iheartlife

Yes, think of his children--they are in the same position as yours and don't deserve a dad like that.

__________________
Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass

Turning the Mind Into an Ally

Acabado

How are you going to interact with OM2/neibourgh? Wife needs to know so you don't have to deal with him in case children remain friends. Trust me you do't want to lose it one fine afternoon at park and jailed for it. NC with OM2(?)

keko

If you can, before she waste's it on shopping and vacations can you have some of it placed in secured places for kids college tuition?

ing

YOu know..
If you as a married couple were aware of this inheritance before she buggered off, there is a high chance you are entitled to half because surprisingly this is quiet common and it will be put down as an asset pre-diivorce.
I know right now you are saying. " I don't want her stinking money" but when you think about it you for 20 years just split anything you brought in down the middle didn't you. I bet you got to the point where you didn't even think "mine and yours".

It is unjust that she just swans off in to the sunset with it. It is unfair on your children.

Do not sign away half this money. Apart from anything else it will piss her off.
I got 40% of low 6 figure which has enabled me to buy time for me and the kids to normalize our lives.

yottazenzen

Update on my status:

My wife and I have signed the Divorce Decree last week but have to wait 60 days for it to be finalized. We've put our beautiful house up for sale which saddens me quite a bit since I feel I've worked so hard to get what I considered my dream house and I'll now have to move to a less home.

We still haven't told our 8 year old anything other than we are moving. I've decided not to tell the wives of the other men. Mainly because one of those wives is a notorious cheater and kind of crazy and I don't think any good would come of it. She could become unstable and I don't want her freaking out in the street in our neighborhood in front of my kids and her kids. The neighbor and his wife deserve each other...both are cheating scumbags.

As for the first guy (cousin) she had an affair with, it's more complicated but essentially, little good would come from his wife knowing. I have a feeling the guy is a scumbag and will continue his cheating ways and will get busted sooner or later anyway. This affair is more sensitive because of the family relation.

My wife and I are still living in the house together and have taken the opportunity to talk quite a bit. She knows what she did is wrong, that she should've just left before having affairs. I told her I basically just think something in her brain flipped out or something; temporary insanity. I've known the woman for over 20 years and in 20 years time, you know somebody, sometimes better than themselves. I don't think this person who did these horrible things is the 'new' her. I told her I still believe there is a goodness in her and I hope to see it again sometime.

I haven't forgiven her or anything and there is no hope of us getting back together but I think we want very much to remain friends, if for nothing else, for the kid's sake. I don't want to hate somebody with all my being that I have to see as often as I will have to see her. Plus, I've been with her for half of my life. It's not easy to just turn your back on somebody even if they did something as horrible as this.

Obviously, I look at her in a different light though. It will take time to rebuild my life and my kid's lives. But it is what it is. I really don't want to be with somebody like her anyway. I told her that those things she did with these other guys were basically just fantasy and of course fantasy will always be more alluring than real life but in the end, real life always comes back. Even if she married one of these piles of crap, 5-10 years down the road, she'd realize she's married to a liar/cheater and the romance phase will probably be faded and she'll be right back where she was...having to pay bills, go to the grocery store, clean the house, etc. That's just the real world.

Her main thing was all about sex...she wanted it every day, several times a day if possible. I asked her if she would have left me if I had prostate cancer or what about when we're older and things don't even work? She said that that would be different because it wouldn't be my fault but I wonder...

I'm not saying I'm all rosy or anything, just doing better than I was a few days ago. I told her we're still a family, just a screwed up family now.

She also has never been on her own, never had a real job or anything. I feel she may be in for a rude awakening.

I look forward to meeting another woman who would not do something like this to me. I'm hoping to meet a divorcee with kids so we'd have much in common at the onset. I will be happy to have somebody to talk to at the least. I've joined some local single parents meetup groups and hope to network a bit.

keko

Definately. Im guessing the temporary comfort of inheritance money will add even further fuel to her failure.

ArmyofJuan

Don’t worry about meeting someone, I was temporarily on the market when I was 40 and it was easier than when I was in my 20s. It's weird at first but it’s pretty cool if you don’t take it too seriously and just date to have fun. Some advice, don't be serious, if you make a dating profile make it funny and don't post your life's story. The less they know about you the better (it gives them something to ask about).

Your wife is a horrible person I’m sorry to say. When you hit the anger stage (realizing that everything bad that happens as a result from this is HER FAULT) it will be harder to be nice to her which is good because she doesn’t deserve your respect.

yottazenzen

She's not getting the money until her grandmother dies which could be in a year or 10 years.

iheartlife

Rude isn't even a strong enough word for the wakeup call she'll be getting. If she's never been on her own, and she's been living in a dream house, there's going to be some gnashing of teeth before this is all over.
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TRy

Why are you paying child support then? Although you have no right to the money, it would be a big factor in determining that she would not need child support since you are getting 50%-50% custody. Stop the current divorce and refile right now. Stop being the nice guy, you are not the cheater that broke up the family. You will regret this in the future when your new wife must do without because you are sending money to your rich wife. You will also feel bad when your wife has more money (your money) to spend on your children than you.

keko

Just to add, income and asset are very different. Asset's may not be considered in determining child custody or have very little difference. He needs to check his state laws if this inheritance and the likelihood of even higher future one's will effect child support and alimony.

TRy

In an earlier post you stated "how can her friends who knew about it while it was going on, look me in the eye? These people blow my friggin mind." In another post you also said "Some of her friends and family are aware. That is part of what hurts too. Some of them knew about it while it was going on and then could look me in the eye when I saw them. People scare the crap out of me." That is what the first guy's wife will be thinking about you when she finds you that you knew and did not tell her; you will be just like all the scumbags that did not tell you. Through your children you will always be family to her, and when she finds out, I can only imagine how betryed she will feel. For the rest of her life she will rightfully view you with great contempt. Not telling her shows that you have no respect for her as a person. Stop looking out just for number one, you are better than that. She needs to know just like you needed to know.

Monroe

If you want to save the neighborhood, my suggestion would be to send letters or contact the wives, the day you move. They deserve to know.

the guy

I would expose the crap out of this. You tried explaining your self but I don't get it......I have a feeling you are making assumtion about the OMW's.

Dude if it was me I'd look into it a little more. My thinking is who cares what the OMW's do with the info...but the info should be revealed and warning other is just the right thing to do....even if they stay on the train tracks as the train wreck comes there way.

So do your kids afavor and give there mother some consequences that my give her the motivation to be a healthier person by exposing the affairs.

MattMatt