BigLiam was trying to say that, to her, the circumstances she was in were the right ones to cheat.
Maybe she wouldn't be cheating if she were on a deserted island with G.C/B.P.
"Cheating under the right circumstances" is different for different people.
Point taken. Ultimately, human beings are complex creatures who are capable of doing both good and evil. I'm not in the camp that espouses that cheaters are villains who are incapable of doing anything good in their lives (e.g. being a good parent.) We're not all saints. Perhaps it wasn't the wisest thing for Magna to leave his wife for three months with three single males. Of course, she should have been strong enough to resist her primal urges. However, we should always err on the side of caution in situations that have the potential to turn out wrong.
Like I said, I am not condoning what happened. What we think happened was WRONG.
That said, I still believe that leaving her with three healthy guys was a bad mistake.How many EA's grow like cancer in mere days or weeks? Disclosure: I made a rather similar mistake in my marriage once that came back to bite me hard.
No offense intended to your relatives. It was an exaggerated statement for effect.
Posse:
I have to disagree here.
A spouse should be able to trust their spouse in a houseful of men or women.
Temptation is everywhere. If a person is at all attractive they are likely hit on many times in a week.
But sex is like drugs, just say no once you make the marriage vow. Otherwise, if a person can't keep their danged underwear on when exposed to people of the opposite sex, then don't take the vow.
Deep down, we all have a cheating nature. Some of us do a much better job of controlling it than others. If this were not the case, why would we need to try to avoid temptation?
I don't agree with the statement about avoiding temptation. My statement and position is one should stay faithful despite temptation.
When I was employed at one company, part of my job was to meet with one client daily at his estate home. He was an extremely wealthy widower.
He took a liking to me and with his private lear jet he was very tempting. I loved my husband and just said no, even though his wealth and looks were intriguing.
Quote:
We all are a mixture of dark and light, Yin and Yang.
I agree with that statement. But faithful spouses manage to stay in the light. There are many many people who choose to never cheat.
As for it being possible that an affair just happens.
There are reputable studies that claim this is not so. The studies have shown that prior to cheating the cheater has long ago made a conscience decision to do so.
Some cheaters convince themselves they have a reason. Some convince themselves it just happened. Some think its okay because they don't think they will ever get caught and some do it hoping to get caught and to force a spouse to end the marriage so they don't have to.
What makes us different, is that we are aware of how easy it is to fall into one. Therefore, we remind ourselves of our vows and stop it before it goes any further. We are not naive enough to believe that a platonic friendship between a man and a woman cannot become something much more if we allow it to. We therefore choose to act with integrity, not just for our spouse's sake but for ours as well.
Many cheaters also have the capacity for self deception that allows them to justify crossing marital boundaries thinking that they are not in danger of eventually falling into an affair.
There is something very strange with this thread. I swear it changed titles from devastated to wife cheated or cheating wife. But where is the.author? I think it is a troll. Posted via Mobile Device
There is something very strange with this thread. I swear it changed titles from devastated to wife cheated or cheating wife. But where is the.author? I think it is a troll. Posted via Mobile Device
There is something very strange with this thread. I swear it changed titles from devastated to wife cheated or cheating wife. But where is the.author? I think it is a troll. Posted via Mobile Device
Hi , so me and my wife are already 10 years together , she can be sometimes difficult to deal with cause she doesnt really know sometimes what she wants. also we are having 2 children .
I went away for 3 months for work so i gave up our apartment during that time and a friend told us there is a spare room in my other friend house where 3 male were leaving there the one is 50 the other 30 but married and the last one is single and 36 not really good looking but a very good man .
so after the months have past my wife told me that the last man who is 36 of age is very helpful to her , every time she needs help he is helping her , he even found work for her.and spending time with her and my children on the beach sometimes.
the week before I came back from those 3 months I have realised that my wife has changed towards me.then day that i have arrived home she was completely strange , didnt really wanted to hug me or give me a kiss. then i have started to suspect the worst that she was cheating on me with him.
she told me that there was nothing between them and that she only wants to be friend with him. she also told me that the day before i arrived she gave him a hug and a kiss on his cheeck.
I got angry and we had a dispute then, the next day i went to one of our friend and talked to her about it. so she talked to my wife that she shouldn't have done so the same evening we were invited by our friend for dinner . then we came back to our house and my wife received a text message saying I LOVE YOU from the 36 old fella. I got angry and went into his room to confront him , but before that when my wife read the sms message she was shocked and all her body started to shake she told me she only wants to be friend with him.
I dont really know if she had slept with him or not , she isnt in love with him, cause she has been telling me all that time that there was only a hug and a kiss on his cheek to say thank you for helping me.
Her behaviour started to be strange 1 week before I came.
could please somebody tell me if she had slept with him or not.
You know finances in life could be tough. I would never leave my wife for three months with three men. I think just being willing to do this is an issue. But it is highly likely things happened here that you would not like.
Essentially he took your place. Read into that what you want. It was predictable. No man makes tgat kind of investment without purpose. They have been intimate. To what extent who knows.
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
first of all i did not throw my wife out of the apartment.
the reason why i looked up for her a room is because we wanted to move abroad and i just wanted to try to set up my business. and also my wife is very catholic she isnt into sex.
I kept her asking over and over again if they had something she replied no .
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
A spouse should be able to trust their spouse in a houseful of men or women.
Temptation is everywhere. If a person is at all attractive they are likely hit on many times in a week.
But sex is like drugs, just say no once you make the marriage vow. Otherwise, if a person can't keep their danged underwear on when exposed to people of the opposite sex, then don't take the vow.
Whether they should or should not be able to trust this is all nice and intellectual. This is still a very unreasnable thing to do. You do not entrust your wife in a house full of men not her relatives. There is no reason one should trust these men.
You do not put yourself in such a risky situation. This is an example of an unreasonable boundary. He also showed low value by allowing this. In such a setting she going to have needs met.
Just saying that either one can keep their vows or not is more than a tad naive. This is an extreme situation and is not the same as not taking a trip on some guys lear jet. LOL. Certainly you should be able to resist such a thing. That is a clear moral choice in temptation. This is about having needs met. Her husband is away for three months. This is about her becoming emotional attached to someone who is meeting her needs. I am not excusing this. I am suggesting that any man who left his wife in a house with three men not her relatives is out of his freaking mind and more often than not is going to have marital problems over this.
Having seen how long separations impact military famlies one can see that this is absurd. Even in a military separation one does not typically leave you wife in a house with three other men. I am not saying it does not happen. Wanna bet how often that works out well? I have seen peoples personalities and baoundaries erode under such circumstances. It is amazing. Often women feel they have been abandoned. This is the most common feeling. How could their husband leave them? In this case how could their husband leave them and leave them with these men?
__________________
Rectitude--Courage--Benevolence--Respect--Honesty--Honor--Loyalty
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
"Why do we fall? So we might learn to pick ourselves up."
"It’s not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
Last edited by Entropy3000; 06-10-2012 at 10:24 PM.
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Re: cheating wife 
