Thank you to all of your sincere advice and honest opinion. I appreciate it with all my heart.
On Thursday, I was very pressure to tell my husband the truth as the OM is going berserk. He received my letter and went psycho. He called to tell me he loves me and that he would take care of me and my daughter. (I FEEL SICK TO MY STOMACH) He went to follow me to my house (while on my way home from work) I was terrified. As soon as I got home, My husband surprises me with flowers, a kiss, a hug and weekend hotel getaways down the shore all the while the OM is outside my house (in his car) lurking and waiting (He sent texts msgs begging for me to see him). I was TERRIFIED; I was worried of possible altercation between my H and the OM. I never want to put my H in this situation, I never thought OM would turn the way he is (Possessive, jealous and wouldn’t let go)
Fast forward, I went to MC with my H today anyway, I told him all my feelings, my loneliness and that I need him. I also request to have an MC session of my own for 10 Mins to tell the MC that I cheated on my H and that I needed to get this off my chest. He brought us back together in the same room. He left the room and I proceeded to tell my H about my colleague (exec from corporate office) “Don” has been harassing me, following me and begging. I told him that the reason was because I developed an EA affair that ended up into PA. He was in total SHOCKED, his facial expression was unreadable and he asks me “why”, that’s all he said, he couldn’t find words in his mouth, he was just quite. I cried, I hugged him, I begged for forgiveness. I told him that if he wouldn’t be able to accept, I understand, but I also told him that I love him so much.
We went home together, I was terrified, and my heart was pounding. I feel terrible, scared, and sad, I cried my heart out. My tears flown down my cheeks uncontrollably, it just hurt me so much to watch my H devastated. He couldn’t talk to me, so I gave him space and hugged him one more time; he whispers that if he will stay with me it will only be because he believe in god and the sanctity of our vows.
I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. Thankfully, I don’t have a job to go to on the weekend so I can figure out how my H and I will go about this. I love him and I will tell him everything about the OM. Especially now that I feel like I am being stalked.
Thank you for all of your advice. Although, I feel incredibly sad and lonely, I also freed myself from lies. In my situation, I feel strangely good.
Well done on telling your husband. Give him some time to process what he was told.
You might want to contact your HR and the police department about the OM. You can never know what he'll do, so deal with him through legal methods ASAP.
I wouldn't want to ruin OM's career, however, if he don't back off, I may have to report him to HR and file a police report. I already save all our corresponding emails, texts message and voicemails (in case he does anything to get me in trouble at work), I am also planning on putting a transfer to another region to be away from his control (So I wouldn't be under his supervision)
Defending on how my H wants to handle the OM, I will give him my full support.
Kudos to you for being honest and brave. Its up to your husband now. Tell him the OM is stalking you and call the police if you have to. Posted via Mobile Device
Thank you. I'll see what will come out of this. Either way, I'll respect my H decision.
Most of my friends (around my age 28) are single, so is the OM who is just a year older. What I felt for the OM was false feelings, I was having a good time with him, bar, restaurant, laughing with friends, I shortly forget that I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful daughter, a home, a life.
I'm thinking of directing my H to this website, maybe he'll get an insight during the healing process. I would like so much to help him heal.
It was hard but you did it! That's the first step. Take care of your husband. He's going to be in a terrible place for some time. It take years to heal from being cheated on.. 2-5 years. The emotional damage is sever.
The books I suggested that you get and read will help you help both of you. If he's up to it, have him read them with you. And then work on what the books tell you to do.
You are not seeing the other side of the OM. I'm glad to hear you are putting in for a transfer. I hope you get it very soon.
Dealing with the OM is not going to be tough, so no worry. What worst could happen? Either way you have to find another job, or the OM needs to quit his job. Get HR involve, if he keeps bothering you.
Make sure you dont start convicting your husband with the argument I did this because of your lack of romance. This is not the time. It is going to be long long road my friend going thru this. But your husband is fundamentally a good person. He was willing to work thru this. Change your login id to something different if you can when you can.
Good luck with everything. Posted via Mobile Device
Keko, someone said that it is better to fix my marriage first before telling him I cheated. I don't know which one to do first. I was thinking that I would tell him about the friendship I developed with OM, and that I had a short affair and ended it because I love him. I think that my H would explode from anger, I dont know I'm really scared. I feel like it's easier to D my H and stop loving him, but I owed it to my daughter to at least try, if my H decides he couldn't do it anymore, then I will be left very heartbroken and it's all my fault for cheating. MC is on Friday after work, after MC, I will tell him everything.
Good for you and "Don" better stay away before he gets shot by your husband.
And as bad as your situation is you should feel good after telling the truth.
I do hope you guys can work it out.
Your H is really going to need your support now. No 2nd chances Torn!!!