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Well I was wrong to forgive about the ea and it ending. Found A hidden phone.

62K views 240 replies 51 participants last post by  Shaggy 
#1 ·
Some of you have seen my thread about my wife caught texting with a co worker. Thought i solved the, problem. Nope, she took it under ground. They've been texting and at least making out for the last month. Don't know what to do. I'm In shock.
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#180 ·
Good. You made it sound as if you were rugsweeping. That was my impression. Be that as it may, you need to concentrate on YOU. Get out and start working out, buy yourself some cool threads, start being more social. Show her a man who is attractive and who has options. I guarantee you she will change her attitude quickly and start putting extreme effort into helping you heal.
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#181 ·
And stop printing more stuff for her to read. Tell her, or better SHOW her, you are backing off for a while and focusing on YOU, instead of the marriage or her until you feel she's serious. If she wants to discuss the "how to" tell her she's not the first cheater in the world, that there's tons of books and online serious info about how to fix what she broke, tell her you only needed 15 min to find out the "scrip" you gave her. For now on she's the one to put the effort and show you she's serious about keeping YOU.

Detach and keep job hunting, man.
 
#183 ·
LOST, you're still not understanding the meaning of the word detach.
You need to do it for your own good, reading your previous post one gets the feeling that you've currently invested so much into the NC being a big hit that if she doesn't stick to her word you'll end up hurting even more
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/24796-just-let-them-go.html#post306559
Couple this with the 180 and you should be in a position where you can accept any outcome without falling to pieces
 
#184 · (Edited)
stop being passive aggressive, if you want her to take the note, tell her you want her to take the damned note. Its still her choice whether she does.

Though its all useless IMO. youre as emotionally involved in her affairs as she is. You tried recon, she cheated. It ends there. She's willing to cry n' lie, ad infinum, to get to screw her bf, while you hope and pray, for a reconciliation that's not gonna happen bro.

Let her go.
 
#191 ·
Well She did take it without me saying anything. Now I need your help guys. With this unique situation of him living in a hotel room, I came up with two ways to ensure delivery. Either she takes it to his room herself , but she records the whole process with her phone from going in the elevator, walking down the hallway, slipping it in his door and walking back and back down the elevator or she does it with me when i come pick her up tonight
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#193 ·
So I told her we would do it together when I come pick her up at 6. And she had no issue with that. The only thing she brought up was what would I do if he were to walk out or happen to open the door while we were doing this. Good question, I know shes asking because she doesnt want me to do something to get myself arrested. But Im willing to take the chance. I trust myself not to do something stupid.
 
#194 ·
So Ive read different threads about how if the WW does take the A deeper underground, are there usual methods of this to watch out for? I found a phone that unleashed all this, I doubt that will happen again if it went deeper underground. Aside from spying every day, are there any other detection techniques aside from the usual VAR's and such?
 
#198 · (Edited)
What is the point of you giving it to him?He didn't care last time and won't care this time,your wife has to be the one who wants to stop all contact.If you can't trust her that she will give himletter then how can you trust that she won't just give him letter with you and continue talking like the letter never happened.He won't give a **** about NC letter if your wife is still willing to talk to him.
 
#202 ·
One thing Id like to ask is this lingering wondering of how many times it happened. You guys know the story, it was first just making out, but later in the convo she came out and said it was sex once. Now i know everyones opinion when a bh comes on here and says their ww said it only happened once. No one ever believes it and most of the time, it turns out to be more.

But Ive asked her now every day if it was more than once and she is just so adamant that it never happened more than once. I obviously get that she may be lying, but couldnt it just have only happened once? I dont even know what im asking right now, I guess Im just venting....
 
#206 ·
I did all the same crap you are doing. It was 2-1/2 years ago I would follow my fWW around the casino and watch her after work and follow her home.

Even though she would bring home her draw reciept which showed the time she cashed out at the vault versus the time she got home I still felt the need to investigate. Thats just how I dealt with it.

But at the end of the day it was my wifes actions that mattered, the constant accountability and remorse that got us thru.


As far as details I sure got them, all of the ugly details, sure it took time and we managed to get thru them....even learn from them...like never get a penis piercing. LOL
The details were a big part of what I also needed, and so there a b!tch to get, but you can get them.

But this crap has its stages and once the *both* of you get a new job and this infidelity crap is dealt with I hope the both of you can affair proof the marriage. Just remember in order to do that you both need to face this sh!t head on. The both of you need to become scholor's of infidelity so get the tools to have a healtier marriage.

Now that the both of you know the capacity that each of you have to cheat, you will be best served by acknowledging it and understanding how to prevent it.

As far as the OM goes follow him out of the employee entrance and inform him that your marriage is very important and lossing it means lossing everything and with that you have nothing else to lose. So it is in his best interest to stay away from your wife.

I'm sure you know damb well cameras are always on you so don't do anything stupid.

It would have been cool to be upstairs watching the monitors as you stalked around the hotel. LOL
 
#209 ·
Affraid to do allitle time for asualt?

Then follow him as he leaves work and beat his butt...

Ya, I know bad advice and its your chick that has the issue, but..... confronting OM can be empowering, especially if you don't you will continue to think about him.

In all seriousness I am concerned with your appraoch and what your lady is doing to affair proof her marriage. The MC and the NC letter are great tools but there is always more that she can do to help you heal.

IMHO there is an atraction to OM that is greater then you think and on the other side of the coin here is if she looses you were does she go? Just keep you eyes out brother....this is still very raw for both of you and a corner could be turned at any time....lets just hope it the right corner for you.

Do you see any withdrawls form her affair or is just the "I'm disgusted with OM" story? It seems there should be a little depression in your WW for losing such a "good friend" if you know what I mean?
 
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