thesunwillcomeout

"He would look me straight in the eye and swear he would never cheat on me. " ---- Sara8 this happened to me as well...during the course of our marriage. He knew my father had cheated on my mother, and thx be to God, my parents made it through and healed from that betrayal, but it scarred me deeply. Years later my brother, who was always the trustworthy nice guy, did the same thing to his wife and their marriage didn't make it, unlike my mother she didn't give him a second chance. (Then it happened to my brother on the flip side during his second marriage.)

Now that we're in counseling and addressing the lies, calling them out, my H knows that promises now of no future infidelity because of a desire to heal the damage he's done, to not injure his family and lose us, are falling on "hearing impared" ears. Yup, hearing impared. (Not that the shell shock trauma to my ear drums can't heal.)

Two weeks ago the anger towards the other woman was rough. The feeling of wanting to rip her dermatologically enhanced face off was palpable. By grace this week my focus is back on healing myself and our relationship and keeping the focus on us and his job situation changing.

Apologies for going on and on about my situation....the short of this would be that it seems this takes time. The anger comes and goes but at the base of that anger is the hurt of being betrayed and that hurt can only be healed through true reconciliation with a remorseful and action-filled spouse, or through moving on in the event they are not there, and focusing on individual healing and being grateful for the hope of a new life. Hope that makes sense!

Honeystly

I read somewhere that the OW/OM don't feel like they're taking the H/W away, they feel they are rescuing them... Why? Because H/W talked a LOT of **** about the BS. Sooo, I think most of the anger should be directed at the spouse...
Having said that, if I ever bumped into my stbxh's new 'gf' I think I'd ensure an introduction of her teeth and the pavement.... ****ing *****!