My wife and I are both 36, we have been together since High school, we have 2 kids 11 and 16.
The first time she cheated on me was 2 years into our marriage.
I was having these strange feelings come over me for a bit and I just blurted out to her what the hell is going on with this guy and she finally told me that they went to lunch together once
and they kissed. My wife and I and the guy all worked together and she finally told me that she said he was going to become friends with me to get to her (she knew the whole damn time!!) and didnt care to tell me.well she said sorry I beleive in second chances so I forgave her but I was just starting to kinda come back out of my shell until july 4th of last year I found out that she had over a 1000 texts to this guy from her job before she went to work at 5:00am then they started as soon as she got off work non stop till 11:00 at night. I knew somthing was up so I confronted her about it, When I asked her I could see it in her eyes that she knew she was caught. She says she dont remember any of the texts (just a couple here and there) she said they met in a bank parking lot before work in the morning and always got out of the car, I asked her why she did this and she said that they flirted for awhile and he kept bugging her about kissing him for his birthday and she finally gave in and met him.
I know they met atleast 3 timeswithin 2 weeks.
She ran a mile down the street to meet him from our house while I stayed at a friends house and they went to a nearby school before he went to work.
I asked her whenever they met what did they say to eachother and she says not a word.
To give you an idea The texts started June 20th and stopped July 4th.
It makes me sick to be around her, She wonders why I dont talk much, I just can't understand how someone can do this to someone they love or care about. I gave her no reason to doubt me or not trust me.
I dont know what to do, I want the whole truth, I dont think I know everything, and Im afraid that I am going to stay just for the kids, I will never trust her again, and I dont wanna be around someone I can't trust.
Please someone tell me something advise, anything.
She does not love you. She loves herself. You have become too beta and are boring. She deserves better (in her mind).
Prove her wrong. Kick her out and make her prove to you that she deserves you. Protect your finances so she can't drain the bank or run up the cards. Tell her if she wants to stay married to you, she will write this last OM a No Contact letter that YOU approve and send yourself (it's for the humility that she needs), she will set up a biweekly therapy session for herself, she will take all passwords off her phone and computer, she will allow you to view them whenever you want. If she doesn't want to do these things, she's welcome to move out. The kids stay with you. If she balks, go straight to a lawyer and start drawing up papers; find out if you can file for adultery in your state; go for full custody (barganing chip).
And get the book No More Mr Nice Guy and read it today.
Exposé the affair. I bet he has a GF or wife. Find her and tell her that he is having sex with you wife. Don't say they just kissed. They clearly went way past that.
Do not warn her that you are doIng this.
Also expose the affair to close friends and family.
Next ask your wife to surrender her phone and all passwords
No contact letter to OM
And then for yourself : give yourself a couple of weeks before you make the fInal D decision but in the meantime visit a lawyer get prices and have the initial papers drawn up for use if you chose D. Let your wife know you are doing this. Posted via Mobile Device
Thats just it I dont need her passwords or anything like that she doesnt know it but I have all access to all that, I forgot to mention that she told me she met him outside of his apartment in the parking lot, he said he would take her up and have his way with her but his dad was up there and she just laughed about it to him. Im not sure what to believe. I think she will not tell me everything in fear of losing me.
The texts suddenly stop July 4th eh? And you have access to her phone? This most likely means she has gotten a secret affair phone. Get a VAR, here are some examples:
If your wife is that easy, then your bet bet is to move on without her.
Today it's that man tomorrow it'll be others. Posted via Mobile Device
She cheated very early into the marriage, and now the OP finds this out. Its a good possibility that she's had other affairs that he didn't know about.
I believe they hooked up. But even if they didn't, she was going to meet him. She was willing and able. If they didn't have sex, it wasn't because she was a good girl.
You need to come down on her hard. Tell her to leave. She needs to know that this won't be tolerated, or it will continue to happen.
I think she will not tell me everything in fear of losing me.
That is the key, give her a dose of the ol fear of losing you. And i'd follow turnera's advice if I were you.
And remember, never stay in a relationship for the kids. Your kids will adapt, you will adapt and everything will work out fine. Besides you're setting a good example by not letting anyone violate your principles
Thats just it I dont need her passwords or anything like that she doesnt know it but I have all access to all that, I forgot to mention that she told me she met him outside of his apartment in the parking lot, he said he would take her up and have his way with her but his dad was up there and she just laughed about it to him. Im not sure what to believe. I think she will not tell me everything in fear of losing me.
Ah.. hot, nasty parking lot sex. I've read about this a lot. He didn't want her go to his apartment and meet his wife or girlfriend.
the reason the texts stopped is because I found out 4:00 am that morning, and when they met at his place I find it very hard to believe that nothing happened, out of the whole time anyway because to me you dont go through all of that trouble and do nothing. am I wrong? she says she wasn't looking for sex. I just would like to have a conversation with someone that I know is not going to feed me a line of crap. She stole something from me and Ill never get it back.
Thats just it I dont need her passwords or anything like that she doesnt know it but I have all access to all that, I forgot to mention that she told me she met him outside of his apartment in the parking lot, he said he would take her up and have his way with her but his dad was up there and she just laughed about it to him. Im not sure what to believe. I think she will not tell me everything in fear of losing me.
BINGO!!! Without concrete proof from you, cheaters will only tell you the bare minimum to make it seem less than what it truely is.
You asked her when they met up what did they talk about and she said nothing at all. That tells me that they were too busy doing something else.
I agree with everyone else. Get a VAR. Put one in her car and plant another one in the house in a room that you've seen her talking on the phone a lot.
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Wife cheated the second time!!! 
