Thanks everyone for the feedback, I linked to everything that was requested for me to check out. And found the information helpful.
I should probably add some more facts about my situation...Dday was March 8, and believe me I took possesion of his phone and have now put restrictions on it, changed all the passwords on computers, checked his email that he used for the game and found nothing. He has not been online since, except to tell OW that he was done with the game, and in his own words he told her that it was all a roleplay to him to get her to like him...
It took me a long time to read through all the messages that they had sent to each other, and while I was reading it all I could not see what she was giving to him that would make him love her as much as he claimed he did. ( this is part of why I believe him when he tells me it was all pretend)
It was in a private message to OW, that they communicated. From what I can tell OW seems like she is always flirting with everyone on the games chat, she seems like she knows how to reel the guys in with her sexual comments....
So my WH, starts a private converstion with her that started out with him stating that he has a loving soulmate wife, but she can depend on him to fight but nothing else.... was this a challenge to her? Because soon after she sends him two pictures of herself in bikini, without any prompting from WH.?!!
He tells her she's amazing, he starts to tell her his life story but also how much he loves me, and he tells her how we fell in love, and how he considers us soulmates...
OW and WH decide that because she is involved with someone who she loves and so is he that they can roleplay with each other and no harm will come from it..... (as WH explains this to me it was all pretend not real, he only wanted to see if he could get OW to say he was awesome, and to get OW to say she liked him)
And on and on it goes, WH gets more and more flirty with her and professing his love for her, they chat about good places to have sex, it is mostly WH stating how awesome she is.....OW doesn't seem too interested in his love for her or some of his attempts at turning it into sex talk.....but if WH states something about OW getting sick of listening to him, OW throughs him a few bread crumbs to keep him praising her...... OW sent WH two other pictures fully clothed. WH sent pictures of our family, and one of himself fresh out of shower in a towel. OW never said she liked or loved WH.
He states over and over to me that it was just a quest to see if he could get someone to like him.....
Could this just be heavy flirting on his part maybe to get OW to like him so he could have sexting with her? WH denies this but it kinda makes sense to me. As I looked through the game, I saw alot of "couples" on there talking very sexually to each other ingame.....It is very disturbing to me.
Did he see this and attempt at finding someone who would "play" this way with him... Could it be a mid-life crisis thing about seeing if he can still "catch" women...
WH states that he was realizing that he was going to far and was planning on stopping soon...and that he had become obsessed with getting OW to like him.
Thanks everyone for the feedback, I linked to everything that was requested for me to check out. And found the information helpful.
I should probably add some more facts about my situation...Dday was March 8, and believe me I took possesion of his phone and have now put restrictions on it, changed all the passwords on computers, checked his email that he used for the game and found nothing. He has not been online since, except to tell OW that he was done with the game, and in his own words he told her that it was all a roleplay to him to get her to like him...
It took me a long time to read through all the messages that they had sent to each other, and while I was reading it all I could not see what she was giving to him that would make him love her as much as he claimed he did. ( this is part of why I believe him when he tells me it was all pretend)
It was in a private message to OW, that they communicated. From what I can tell OW seems like she is always flirting with everyone on the games chat, she seems like she knows how to reel the guys in with her sexual comments....
So my WH, starts a private converstion with her that started out with him stating that he has a loving soulmate wife, but she can depend on him to fight but nothing else.... was this a challenge to her? Because soon after she sends him two pictures of herself in bikini, without any prompting from WH.?!!
He tells her she's amazing, he starts to tell her his life story but also how much he loves me, and he tells her how we fell in love, and how he considers us soulmates...
OW and WH decide that because she is involved with someone who she loves and so is he that they can roleplay with each other and no harm will come from it..... (as WH explains this to me it was all pretend not real, he only wanted to see if he could get OW to say he was awesome, and to get OW to say she liked him)
And on and on it goes, WH gets more and more flirty with her and professing his love for her, they chat about good places to have sex, it is mostly WH stating how awesome she is.....OW doesn't seem too interested in his love for her or some of his attempts at turning it into sex talk.....but if WH states something about OW getting sick of listening to him, OW throughs him a few bread crumbs to keep him praising her...... OW sent WH two other pictures fully clothed. WH sent pictures of our family, and one of himself fresh out of shower in a towel. OW never said she liked or loved WH.
He states over and over to me that it was just a quest to see if he could get someone to like him.....
Could this just be heavy flirting on his part maybe to get OW to like him so he could have sexting with her? WH denies this but it kinda makes sense to me. As I looked through the game, I saw alot of "couples" on there talking very sexually to each other ingame.....It is very disturbing to me.
Did he see this and attempt at finding someone who would "play" this way with him... Could it be a mid-life crisis thing about seeing if he can still "catch" women...
WH states that he was realizing that he was going to far and was planning on stopping soon...and that he had become obsessed with getting OW to like him.
Ugh what a load of ....sorry that role play stuff is gross. God grow up, that is all I can say. People do that so they can cheat without cheating which is also a load of crap. It is cheating to me. I am glad he is stopping it.
sirdano - yes he quit cold turkey but he didn't have a choice!!!! and he told me he would never play again, in an attempt to keep me. He came to me twice and said I think we should play it together now so that you can see what I am doing and trust me again...NO THANKS...although I wouldn't mind playing together and have played with him on x box...I don't want anything to do with the immature, lost soul, sexually inappropriate, environment that was this game....He did supplement with an old offline computer game, but he is filling some of his time now with some long neglected house repairs.
DiZ - I totally agree, it disgusts me and shocks me this how some people can lose all sense of morals....GROW UP! This OW must have no self esteem to constantly need compliments from strangers who usually only want to sext with her....SAD
This is a text WH gave to me today...." I did cross many lines, but you don"t have the benefit of being in my head, I did think it just a stupid game. I never wanted her in any way, I am very sorry, and do see how wrong I was. I did not think I was disrespecting anyone as I thought was just stupid game but did get very wrapped up in trying to get my ego boost. I just did something stupid EverRain..I didn't think it could hurt us. I am sorry, I always loved you, you are everything to me. I would never do that if I thought I meant it, I just don't know how to prove it to you."
I am so confused, I want to believe that it was just a stupid game to him, which would still cross so many lines, but I can't shake this feeling in the pit of my stomach that it was more.....And that he is just lieing to me and making me into even more of a fool...
This is a text WH gave to me today...." I did cross many lines, but you don"t have the benefit of being in my head, I did think it just a stupid game. I never wanted her in any way, I am very sorry, and do see how wrong I was. I did not think I was disrespecting anyone as I thought was just stupid game but did get very wrapped up in trying to get my ego boost. I just did something stupid EverRain..I didn't think it could hurt us. I am sorry, I always loved you, you are everything to me. I would never do that if I thought I meant it, I just don't know how to prove it to you."
I am so confused, I want to believe that it was just a stupid game to him, which would still cross so many lines, but I can't shake this feeling in the pit of my stomach that it was more.....And that he is just lieing to me and making me into even more of a fool...
There is a book recommende here very often that has helped a lot of people sort through this. "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass I think. I haven't bought it yet but its in my shopping cart for when I get enough for free shipping.
Hopefully your husband is sincere but you do need to keep monitoring to see if it has gone underground as these things are like any other addiction.
Thank you Chapparel, I am going to get a copy of this book asap.
I do believe him, just not sure that I believe the part that it was all pretend to him...... On one hand I do and want to believe, but then I start to think it was a full blown EA and my mind can't handle that...
As far as the monitoring he is unable to connect to anything online at the moment and claims he doesnt want to anyway
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Re: Need advice from online gamers 
