Re: Ex Wife is critically ill, don't know what to do
Quote:
Originally Posted by lamaga
Opinions are all well and good, but once someone has made their decision, there's no need to keep criticizing. It's a move typical of One-Ls, I'm sure you'll agree.
Sorry L. I forgot you were TAM's official sensitivity monitor and post censor. I'll shut up.
Re: Ex Wife is critically ill, don't know what to do
Quote:
Originally Posted by lamaga
Opinions are all well and good, but once someone has made their decision, there's no need to keep criticizing. It's a move typical of One-Ls, I'm sure you'll agree.
Re: Ex Wife is critically ill, don't know what to do
Update
Thank you to all who have posted. Your kind words meant a lot to me. It has been a very emotional weekend for me. My ex wife is still unconscious and I am not sure how long she will be in that state. Though she is my ex but I certainly hope she will pull through.
When I reached the hospital, I immediately went to the ICU and the duty nurse who was there asked me about my relationship with the patient. Initially, I told her, I am the patient’s friend. The nurse refused me entry as currently only close family members are allowed to visit her in the ICU. Seeing that there was no choice, I told the nurse, I am actually the patient’s ex-husband. The nurse asked me to take a seat while she checked with her supervisor.
Ten minutes later, the nurse told me that they have contacted the patient’s family members and they said to allow me to go into the ICU. I was rather nervous when I entered the ICU because I have not seen the ex wife for 3 years….I did not know what to expect. When I saw her, I couldn’t take it anymore……I broke down and cried. She was so thin and weak but she still looked so pretty to me. She had all this wires hooking up to the machines and I just couldn’t believe that she could be in this condition.
I sat down next to her, stroking her hair and then holding her hand and kissing it gently. I don’t really know what to say here but I actually miss her. As I was sitting next to her, my tears just kept flowing as it has been such a long time and now to see her like this was just too overwhelming. Luckily there was no one there at that time. I held her hand and was talking to her about how I miss her and told her I am so sorry that I did not contact her all these years. I recall the time when we first met, dated, married all the fun times we had. Somewhere along, I actually told her I love her and that was when I felt a weak and gentle squeeze of my hand. I thought she was awake but unfortunately she wasn’t. As I continued talking to her, I noticed that there were tears flowing from her eyes. I did check with the doctor whether she was able to hear me. The doctor said it is quite possible. When I mentioned about the gentle squeeze that I felt, the doctor said that it could be muscle spasm. When I asked him about her tears, the doctor mentioned that it could be an overflow of the tear gland as she has not open her eyes for quite a while. The doctor looked at me and asked me not to read too much into it and it is just a medical or physical reaction. I so badly wanted the doctor to say that what I felt was genuine.
While I was in my ex’s town (what used to be our town), I learned quite a number of things about my ex which got me really emotional. I also managed to talk to my ex in laws. I will post that later as I am really tired and I need to get some rest. It has been a long drive.
Re: Ex Wife is critically ill, don't know what to do
Quote:
Originally Posted by J Valley
Update
Thank you to all who have posted. Your kind words meant a lot to me. It has been a very emotional weekend for me. My ex wife is still unconscious and I am not sure how long she will be in that state. Though she is my ex but I certainly hope she will pull through.
When I reached the hospital, I immediately went to the ICU and the duty nurse who was there asked me about my relationship with the patient. Initially, I told her, I am the patient’s friend. The nurse refused me entry as currently only close family members are allowed to visit her in the ICU. Seeing that there was no choice, I told the nurse, I am actually the patient’s ex-husband. The nurse asked me to take a seat while she checked with her supervisor.
Ten minutes later, the nurse told me that they have contacted the patient’s family members and they said to allow me to go into the ICU. I was rather nervous when I entered the ICU because I have not seen the ex wife for 3 years….I did not know what to expect. When I saw her, I couldn’t take it anymore……I broke down and cried. She was so thin and weak but she still looked so pretty to me. She had all this wires hooking up to the machines and I just couldn’t believe that she could be in this condition.
I sat down next to her, stroking her hair and then holding her hand and kissing it gently. I don’t really know what to say here but I actually miss her. As I was sitting next to her, my tears just kept flowing as it has been such a long time and now to see her like this was just too overwhelming. Luckily there was no one there at that time. I held her hand and was talking to her about how I miss her and told her I am so sorry that I did not contact her all these years. I recall the time when we first met, dated, married all the fun times we had. Somewhere along, I actually told her I love her and that was when I felt a weak and gentle squeeze of my hand. I thought she was awake but unfortunately she wasn’t. As I continued talking to her, I noticed that there were tears flowing from her eyes. I did check with the doctor whether she was able to hear me. The doctor said it is quite possible. When I mentioned about the gentle squeeze that I felt, the doctor said that it could be muscle spasm. When I asked him about her tears, the doctor mentioned that it could be an overflow of the tear gland as she has not open her eyes for quite a while. The doctor looked at me and asked me not to read too much into it and it is just a medical or physical reaction. I so badly wanted the doctor to say that what I felt was genuine.
While I was in my ex’s town (what used to be our town), I learned quite a number of things about my ex which got me really emotional. I also managed to talk to my ex in laws. I will post that later as I am really tired and I need to get some rest. It has been a long drive.
Well done, J Valley. If she doesn't pull through, what you did will mean so much to you.
I simply cannot believe that the doctor gave you so little hope that your ex wife heard you. It's too much of a coincidence that she squeezed your hand and shed tears. Having read your post, I'm absolutely convinced that she heard all you said and reacted as she did.
It must have been so difficult for you to see her like that. It's so sad but I think it's a beautiful story. I don't mean to sound silly but I'm really happy for you and I think what you did was amazing!.
Re: Ex Wife is critically ill, don't know what to do
You know its when you hear stories like these that your entire perspective of the way the world works changes, is this twoo luw? His willingness to put himself in pain just to be with her? Her sending him emails inquiring about his health knowing that he might not respond?
World, why do you play cruel tricks on me?
Damn now I wish i was a poet
Re: Ex Wife is critically ill, don't know what to do
Quote:
Originally Posted by J Valley
Update
When I reached the hospital, I immediately went to the ICU and the duty nurse who was there asked me about my relationship with the patient. Initially, I told her, I am the patient’s friend. The nurse refused me entry as currently only close family members are allowed to visit her in the ICU. Seeing that there was no choice, I told the nurse, I am actually the patient’s ex-husband. The nurse asked me to take a seat while she checked with her supervisor.
Proof of the ever expanding meaning and meaninglessness of the word "friend."
Re: Ex Wife is critically ill, don't know what to do
Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymouskitty
I think it'd be called an EA if he desired his ex wife in a sexual way, I don't see that happening here
Part of my definition of an EA includes "prioritsing the needs of someone else over your spouse." Ergo, sexual desire is not necessary for an EA, or in any case, for "an inappropriate relationship."
And FTR, a lot of women prefer EAs because that means they get all attention and other benefits without having to, err "give it up."
477Likes
Re: Ex Wife is critically ill, don't know what to do 
