Started when my wife started locking her phone, turning it off as i approached her and her storties about coming 'straight from work' didnt add up.
She also was very promiscuous when we met and told me that she has had affairs with other married men before (after I confronted her that I saw her instant messages)
I had the ability to see her instant messenger and what she typed. She was bragging on her personal facebook group ( a private group accessible by only invitees) how she was meeting this one, havign an affair with a married man, 'doing' this rich guy etc). It was so hurtful to see this. I literally had tears in my eyes.
I treated her well and was a good provider for her and my daughter. I paid for everything in the house. She was still working and God knows what she was doing with her money.
So she left and started her old habit, chatting with random men and actually meeting them and being physical with them. The conversation would turn very crude within 20 minutes and she would tell those totla strangers my daughters name and sometimes her address so they could come over. I fear for my daughter's security. She would even tell those guys my name and where I hang out and my description; for what reasons? I dont know and neither does anyone.
When I confronted her about that, she became very annoyed that I was spying on her and told me and i kid you not "they are harmless"; really you barely even know these guys and they know my daughter's anme and your adress and even where I hang out? Of course she replied oh it's a joke. Obviously she is ver detached from 'real life'.
But we are now going to 'joint counseling'; what would that solve, I fear nothing since she is still seeing other men. Not sure why she even agreed to go to joint counseling.
Im still very hurt about it but I am healing faster now, as if im having some closure that my marriage is over.
I'm sure there is a woman out there that would appreciate me and what I have to offer.
I worked two jobs and one of them as a Reservist in the guard to provide for my family; nice new house, car for her, I carry all the insurances. So I feel like an idiot for having been taken advantage of.
On to new things as I know I have a lot to offer. One day at a time. I will do anything to keep my daughter safe from her mom's immature and dangerous behavior
joint counselling??? what on earth do you want to stay with her for, really?
being promiscuous before you met means nothing - both my H and I had played the field a lot before we met but I was 100% faithful to him because I believed in marriage. She obviously doesn't feel the same and you are absolutely right to be worried about your daughter frankly, very easy for predators to get access in this situation (not to worry you too much, but what does she know about any of these guys and what is she thinking giving them her address and details about your daughter?)
how could you ever even contemplate wanting her back after this?
I think the part of me that used to be there wanting her back has slowly eroded. I get that from some friends too 'How can you want her back after all the unsafe things she has been doing, never-mind the diseases she can spread?'
But im sure a lot of you have been there, you hold on to this thin line thinking tomorrow is going to be ok and you're just fooling yourself. Obviously she didnt appreciate the effort I as doing to save our marriage.
What i forgot to mention is that she also is a heavy drinker. She can drink a whole box of wine by herself in about 3 hours. Yet she tells me she doesnt over drink. I fear for my daughter everytime she goes back to her mom. If something was to happen, she would be so drunk. If any of these perverts that she talks to happens to come over.
Yet she gets so upset and I quote (hot even joking) that I dont trust her and I think she is a bad mother. Well hello, look at what you're doing for pete's sake !!
I think the part of me that used to be there wanting her back has slowly eroded. I get that from some friends too 'How can you want her back after all the unsafe things she has been doing, never-mind the diseases she can spread?'
But im sure a lot of you have been there, you hold on to this thin line thinking tomorrow is going to be ok and you're just fooling yourself. Obviously she didnt appreciate the effort I as doing to save our marriage.
What i forgot to mention is that she also is a heavy drinker. She can drink a whole box of wine by herself in about 3 hours. Yet she tells me she doesnt over drink. I fear for my daughter everytime she goes back to her mom. If something was to happen, she would be so drunk. If any of these perverts that she talks to happens to come over.
Yet she gets so upset and I quote (hot even joking) that I dont trust her and I think she is a bad mother. Well hello, look at what you're doing for pete's sake !!
my friend, this is what we call in England a 'safeguarding issue'
even I wouldn't do a box of wine on my own let alone in 3 hours - how old is your daughter?
Hire a shark lawyer and find where you wife has spent or stashed the money she's made all these years. It's half yours - you know she'll be coming after as much of yours as she can get - so you need to be proactive and go after her.
Do it for you, and do it for your daughter.
Also demand primary custody from the divorce use the grounds that your wife is engaging in very risky behavior with these men, and she is putting your daughter at risk.
my friend, this is what we call in England a 'safeguarding issue'
even I wouldn't do a box of wine on my own let alone in 3 hours - how old is your daughter?
She is 5. When her mom gets there on the week end, she would do even more drinking, forget the wine only, she also adds vodka etc. Yet she is upset that I dont trust her.
Oh when I always have told her in the past to tone down on the drinking (since she also become out of control and vulgar), I was being controlling; I mean seriously
Let me put it to you this way, and I'm sorry this is harsh, but I need to get through to you -- let's just say that tomorrow your wife takes your daughter driving, while drunk, and there's a wreck and your daughter is killed.
Do you think your future self would look back on your today self and understand why you had not taken action by now?
Again, not meaning to be harsh, I know you are in a tough, painful position, but this is nothing to be fooling around with. This is BAD. And I think you should be taking action right away.
I hope you will. And I hope you will keep posting. Lots of good folk here who've seen it all.
she adds vodka to wine? who gives a toss if she's upset or accuses you of being controlling - that's an alcoholic talking if ever I heard one
please get your daughter out of there, she's five years old and she's having to deal with her mother's drinking on her own
do you have any concept of how lonely and frightening your daughter's life must be with her mum behaving this way? I'm not trying to guilt trip you but you have to take control of this situation
This is a disaster. How did you have kids with this woman? Until her infidelity, you chose to close your eyes to all her faults, didn't you? Now you are seeing the true her.
Hire a shark lawyer and find where you wife has spent or stashed the money she's made all these years. It's half yours - you know she'll be coming after as much of yours as she can get - so you need to be proactive and go after her.
Do it for you, and do it for your daughter.
Also demand primary custody from the divorce use the grounds that your wife is engaging in very risky behavior with these men, and she is putting your daughter at risk.
Plus sell the car which she is using, sell other things under your name whcih she uses, cancel all other things which benefit her like yesterday.
Also keep records of everything she is doing in multiple copies, prefarably offsite.
43Likes
Deceived over and over again 
