Great article about cheating

thrway214 · 06-27-2012, 08:15 AM

This article in Time has nothing to do with infidelity specifically, but a lot of it rang true.

For example:
the biggest driver of dishonesty is the ability to rationalize our actions so that we don’t lose the sense of ourselves as good people

And

“Small dishonesties matter because they can lead to larger ones. Once you behave badly, at some point, you stop thinking of yourself as a good person at that level and you say, What the hell. This is something many people are familiar with in dieting. We’re disciplined until we lapse, and if we can’t think of ourselves as good people, then we figure we might as well enjoy it. And it happens with honesty as well. Cheaters too can start with one step.

Ofcourse, infidelity is perhaps the highest form of cheating, and its course is one of devastation and heartbreak.

Sara8 · 06-27-2012, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thrway214

This article in Time has nothing to do with infidelity specifically, but a lot of it rang true.

For example:
the biggest driver of dishonesty is the ability to rationalize our actions so that we don’t lose the sense of ourselves as good people

And

“Small dishonesties matter because they can lead to larger ones. Once you behave badly, at some point, you stop thinking of yourself as a good person at that level and you say, What the hell. This is something many people are familiar with in dieting. We’re disciplined until we lapse, and if we can’t think of ourselves as good people, then we figure we might as well enjoy it. And it happens with honesty as well. Cheaters too can start with one step.

Ofcourse, infidelity is perhaps the highest form of cheating, and its course is one of devastation and heartbreak.

Yes. I think cheaters start with small lies and justifications for those and then they start to be able to justify larger lies.

Cheaters are bad people though. So, I think they don't just see themselves as bad people they are bad people.

I always adored my STBEH, so I think I was blind to the fact that he was never really a good person. Hence his ability to cheat.

I did during my life meet cheaters and I never always could see that they weren't nice people in many many ways.

I was just blind to it in my STBEH.

Goldmember357 · 06-27-2012, 04:20 PM

most people are driven by self interest

most people are not good

just because most individuals do not murder or rape does not mean they are "good people". I believe we are born good but i believe that the world changes most people far to much and most in turn become driven by self interest and become habitual liars.