2012, 09:58 AM

Your wife is seeking action, that's why she finds it so easily.

Do what turnera said and she'll tell you what's going on.

Shaggy · 06-06-2012, 10:02 AM

So they switched to either a new messaging app or aburner phone.

So it's still been going on all that time and before.

You need to expose it to the light of day. Your wife will be angry but it is the best way to hurt the affair.
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morituri · 06-06-2012, 10:02 AM

Your wife is a cake eater. The best way to deal with a cake eating spouses is to Just Let Them Go.

macmanus76 · 06-06-2012, 10:03 AM

I just recently found out that he has a new girlfriend and she is prego already!!

MattMatt · 06-06-2012, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by macmanus76

Thats just it I dont need her passwords or anything like that she doesnt know it but I have all access to all that, I forgot to mention that she told me she met him outside of his apartment in the parking lot, he said he would take her up and have his way with her but his dad was up there and she just laughed about it to him. Im not sure what to believe. I think she will not tell me everything in fear of losing me.

Yeah. His "Dad" was up there. Well, Dad is a new name for wife or girl friend...

lordmayhem · 06-06-2012, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by macmanus76

I just recently found out that he has a new girlfriend and she is prego already!!

She at least deserves to know what kind of scumbag she's with. This OM is a player alright, which also means that you must get tested for STDs. Tell that to your WW before kicking her to the curb.

jh52 · 06-06-2012, 10:06 AM

Mac: I read your thread and I am confused. Your wife cheated on you within the 1st two years of your marriage -- then you caught her again -- this time a year ago (July 4th). Has she been cheating with this guy for this entire year -- or is it you and her never discussed the affairs and now you are asking for advice from last year ?

Racer · 06-06-2012, 10:07 AM

I agree that with a repeat offender, you need to go the nuclear route. Nuke the marriage. Tap your emotions and just go off the deep end. Work hard so you no longer care if it works out or not. Don’t even try to ‘discuss’ this until after she’s hit rock bottom. You need to harden yourself and stop caring one bit about her... all the way from what she is doing to how she sees you. Go ahead and show her the monster. For all intents and purposes, you need to consider her a ghost who just haunts this house.... and go ahead and scream at that spectre...

Get all your stuff in order. Do it in the open. Consult lawyers, new bank accounts, make copies of all the financial records, put stops on the joint accounts, start talking in terms of her stuff / your stuff, research parenting plans, etc. The efforts she should witness is as far as she knows, all about getting rid of her. You want her panicking and overwhelmed by how fast you are moving on this. Chaos is your friend when dealing with a foggy spouse.

And hell yes that is hard. You love her. You really probably do want it work out. There will be days you just want to curl up and die. You can’t. Find that strength to shock her out of it. She needs to absolutely feel how seriously screwed up she’s made you and feel her world burning around her. How could she not see that coming?

macmanus76 · 06-06-2012, 10:11 AM

It happend last year and I am still trying to cope with it trying to decide what to do, I believe she is trying to brush as much as she can under the rug. I just dont wanna go on any more without the truth.

AngryandUsed · 06-06-2012, 10:12 AM

Mac,
This is my understanding.

You found out in the second year of your marriage that she cheated on you. Your first kid is 16 and you both are 36!

You forgave her (quick rug sweep there) and recently in June/ july last year you found out that she is cheating (emotionally?!) with her co worker. You confronted her without evidence and she gas lighted you!

That co worker has a pregy GF.

This is very normal of cheaters, any way!

Lord Mayhem has advised you to get VAR, and other methods by which you will be able to get evidence. Act normal for now, and collect as much evidence as possible.

Take care of your health.

bryanp · 06-06-2012, 10:14 AM

You would have to be in major denial not to believe that they have hooked up. How much humiliation and disrespect are you willing to endure? If the roles were reversed she would not put up with this so why are you? If you do not respect yourself then who will? No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change.

1. Get tested for STD's.
2. Expose to the OM's girlfriend
3. Expose to everyone.
4. See a lawyer to understand your options.

If you do not expose to the OM's girlfriend then you you are sending a message to him it is acceptable to screw your wife. The bottom line is that your wife does not love you. Time to move on. Good luck.

turnera · 06-06-2012, 10:14 AM

What changed after you found out? I assume she hasn't contacted him since? What changes did you make to the marriage?

macmanus76 · 06-06-2012, 10:15 AM

By the way everyone, I dont know any of you but I really do appriciate all of your thoughts and comments, I dont feel like Im by myself as much. thanks alot.

lordmayhem · 06-06-2012, 10:17 AM

Buy the VARs now and use them. Run to the store.