My husband and I have been together since high school. We were very loving and we have seven children together. Since we have been married (10 years) he has had two affairs. I found out about the first one but we were so young that I forgave very quickly and we did the marriage counseling thing and I thought it worked. He told me that he could never put me through that pain again and that it hurt him to much. Now 5 years later he tells me he has a friend of about two weeks and felt so bad that he had to tell his best friend which is supposed to be me...I feel so hurt and betrayed. I do not know how to begin to forgive. We are going back to counseling because he says he loves me so much. He says he wants unconditional love and that he is sorry. I am so hurt that I don't know what to do. My whole life is wrapped around this family unit that we have created and I don't feel like I can walk away. I have no one to talk to and I feel all alone. This forum is the first time I have communicated this to someone other than him....what do I do...
the longer you provide a safety net for him, he knows he has the best of both worlds.
your life depends on what you want from your marriage.
it sounds like an open marriage from his point (in an affair type ) way.
its just what do you want ?
because he wil carry on.
did he explain to you why did he have that affair? my husband had 3 affairs in 2 years. we are in counselling, and of coz i am in denial that things will work out. though i am not holding high hopes at all.
the difference is, your hubby came clean with you. mine didn't and i found out myself. my hardly show any remorse. though he say he love me.
well, i love him, i understand that by forgiving him he will continue, but we have 2 kids and i understand of coz kids shouldn't be a factor.
you may be right that he wanted a porn star wife. becoz that's wat i used to be. all these mini affairs..started after i got pregnant with first, and got worse after my 2nd. basically i am totally NOT INTO sex anymore. but i still dun think its an excuse to get acquainted with girls outside. though it have never got to sex, he mentioned if i did not intercept early, he also wouldn't know what will happened. we are also loaded with lots of peripheral problems like debts etc.
I agree that i may be too weak to move on by my own together with the kids. though we are financially independent of each other. but besides that, me & hubby are great together as buddie of life. so how do you view this?