She is shamelessly pursuing the 20 year old. Now your marriage depends on his interest or lack of it in your wife.
And a 44 year old married woman pursuing a 20 year old is f*cking creepy. Imagine a guy doing this.
Reminds me of the "Last Picture Show."
when I was single a 26 year old asked me out when I was 48. We went on a couple of dates. He finally asked me how old I was. I assumed he was early thirties. He said, based on things I had talked about he assumed I was 38. (when I tell people when I came to the UK, they assume that I was in my 20s when i was in my 30s)
So we agreed we weren't right for each other. He then said, if you need an FB, and I was thinking, buddy boy, you would still have to be the one pursuing it.......
It's funny how in our society, the assumption is that men chase and women pace. If you watch music videos, that's usually the little story that gets played out.
Do you have a copy of this letter? If you have one, make another one and stash it.
Sit down with her and calmly tell her that you know what she has done. Tell her that she needs to pack her **** and get the **** out of YOUR house. Tell her to go to her 22-year old and let him provide for her.
She will probably tell you that the guy has no interest in her, which will not be true, although this is not his fault- it's hers.
Demand that she give you contact information for this kid so you can talk to him yourself. Destroy the two's ability to communicate with each other, just in case she tries to get him to help spin a story, and confront him. Don't be aggressive toward him, but just get his side of the story.
Any takers on how long before he gets the 'I love you but I'm not in love with you' speech?
She's been acting funny for two months so she's clearly deep into the fog. It's shock and awe time. Maybe she'll wake up and see what she might be throwing away. I suspect the move from Washington to the East Coast was a lot more difficult for his wife than Frank suspects. She might be pissed at him for moving her across country away from her family and friends. Unless, he takes decisive action this story will not end well.
I hope he comes back and reads the recommendations.
Don't confront unless you have the emails, chats, etc. Then sit her down and walk her through what she wrote.
If she laughs it off as "oh, it's nothing", "he is just a boy", she is in the fog.
She needs NC, and to quit the job. Jobs like this are plentiful, she can do something else.
She also needs to work on her low boundary issues.
If she is open to discussion ask her why she is doing this. She should tell you something like, you are ignoring me, I don't feel like you are paying attention to me, etc. Then work on those issues.
hopefully it has not gone beyond the EA at this point and the EA is difficult enough to work through.
__________________
This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.”
__________________
This kind of cosmic dumbassery occupies a temporal plane of ineptitude and lack of reason so profound a Zen master could spend a lifetime meditating upon its philosophical consequences.”
No, wife flirts to get laid. She is in an emotional affair, at the VERY least. Get her out of that job NOW! And, as another poster said... NC with this boy. Yes, I said BOY! He is only 22! He is a boy! And, a poster said she is not to shop at THAT store anymore. I agree with that as well. If she wants a job for her own spending money, fine, renew her nursing license and get a job a couple days a week doing that. But get her away from this OM! Remove every aspect of this boy from her life. NOW!
Agree with everyone else. Your wife is cheating, big time.
But, on another note, WTF do some guys get the twisted notion that they are some sort of hero for being the only one earning $$ for the family.
Your wife is capable and well trained. Why is it you feel her life shoud have more leisure time than yours.
With a wife like you have, who cheats, setting up this stay at home mom paradigm is a death sentence for you as a man. When she cheats again(and, yes, odds are this is not her first rodeo. You know the tip of this iceberg.), if you have let this stay at home deal go on long enough, you may get hosed in a divorce.
WTF is a healthy 44 year old doing retired. leading a life of leisure while you grind it out. Have some self respect. You do not need to buy love.
Women love sex, as your wife is demonstrating(maybe not with you at this time, but , clearly with this kid). So, why do you feel you have to buy love/sex/affection. by being the laboring oar finanacially. Is she entilted to more time off than you? See how she spends it, cheating on you?
Agree with everyone else. Your wife is cheating, big time.
But, on another note, WTF do some guys get the twisted notion that they are some sort of hero for being the only one earning $$ for the family.
Your wife is capable and well trained. Why is it you feel her life shoud have more leisure time than yours.
With a wife like you have, who cheats, setting up this stay at home mom paradigm is a death sentence for you as a man. When she cheats again(and, yes, odds are this is not her first rodeo. You know the tip of this iceberg.), if you have let this stay at home deal go on long enough, you may get hosed in a divorce.
WTF is a healthy 44 year old doing retired. leading a life of leisure while you grind it out. Have some self respect. You do not need to buy love.
Women love sex, as your wife is demonstrating(maybe not with you at this time, but , clearly with this kid). So, why do you feel you have to buy love/sex/affection. by being the laboring oar finanacially. Is she entilted to more time off than you? See how she spends it, cheating on you?
It would be interesting if the wife here uses the "he didn't give me enough attention" routine.
Agree with everyone else. Your wife is cheating, big time.
But, on another note, WTF do some guys get the twisted notion that they are some sort of hero for being the only one earning $$ for the family.
Your wife is capable and well trained. Why is it you feel her life shoud have more leisure time than yours.
With a wife like you have, who cheats, setting up this stay at home mom paradigm is a death sentence for you as a man. When she cheats again(and, yes, odds are this is not her first rodeo. You know the tip of this iceberg.), if you have let this stay at home deal go on long enough, you may get hosed in a divorce.
WTF is a healthy 44 year old doing retired. leading a life of leisure while you grind it out. Have some self respect. You do not need to buy love.
Women love sex, as your wife is demonstrating(maybe not with you at this time, but , clearly with this kid). So, why do you feel you have to buy love/sex/affection. by being the laboring oar finanacially. Is she entilted to more time off than you? See how she spends it, cheating on you?
One of my WS's OW was a stay at home mom. She had all the time in the world to be available to stroke his ego, offer advise, and to be there for him.
These antiquated notion of chivalry and the like are just no longer applicable in today's world. Guys that set themselves up like this(me, for example) will get royally screwed in a divorce.
I was/am an idiot. Thought I'd married June Cleaver or something.
Agree with everyone else. Your wife is cheating, big time.
But, on another note, WTF do some guys get the twisted notion that they are some sort of hero for being the only one earning $$ for the family.
Your wife is capable and well trained. Why is it you feel her life shoud have more leisure time than yours.
With a wife like you have, who cheats, setting up this stay at home mom paradigm is a death sentence for you as a man. When she cheats again(and, yes, odds are this is not her first rodeo. You know the tip of this iceberg.), if you have let this stay at home deal go on long enough, you may get hosed in a divorce.
WTF is a healthy 44 year old doing retired. leading a life of leisure while you grind it out. Have some self respect. You do not need to buy love.
Women love sex, as your wife is demonstrating(maybe not with you at this time, but , clearly with this kid). So, why do you feel you have to buy love/sex/affection. by being the laboring oar finanacially. Is she entilted to more time off than you? See how she spends it, cheating on you?
Big Liam, I agree that 44 is a bit too young for Frank's wife to be retired. I was fortunate to be able to have my ex stay home with the kids for eleven years and this made a big difference in their quality of life. Of course, not everyone is as fortunate, and more often than not, both spouses need to work to have a decent lifestyle. Being a SAHM is no piece of cake. I would go bonkers have to watch the kids all day.
However, in Frank and his wife's case, their child is now in school and she should be able to go back to work part-time in the nursing field. They will need to have a candid and gut-wrenching discussion on her lack of boundaries because she'll be working around male doctors -- and we know how lecherous they can sometimes be.
I do find it interesting that the OP's wife would choose to work as a cashier at a grocery store. I can't imagine the pay being more than minimum wage. she probably burns more than that in gas and wear and tear on the car.
If money were truly no object, why isn't she volunteering for the PTA or some charity in the city. And again, it seems to me that nursing can lend itself to a part time situation in a clinic, hospital or doctor's office.
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Re: Wife flirts to make friends 
