My best friend said he wouldn't be my friend if I even thought about taking her back. So i really don't have anyone to talk to about. Probably why I'm on here posting. I just feel like my happy go lucky soul has been ripped away from me, and it was replaced with pure nothingness. I don't know what to believe anymore, I don't know how I'm supposed to handle her at work now. We need to pay bills, and in vegas its 24% unemployment. So while she works on finding a new job, I have to deal with now.
Why would your best friend take such a hard line? What's his impression of your wife?
Sending a no contact letter, when they actually still will be having contact every day, with you having no way to monitor their contact, will be minimally effective, but still worth doing. She writes it, you read it to make sure it says what it's supposed to say, then you have it delivered.
You definitely, without a doubt, will get over any financial hardship that results from her leaving her job. There is a good chance your marriage will not survive if she continue to work there.
Focus on the important things in life. What is more important, your marriage that you will have for the rest of your life or your temporary financial well-being? Choose your marriage. Ask her to leave the job immediately.
Many cheaters "test the waters" with their lies. She told you it was only kissing, you didn't get too upset, but you didn't buy it, she tried telling you it was sex only once, you got too upset, now she won't tell you it was more than that.
It's theoretically possible that she only had sex once, but it's not believable, especially given that she works where other man lives and you can't account for what time she gets off work, what time she takes breaks, etc. By your own account, wife was worried that other man was going to dump her. He wouldn't do that after only one time having sex. She told him he was the best thing in her life - why would she limit sex to only one time if she felt this way? She lied to you about the initial nature of their relationship, she got a secret phone after she promised no more contact, then she had sex with him. She lied to you that she did it because you accused her, so she might as well, but then you find that she was in love with the other man, the best thing in her life, so obviously it wasn't just something she did to spite you.
She has lied to you many times already, with her words, with her actions, and with her omissions.
Describe all these circumstances to your wife, ask her if she can understand why you might have some doubt about her story, besides the fact that she confessed a kiss only and then having sex once, and then ask her if she will take a polygraph to help you get over the doubt.