I hope this is the right thread to post my story. My ex wife and I have been divorced for more than 3 years now. Last night, I received a call from a mutual friend who informed me that my ex wife is critically ill in ICU for the past few days.
The thing is that I have not contacted her ever since we got divorced. We do not communicate at all. My friend just thought that I should know. Now, I am caught in a dilemma as to whether I should visit my ex or not. I have gone NC with her for so long and now to show up all of a sudden, it may complicate matters. Furthermore, I lived about 8 hours from her. Ever since we broke up, I have detached myself from her and moved out from the town that we used to live in.
Just a short background on our relationship:
We were married for about 8 years. We didn’t have any children, so that makes the divorce easier. We were both career minded people and the divorce was not financially difficult for both of us. We just split up everything equally and move on with our own life.
My wife had an EA with a co-worker. Even when she was having an EA, I did not suspect anything as we were getting along just fine. We still had our weekly romantic dinners, we went to the movies and the lovemaking then was simply incredible. However, knowing my wife, she has always been honest with me about everything. One day, she sat me down and told me about her EA. She told me that she was falling for her co-worker (OM) and they have not done anything physical yet. She did not intend to go any further in the relationship with the OM until she gets a divorce from me. That was the first time she mentioned the D word. I was devastated. I asked her what I have done wrong as her husband. She actually consoled me and said I have done nothing wrong. It was her who had wronged me. She said she just couldn’t help falling in love with the OM. I suggested MC for us but she told me that was no point as she didn’t want to remain married and didn’t want to hurt me any further.
From then on, I knew she had made up her mind and I decided to detach myself from her. Like I said, she has always been honest and good to me. To the very last day when I saw her, she gave me a long and affectionate hug. She was tearful and so was I. We said our goodbyes and we left amicably after that.
It has been 3 years now and suddenly I get this sort of phone call. I am still torn as to whether I should go to visit her or not. To be honest, I am not too keen to see my ex-in laws or even the OM (or possibly her husband now). Anyone in TAM has gone through this before? Any advice given would be greatly appreciated.
The thing is that I have not contacted her ever since we got divorced. We do not communicate at all. My friend just thought that I should know. Now, I am caught in a dilemma as to whether I should visit my ex or not. I have gone NC with her for so long and now to show up all of a sudden, it may complicate matters. Furthermore, I lived about 8 hours from her. Ever since we broke up, I have detached myself from her and moved out from the town that we used to live in.
Just a short background on our relationship:
We were married for about 8 years. We didn’t have any children, so that makes the divorce easier. We were both career minded people and the divorce was not financially difficult for both of us. We just split up everything equally and move on with our own life.
My wife had an EA with a co-worker. Even when she was having an EA, I did not suspect anything as we were getting along just fine. We still had our weekly romantic dinners, we went to the movies and the lovemaking then was simply incredible. However, knowing my wife, she has always been honest with me about everything. One day, she sat me down and told me about her EA. She told me that she was falling for her co-worker (OM) and they have not done anything physical yet. She did not intend to go any further in the relationship with the OM until she gets a divorce from me. That was the first time she mentioned the D word. I was devastated. I asked her what I have done wrong as her husband. She actually consoled me and said I have done nothing wrong. It was her who had wronged me. She said she just couldn’t help falling in love with the OM. I suggested MC for us but she told me that was no point as she didn’t want to remain married and didn’t want to hurt me any further.
From then on, I knew she had made up her mind and I decided to detach myself from her. Like I said, she has always been honest and good to me. To the very last day when I saw her, she gave me a long and affectionate hug. She was tearful and so was I. We said our goodbyes and we left amicably after that.
It has been 3 years now and suddenly I get this sort of phone call. I am still torn as to whether I should go to visit her or not. To be honest, I am not too keen to see my ex-in laws or even the OM (or possibly her husband now). Anyone in TAM has gone through this before? Any advice given would be greatly appreciated.