A sign of infidelity?

dixieangel · 06-28-2012, 02:30 PM

I have been married to my husband for 8 years. The last couple of years I've noticed he will come home with bruises (in spurts) and it also seems, at these times, he is distant and not as interested in sex with me. The bruises are always on his buttocks and front upper thighs. Once, it appeared he had finger tip bruises on his ankles. Also, twice these were accompanied by long scratches on the sides of his torso. He explained the scrathces as his friend's dog jumping up on him. But he can never explain the bruises. I haven't said anything, but it happened again just last week and I really want to know what i should do.

I have to add, i go the extra mile for my husband. A few times i went to his office after closing and had sex with him in his office chair and i noticed the next day he had bruises on his upper front thighs..and i realized where they came from..the arms of the chair.

I have noticed other signs, like doing his own laundry, and extra grooming. I caught him triming chest hair and he said it was to decrease the appearance of the gray. But he had never voiced this concern to me. So, i realize i have more than one sign of infidelity, but confrontation would be a waste. I know he would never admit it.

So, my question is..how do i deal with it? Its kinda hard to ignore. I had sex with him last night and i was distracted by the bruises!

AngryandUsed · 06-28-2012, 02:34 PM

Go underground. Do some detective work. Have your evidences and then confront.

Does he use computer a lot? Or a mobile phone?

There are many ways you can do some snooping to find out if anything is going on behind your back.

anonymouskitty · 06-28-2012, 02:36 PM

Get credible proof first, do not jump into confrontations without having substantial evidence as back up.

Read the newbies link on AlmostRecovered's signature

dixieangel · 06-28-2012, 02:53 PM

Thank you for the responses. Yes, he does. What do you think would be the most effective tool to find out what is going on? I've looked into devices to log what is typed into his pc...but i'm thinking a device to check deleted texts from his phone would be best. I did look at his phone the other day, and he had one text from a woman which said "lol, jackass"..and everything before had been deleted. Obvious to me that he wanted that conversation gone. Oh and last night, that woman's husband called him just to chat? Another coincidence? Anyone ever used a device to retrieve deleted text messages? Im sure that is where i'd find my answer.

Sara8 · 06-28-2012, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dixieangel

Thank you for the responses. Yes, he does. What do you think would be the most effective tool to find out what is going on? I've looked into devices to log what is typed into his pc...but i'm thinking a device to check deleted texts from his phone would be best. I did look at his phone the other day, and he had one text from a woman which said "lol, jackass"..and everything before had been deleted. Obvious to me that he wanted that conversation gone. Oh and last night, that woman's husband called him just to chat? Another coincidence? Anyone ever used a device to retrieve deleted text messages? Im sure that is where i'd find my answer.

Use duct tape to attach a voice activated recorder (VAR) under his office chair and car seat. Make sure it is taped well so it does not fall out. Or, use velcro.

anonymouskitty · 06-28-2012, 03:01 PM

if he has an iphone sync it to the comp to retrieve deleted text messages, if not there are cellphone spyware.

Voice activated Recorders, strap one in under the driver's seat of his car

A gps on the car

Check out the miles logged in the odometer and see if it matches the distance between home and his place of work

dixieangel · 06-28-2012, 03:07 PM

good ideas..thank you for sharing!

lordmayhem · 06-28-2012, 03:10 PM

I can't figure out the bruises on the ankles.

anonymouskitty · 06-28-2012, 03:12 PM

Does your hubby bruise easily?

lamaga · 06-28-2012, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lordmayhem

I can't figure out the bruises on the ankles.

Reverse cowboy?

Sara8 · 06-28-2012, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lordmayhem

I can't figure out the bruises on the ankles.

Maybe she tied him with chains or maybe she has some type of foot fetish.

anonymouskitty · 06-28-2012, 03:15 PM

Ladies, i got banned once for making light of another situation

Racer · 06-28-2012, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lordmayhem

I can't figure out the bruises on the ankles.

I was thinking a female Wookie lifting him up, upside down...

OH, and seriously. Go underground and snoop. Phone records, etc.

dixieangel · 06-28-2012, 04:09 PM

Maybe my husband does bruise easily. But to have bruises in certain areas, and in spurts, seems strange. And maybe this is tmi, but he is very aggressive and can be rough in bed. He has had me in positions that i could grab his ankles. He is also "bi curious" and has gay men friends that flirt with him. He has been hit on by men in public right in front of me! When i saw bruises on his ankles, i have to admit it occured to me it may be another man. So, again, i'd like to know if anyone has used a device to retrieve deleted texts..he does not have an iphone.

lordmayhem · 06-28-2012, 04:20 PM

Oh. In that case, it may not be an OW, but an OM. But the bruising on the ankles might indicate that he likes being the catcher...if it were an OM.