As a result of my WW's actions, I now see the world in a completely different way. It is really hard to explain, but once upon a time, if I saw a couple holding hands I would be like "Ah, that's nice." Now I look and think to myself that sooner or later one will cheat on the other.
Anybody else feel like this?
The world has been stripped of it's romance and magic.
I am so cynical and full of sadness. I don't think I could ever trust anyone with my heart again.
I too am struggling with the odd world that has been bestowed upon me so harshly.
When I see a family biking together, I think "I bet she didn't cheat on her husband" or
"I bet they're happy enough not to cheat".
The air smells different now.
The sun shines differently.
I pay attention to the wind blowing and birds chirping.
It's strange and borderline surreal at times.
I try to attribute it to being my "awakening". I've been in a living
slumber for over 12 years and now, I'm finally seeing things
for what they are, and not what they appeared to be. While it scares me at times,
I'm at least able to take a moment to reflect
and tell myself that from this moment on, I will be in control
of my happiness and not my WW... who had my all and squandered it so badly for nothing.
happiness is real. but nobodys perfect. and everyone you see has their issues too. the grass is never greener on the other side. you can and will be happy with time. get interested in things that make you feel good and take your mind off of the pain. everyday you get a little stronger. just keep moving forward!
Whether it is with the WS that is remorseful or with someone new you will someday look down at the hand you are holding and smile again.
Make it your destiny.......
And if you are still in limbo or that bad place go take a friend or one of your children for a walk. Grab their hand, look down at both of your hands clasped together to remind you what love and friendship is all about.
What your feeling is normal. You will move through it, but if the melancholy doesn't go away you need to seek psychiatric help and maybe get on meds. They are not perfect and have irritating side effects, but they can help smooth out the emotional ups and downs.
I too am struggling with the odd world that has been bestowed upon me so harshly.
When I see a family biking together, I think "I bet she didn't cheat on her husband" or
"I bet they're happy enough not to cheat".
The air smells different now.
The sun shines differently.
I pay attention to the wind blowing and birds chirping.
It's strange and borderline surreal at times.
I try to attribute it to being my "awakening". I've been in a living
slumber for over 12 years and now, I'm finally seeing things
for what they are, and not what they appeared to be. While it scares me at times,
I'm at least able to take a moment to reflect
and tell myself that from this moment on, I will be in control
of my happiness and not my WW... who had my all and squandered it so badly for nothing.
Hang in there. You're not alone.
I think the same thing..I see a couple and think they are so lucky they don't have to deal with this issue in their relationship.
Or because H had an EA on me...I see other guys I know and think enviously, they have too much integrity to do what H did to me. Although I am happy I think this because I do not want to be the type of woman that thinks well every guy does it....because I do not believe that at all.
How I described it to my H was that I had this fairly tale life and it got ripped into pieces when I found out everything. So yes, my outlook on everything has changed. I'm not depressed. I just have a more realistic view on relationships, love and my expectations. Am I more sarcastic? Yes, sometimes. Do I have rose-colored glasses? Nope, those got smashed in the upheaval.
I got married too young, so yes now I advise students that work for me to wait-not to get married at 22. Is that bitter? No. Do I wish someone cared enough to give me straight talk then? Yes.
This was difficult for me , as well. I was angry that the world and people were not like i wished they were. The world and people just were not cooperating and things were much scarier than I realized.
But, now a couple concepts help me.
First, i know that i can survive a ton of pain. Nothing, except something bad happening to one of my kids, can hurt me this badly again. I feel like "bring it on, I can take anything".
Second, I just started taking control of my life. I cannot control other people, just myself. I rely only on myself. It is safer and makes more sense.
As a result of my WW's actions, I now see the world in a completely different way. It is really hard to explain, but once upon a time, if I saw a couple holding hands I would be like "Ah, that's nice." Now I look and think to myself that sooner or later one will cheat on the other.
Anybody else feel like this?
The world has been stripped of it's romance and magic.
I am so cynical and full of sadness. I don't think I could ever trust anyone with my heart again.
alway keep a little of that cynisism with you.
because your 50% right when you see some couple holding hands and you think which one of them is going to cheat on the other.
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Seeing The World In A Different Light 
