LostWifeCrushed

I am shaking. I can't take anymore. I finally told H I can't stand it anymore. He is still maintaining that he does not know why I am "freaking out". I started packing and started taking pictures of my prize piano to sell so I could have enough money to leave. I was crying and telling him, "If I have to sell this because you refused to leave I will resent you for the rest of my life. No, I will hate you."

He told me to stop b!tching him out" and finish packing. This was it for me. I told him he agreed months ago that I would decide who leaves the house, and I want HIM to leave. so he said, "Well, then I have 30 days."

I said "fine" and walked away. My heart is beating out of my chest. I can't stand this.

16 years and 9th year of marriage. This really hurts.

lamaga

I'm so sorry. Can you call up a friend?

DawnD

I am afraid I don't know your backstory LWC, but I will go do some reading now to see if I can get caught up. Can you give me a quick summary? Ea? PA? How long has it been since DDay?

LostWifeCrushed

DDay= Jan 2012

I don't know what happened or how long it was going on. All I know is he had been going to sex hookup sites and destroyed the hard drive when I found out, so I assumed the worst. This is a nightmare.

DawnD

Can you tell me what happened that made you start shaking?

jnj express

OK LWC----settle yourself down

Ask your self, one question---Is this F'ing, Cheating Jerk, you have for a H., worth, what you are doing to yourself---You know the answer is NO---so stop tearing yourself apart

Get out of the house, go visit someone---go anywhere---this may be tearing you up, and it is also an anger spike--but you need to get a grip---this isn't new---so you just need to suck it up

I know, you don't want to hear this, but you need to hear it anyway---get yourself under control

It is time to do a 180 for yourself, and to completely freeze your H. out, just ignore him, completely---do a NC on your H.

Remember half of everything the 2 of you have amassed since the mge. began, is yours---so you wouldn't leave the mge---in any bad type of situation financially, force the sale of the home, and half of those proceeds are yours.

As far as paperwork/D, if that is what you wanna do---read my posts in Bigtimemess's thread---it will tell you what you need to know, and do----just get yourself together, stop showing your H., any type of WEAKNESS---show him up, show him you are the better person

Right now, he is blithely riding along, cuz he in his own mind is certain, you will do nothing---its time for you to wake his LITTLE A*S up!!!!!!!

canttrustu

What happened to cause this suddenly???

LostWifeCrushed

Me. I can't take it anymore. I can't stand seeing him on the computer. I can't stand his crappy attitude. I am tired of not sleeping in my bed, with my husband. I am tired of the little morsels of affection. I can't stand the shrew of a wife I have become.

We fought last night. We fought at our last MC session. We've basically been fighting or ignoring each other for a while now. I can't stand it. We are supposed to be in R. He thinks because I am in love with him I will just put up with this forever.

hookares

What you describe is called "beating a dead horse".
You or he should have rode it out of town as soon
as you found out about his actions.

LostWifeCrushed

I told him I want an apology from him for being an a$$hole to me last night. His reply?

"I am sorry I had a bad day yesterday and got mad when you came in the bedroom and starting b!tching me out."

WTF

DawnD

Have you sat down and actually wrote a list of what you feel you need from him to be able to R?

I will tell you this much: I truly believe that the fate of the marriage begins with the wayward spouse. If my husband hadn't had accepted responsibility for his actions, recognized he caused pain to me, and worked to be a better man and husband, then we would be divorced right now. If you don't feel he is working to fix the marriage, that should be talked about at the next MC appointment, along with your thoughts on even staying married.

is this the trigger from seeing him online and his attitude talking, or is this the calm you, recognizing you might not want to be married to him anymore?

LostWifeCrushed

I tried this. He refused to leave. Just like now. He does whatever he wants.

LostWifeCrushed

If anyone cares, my original thread was called "Cloak and Dagger". If you read it, you'll know why.

canttrustu

If it matters- I think youre making the right call here. Destroying the harddrive leaves too many unanswered questions and he lacks true remorse seemingly. Im so so sorry LWC.

DawnD

I can't find the original, only cloak and dagger 3.0 and 4.0