Ask if her cheating gives you a right to do more damaging stuff to marriage and blame it on her.
You need to firmly (not angrily) but firmly set her straight just as warlock has said. "Nothing I EVER did was as wrong as what you've done. And if you truly think that way, our marriage is over." I've had to say this a couple of times. Sadly it's nothing but the truth.
Thanks bandit you and others been a lotta help,she said if i had not pushed her away and treated her with more love it would have never happened,B.S.
She is right. You pushed her away. You did not give her enough love. I am crying my eyes out. She has such a sucky life. I feel soooooooo sorry for her. She was denied love. She was pushed with legs wide open into the OM's penis. You did it. It is all your fault. Accept it. Because that is her view. And of course she is correct. All cheaters are, CORRECT.
__________________
This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.”
My husband told me to leave on the day after Christmas last year. I saw him today for the first time since that awful day.
I was happy because he looked so healthy and calm. But I was hurt by that as well.
I pulled this off of another site but it is a sentiment that has to hit home w/ any ww.
I tried to tell him about me, that I knew that I needed to change, that I did not know if I could ever really be deserving of him but I was trying so hard and would try harder. I lost control and started babbling, I think. He cut me off. "You'll be fine," he said. "There are other people like you and other people like me. And as long as you stick to your own kind and leave people like me to mine, you won't do anyone any harm." His eyes were as kind as I always remembered them; he was looking at me with compassion. It was as if he were able to look deep into me and had determined that there was nothing to find.
I always knew that my hopes for reconciliation were improbable, but it just seems so much worse than I had ever imagined. It may be self-pity but it hurts so badly to finally have to face what we have come to.
Well... 6 months of courtship plus 6 months ..like rabbits and now idea about his life? Put in her shoes. Would you be able to stay one YEAR!! having a deep intimate relationship with a coworker and not knowing whether she was married?
A big pile of horsesh!t. Tell her stop lying and pretending.
She wanted to disclose details to OM'sBW out of spite, to hurt MOM who probably threw her under the bus the minute they were busted (I have no doubt he accused her of being the persuer). It's all about saving their asses, pure damage control.
Well... 6 months of courtship plus 6 months ..like rabbits and now idea about his life? Put in her shoes. Would you be able to stay one YEAR!! having a deep intimate relationship with a coworker and not knowing whether she was married?
A big pile of horsesh!t. Tell her stop lying and pretending.
She wanted to disclose details to OM'sBW out of spite, to hurt MOM who probably threw her under the bus the minute they were busted (I have no doubt he accused her of being the persuer). It's all about saving their asses, pure damage control.
It is possible. And since it is an affair, the involvement in personal is limited
My husband told me to leave on the day after Christmas last year. I saw him today for the first time since that awful day.
I was happy because he looked so healthy and calm. But I was hurt by that as well.
I pulled this off of another site but it is a sentiment that has to hit home w/ any ww.
I tried to tell him about me, that I knew that I needed to change, that I did not know if I could ever really be deserving of him but I was trying so hard and would try harder. I lost control and started babbling, I think. He cut me off. "You'll be fine," he said. "There are other people like you and other people like me. And as long as you stick to your own kind and leave people like me to mine, you won't do anyone any harm." His eyes were as kind as I always remembered them; he was looking at me with compassion. It was as if he were able to look deep into me and had determined that there was nothing to find.
I always knew that my hopes for reconciliation were improbable, but it just seems so much worse than I had ever imagined. It may be self-pity but it hurts so badly to finally have to face what we have come to.
This woman had multiple A's, and you are quoting her, for what?
__________________
This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.”
203Likes
Re: Having major trouble 
