I've been with my husband for about 15 years with a major separation in between (I left him because I couldn't stand the jealousy and issues).
He's always been the same way and I've always thought something was wrong with him. However, I have something wrong with me too apparently since I'm still with him.
I know no one on the internet can diagnose but can you give me some ideas?
He has always been insanely jealous and possessive. There has definitely been a history of emotional abuse. He interrogates me whenever I am away (work, gas station etc.), calls me constantly to "check up on me". He has managed to estrange most of my friends and family over the years. I am constantly being accused of cheating even though I never have. As a matter of fact HE was the one recently caught in an EA. I put up with all of that because his ex-wife cheated and he was supposedly traumatized by her.
The other things he does are:
-turn little fights into major blow outs (I cannot remember one vacation, trip, etc. that has not been ruined by his temper or a bout of jealousy etc.)
-make me doubt things that I know to be true (I guess he's gas lighting me)
-makes me feel like I'M the crazy one
-when he does not want me to do something (such as dinner with friends) the fight goes like this every time---- first he begs and pleads for me not to go, then he yells at me for probably cheating on him and wanting to leave him, then threatens to pack up and leave me if I go, progresses to threatening me with custody of the kids if I "abandon" them
- black and white, all or nothing thinking
-very high sex drive, he is never satisfied even with more than once per day
Through my own IC I have become a stronger person and have been standing up for myself a bit more. So, he now tells me that the problem was always with me...because I did not stand up for myself?
Anyway, some other traits he has:
-very immature (everything is always someone else’s fault, no personal responsibility)
-always changes the subject back to himself, constant interrupting
-financially irresponsible (we both work but I pay all the bills or else he would just spend the $)
Ok, well I know I didn't paint a very nice picture of him but there are a lot of good parts too. Otherwise I wouldn’t be with him still...
Does this description scream out any particular disorder when you read it??