I do find it interesting that the OP's wife would choose to work as a cashier at a grocery store. I can't imagine the pay being more than minimum wage. she probably burns more than that in gas and wear and tear on the car.
Well, OP probably picks up the expenses while she keeps the wages herself.
I do find it interesting that the OP's wife would choose to work as a cashier at a grocery store. I can't imagine the pay being more than minimum wage. she probably burns more than that in gas and wear and tear on the car.
It allows her to meet lots of young and exciting people?
It allows her to meet lots of young and exciting people?
I am intrigued now about the personality of this woman. One could probably just as easily work at the local department store and at least get discounts in addition to the minimum wage offered. I just don't understand why she would choose to work in a grocery store when making money was NOT the first objective to finding a job.
I apologize, maybe I'm being inappropriate talking to you the way I do. Maybe I'm in love with you. Maybe you wonder why...and I really can't explain it correctly but I will try. You will meet so many people in your life, some will turn your head,others you barely know they are next to you. I can't tell you why I feel like I have a fever when I am near you like I have never felt before, and please don't get grossed out, its just a crush. I certainly can't tell anyone. So there, I said it, I think you are lovely. ...and 10 minutes later, she still pressed the send button and spewed it... Soooooo ****ing cute I hate you.
Omg. That is teenager spew.
Nip it in the bud, stat. Print it out and show it to her and tell her, This is entirely inappropriate.
OR jus tell her you found out she's been inappropriate and it's completely disrespectful to you, to your marriage, to your family.
Tell her she has a choice to make but so do you.
If she won't end it, end your relationship. That email she sent is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY over the top (and making me feel embarassed for her--a woman at 44 talking like that is... ridiculous.) She is married, not Selena Gomez typing to Justin Beiber. Ick.
I can't add any more to what has already been said about this being an EA and that it has to stop. What you do need to know is what is going to happen.
Either she is completely remorseful, breaks down, then confesses everything, quits her job at the grocery store and goes NC with this boy.....OR the most likely event:
She will get ANGRY and indignant about you reading her email and invading her privacy. She will try to make this the focus of the argument instead of her having an EA with this boy.
She will gas light you (google this) trying to make you think that you're crazy and jealous and that this is a harmless flirtation with this boy, how he's too young for her and that she was just having a little fun that went too far. But in the end she will insist on that you're just jealous.
She will blameshift - meaning that because you ignored her, or didn't pay her enough attention, blah, blah, blah, this is all your fault
You should respond that you're not crazy, or jealous, that the red flags you were receiving by her actions gave you the right to check her email. Tell her this is NOT jealous or controlling, this is protecting your marriage! Privacy is when you shut the door when you just the bathroom. What she wants is secrecy, and there should be no secrets in a marriage.
Do not accept any blame for her EA, that's entirely upon her. You were only responsible for 50% of the state of the marriage before the affair, she is 100% responsible for the cheating.
I moved my family to the east coast from WA State about 3 years ago. Our adjustment wasn't easy at times, but I have a great job, we have a nice house, and a good school for my 6 year old boy.
I have a beautiful wife. Sincerely, the woman is gorgeous. She's 44 and I'm 39 and we've been married for 10 years.
I make enough money for my wife to stay home. After 22 years of nursing, my wife quit her job, and became an awesome stay at home mom. When I'm at work, and my boy's at school, she has the freedom to do what she wants. I trust her dearly, and have never suspected her to cheat on me.
About 6 months ago, my wife got a job at a local grocier for a 2 days a week, for her own spending money. I am fine with the idea, and I am proud of her for doing it.
I have been noticing my wife has been acting funny the past 2 months, just not herself. She has been sending messages on facebook a lot more than she used to, and talking about one of her 22 year old coworkers a lot. I hate to say it, but I became totally suspicious. I knew that something wasn't right.
I looked at her email account, and found that she was sending messages to the coworker that weren't sexual, but very inappropriate.
Here's some excerpts: I apologize, maybe I'm being inappropriate talking to you the way I do. Maybe I'm in love with you. Maybe you wonder why...and I really can't explain it correctly but I will try. You will meet so many people in your life, some will turn your head,others you barely know they are next to you. I can't tell you why I feel like I have a fever when I am near you like I have never felt before, and please don't get grossed out, its just a crush. I certainly can't tell anyone. So there, I said it, I think you are lovely. ...and 10 minutes later, she still pressed the send button and spewed it... Soooooo ****ing cute I hate you.
I haven't read the entire thread yet, so I apologize if I miss something.
This is a very dangerous relationship. This is how my STBEH's Physical and emotional affair started, hot and heavy emails (late into the night) texts, sharing coffee, etc.
My Soon to be ex husband's affair partner was also the type of woman who had too much time on her hands and no idea how to keep herself occupied.
Don't ignore this, nip it in the bud, whether or not you intend to stay married to your wife.
Keep snooping, go low key but deeper. Get a VAR, monitor the phone using, keylog the PC... She's chasing youn men outhere. It's not ''harmless flirting'' to make friends, it's highly innapropiate and cross any reasonable boundaire in a married woman.
Think hard about your boundaires and dealbreakers, you wife needs to respect you in order to stay married to you. Period.
Once you confront her you need to be very firm and clear about what you are going to tolerate in the marriage. If she doesn't agree to the acceptable boundaries for a married woman she has to go.
I'd confront now, but somehow not reveal my source. I don't know...maybe you could say that an anonymous coworker called and told you what he heard? She'll head deep underground if she knows you're snooping her accounts.
I do find it interesting that the OP's wife would choose to work as a cashier at a grocery store. I can't imagine the pay being more than minimum wage. she probably burns more than that in gas and wear and tear on the car.
If money were truly no object, why isn't she volunteering for the PTA or some charity in the city. And again, it seems to me that nursing can lend itself to a part time situation in a clinic, hospital or doctor's office.
Yes. The nursing profession has a lot of part time opportunities and they can find work anywhere in the U.S.
There are a lot of woman like me (stupid maybe) who like to pull their own weight and contribute equally.
Some men feel emasculated by that, apparently because STEH's OW never worked a day in her life.
That's the way its supposed to be IHMO. Both my pay and my fWWs pay is our money. My ex BIL was like that, he didn't want my sister to work, that he should be the one earning the money. He felt insecure that my sister was working.
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Re: Wife flirts to make friends 
