Some of you have seen my thread about my wife caught texting with a co worker. Thought i solved the, problem. Nope, she took it under ground. They've been texting and at least making out for the last month. Don't know what to do. I'm In shock. Posted via Mobile Device
You need to do the VAR and the other crap to see if this is the real deal or is she setting you up b/c the timing isn't right.
Continue the investigation not to confirm an affair but to confirm a real commitment from your wife. It wouldn't supprise me if she's telling her friends its not the right time to leave you so she stops for now.
I could be wrong and there may be some real remorse, but it still needs to be confirmed independently.
What do you mean by the timing isn't right? one thing about our marriage I never liked, was that she never took my last name. Well now, she said she wants to and show the world we are a unit. So to me that tells me its not about leaving at the right time or not. She could go if she wanted to, she and I both have plenty of outs. Posted via Mobile Device
People put their experiences here. So his may be different than yours. Only you know all the details of your relationship. Only you know her ins and outs. You know her, we don't. And because you know and love her you want to work it out. A vacation somewhere down the road would be healthy for you both. Don't rush the progress . You both can become stronger and more loving but you must pass this first. And your friend (if he is a true friend) will come around. It's your relationship not his so why would he be so affected? Sure he wants the best for you. Of she makes you happy and you both fix this issue, then that's great. Posted via Mobile Device
Write all your feelings. What would you tell her, him. Both. Write it here or on your own notebook. Let all of us read it. Or none of us. It is your health and mental stability that's important. Question your feelings. And get better. Time will make you heal either way. Go to the mall or other places just to walk around and unwind. Your going through a lot. Peace to you my brother Posted via Mobile Device
Yea, I looked at the 180, and I decided not to implement it. Some things are good for my own health, but overall it's not appropriate when she is seemingly trying and remorseful Posted via Mobile Device
I just want to take a moment and thank each of you guys. I honestly don't know what I would have done without you guys. Each and every one of you who have helped me through this ordeal has a place in my heart. Its not near over yet, and I'm sure ill have a million more comments and questions. I just wanted to make a post that wasn't about me and my problems and remind you guys how wonderful you all are.
All other betrayed husbands and wives, thank you for helping me see it may not be over and it certainly isn't the end of the world. You guys helped me to get the truth out through your past experiences.
All fws, while you guys have created an insane amount of hurt with what you did in your past, you learned from it, you grew, and you've become better people because of it. Thank you for helping me see the other side to this whole equation. Perspective is important, and its 100 percent her fault, but it takes the both of us to try this whole reconciliation process out. And without knowing what she may be going through, this process would be a million times more difficult.
Well talk about mood swings... I think I'm about to go off on my ww. I'm hitting a big anger stage right now. I was in love, had issues during a lul in the marriage, but I worked through them. I never cheated. Why? Because I was in love. She cheated. Why? Couldn't be because she was in love that's for sure. Thinking this now has me feeling like I'm fallin out of love with her. Every time I've looked at her tonight, I just feel betrayal and resentment. Posted via Mobile Device
No no no! Costa he needs this place to himself. We don't need her knowing the moves he's making or what he is saying about her. TAM is HIS resource, a safe place for him. Posted via Mobile Device
Well I told her the polygraph was a must, her response via text was " You know everything, so ill feel better that it can be proven" i think that's a good response Posted via Mobile Device
And she will have time to regain her resolve, her backbone, and her skills to turn this back around on YOU so she can get to the point of saying F no, I WON'T take the test, you're a pig - like most cheaters do when faced with a polygraph.
All fine and dandy, if she doesn't take it. I'm done. I will not lose that resolve. She's aware of how much that means to me. If she back out, then that's all I need to know Posted via Mobile Device
Offer her a chance. Think of all the questions that will help you ask her for honesty. Let her know that this is part of your healing process and if she respects you and the marriage then she will answer them even if it's hurtful. Then you can compare them with the polygraph.
If you love her and want to work on it it is also important not to torture her with same questions over and over. She will get tired of it also. And she will have a point as well because it may become obsessive/ mentally abusive.
Heal get better and live happy. Forgive her or let her go but to really fix the issue the pain from your heart must leave or you won't be happy,
With time you may decide you no longer can see her the same or you might. It may even get better just reflect and be honest with yourself
Time will help both of you decide. I'm pulling for you. If you love her, show her.
Reread your marriage vow. Let her view them. Make a nice candle light dinner and talk about what you mean to each other.
When the time is ready of course Posted via Mobile Device
We had a good day today. I went for a job interview at a non profit childrens foundation, and I think it went well so that was nice. I worked out in the gym... And The wife and I have just been watching seinfeld and locked up abroad, but mostly talking. Talked about my triggers, us, the future, she told me a story of when she got cheated on in college. Lots of laughs, some hugs, her cuddling and showing affection... Nice for my brain to have a good relaxed day Posted via Mobile Device
Sounds like you both love each other plenty. Good people make poor choices sometimes. I'm glad you both are facing this head on. Give it time day by day. Some will be great some won't. But little by little the romance and loving feelings will remain as long as both are commited Posted via Mobile Device
How is it going? It's been 5 days since your last post.
I did want to say, that I'd be very suspicious of him continuing to pursue her and fish. They went very quickly to using a burner phone to hide from you, so obviously he's experienced in ways to avoid suspicious husbands.
I don't want to see you get complacent and get burned again. If her remorse is genuine, fantastic! But the way it went underground was just too quick for a simple EA and early PA.
Watch her.
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