Hi, i found the site while googling and i have few questions
5 days go i used my wife's laptop while she was going to her parents house and i read the chat she forgot to close between her and my uni mate. He and I never that close or hang together but we know each other.
I was surprised to find how close they are. Like,
* he told her about what he does (its considered as kinda illegal so you wont tell anyone you dont trust)
* he called her princess
* she told him about our marriage problem
* he told her that if he was her, he would leave me
* he told her she can stay at his place if she want
* and messages like "do you miss me?" or "what youve been doing all day?"
I really dont get it ? He knows shes married to me but why he doesnt help us fixing our problem instead of saying that my wife should leave me? I mean my wife trust him and he is her friend (i never knew they were that close until i read the chat). Doesnt he want us to be happy
Hi, i found the site while googling and i have few questions
5 days go i used my wife's laptop while she was going to her parents house and i read the chat she forgot to close between her and my uni mate. He and I never that close or hang together but we know each other.
I was surprised to find how close they are. Like,
* he told her about what he does (its considered as kinda illegal so you wont tell anyone you dont trust)
* he called her princess
* she told him about our marriage problem
* he told her that if he was her, he would leave me
* he told her she can stay at his place if she want
* and messages like "do you miss me?" or "what youve been doing all day?"
I really dont get it ? He knows shes married to me but why he doesnt help us fixing our problem instead of saying that my wife should leave me? I mean my wife trust him and he is her friend (i never knew they were that close until i read the chat). Doesnt he want us to be happy
I kinda think he likes her a bit too much.
"I kinda think he likes her a bit too much"
YES -- he is on a fishing expedition and trying to get your wife to cheat on you. There is no reason for her to talk about your marriage problems with him -- she is gettin an emotional need met by him and not you.
Step up and be there for her emotionally, spiritually and physically.
You are not providing something she needs.
Talk to her -- be there for her -- and most important -- and be honest about this -- don't take her for granted.
YES -- he is on a fishing expedition and trying to get your wife to cheat on you. There is no reason for her to talk about your marriage problems with him -- she is gettin an emotional need met by him and not you.
Step up and be there for her emotionally, spiritually and physically.
You are not providing something she needs.
Talk to her -- be there for her -- and most important -- and be honest about this -- don't take her for granted.
Hope this helps and gives you some ideas.
I tried to talk to her (because she doesnt look happy lately) but she just always in a bad mood towards me. Its hard for me...
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2nd_t!me iz_best
yes, he likes her.
they may already be meeting up.
put a keylogger on her computer.
I dont think they met up already. Well, im working everyday during the day when she is at home chatting to him (if they meet up, they wouldnt be chatting). I checked the phone but i found no text at all from him. Only a very tiny bit on Fb like "where are you?" "wake up yet?"
Put a stop to it right now---you know what is there, and if you are married, there is no right to privacy, so you have every right to know what she is doing---and an EA, is not what you signed up for when you took vows---mge. has a problem, you two talk it out--and keep talking till the problem is resolved---it isn't discussed on the internet with outsiders.
You tell her you know what's going on, and either it stops, or the mge. ends----if you do not get this stopped, something will happen, while you dawdle, and this whole thing becomes a nuclear winter for you---get it stopped now---she goes NC, and you tell your so called friend, to get out of your life, and STAY OUT OF YOUR LIFE---life meaning mge.
You have very few weapons at your disposal to fight these things with---one of them being harshness, which includes the threat of D------
He is not your f*cking friend. he is trying to steal your wife. Save the text logs. Confront your friend. And ask your wife to stop discussing marriage problems with other men. That is how affairs start.
You need to get ugly with your "friend", and you need to stand up to your wife and tell her to either work on the marriage with you or go stay with her parents for a while.
I tried to talk to her (because she doesnt look happy lately) but she just always in a bad mood towards me. Its hard for me...
I dont think they met up already. Well, im working everyday during the day when she is at home chatting to him (if they meet up, they wouldnt be chatting). I checked the phone but i found no text at all from him. Only a very tiny bit on Fb like "where are you?" "wake up yet?"
You do realize that if they are chatting on Facebook, they could, technically, do that in the same room, right? And it shows up on the computer when you log on, whether you use mobile or PC. And, really, they could meet up when she has to run errands and such.
You asked if your friend likes your wife too much? Yes... but your wife likes HIM too much too!
She's not behaving like a wife!! A loyal wife would inform his husband if a friend out the moves like this, she's enjoying it. She's having a EA with this so called POS of a friend.
Keylog the PC yesterday. Save the incriminating info.
Then confront her and make your demands:
Inmediate NC email. Lifelong NC with this predator.
Full transparency from now on.
Full disclosure.
And you tell you "friend" to back off or you will denunce him to the police. He's trying to steal your wife, dude!
You need to be very decisive. Your marriage is at risk.
You will get better advice, kep posting.
He is not your f*cking friend. he is trying to steal your wife. Save the text logs. Confront your friend. And ask your wife to stop discussing marriage problems with other men. That is how affairs start.
Get to marriage counseling immediately
At the very least he's trying to get her into the sack.
Time to go batsh!t nuclear postal on both their asses. While you're wondering why your so-called friend doesn't want you to be happy he's making big plans on fvcking your wife. Some friend, huh? And she's being moody and distant? Dude, you're losing her. Get moving stat! You need to show her a side of you that she's never seen. (I don't mean getting physical or anything. Just show her that you're willing to turn her world upside down if she doesn't start behaving like a loving wife.)
Thanks for everyone for the reply i cannot really reply because its weekend and i dont want her to find out.
I did some more diggings while she was out for coffee. And i found out more messages like "dont tell your husband that im asking you to move in with me" cause he would feel bad, but he just want to be there when things go bad and my wife needs a place to stay.
And yes i now believe that he actually likes her (or just wanna sleep with her only God knows). What i dont understand is, how can they like each other if its only through chat? have anyone ever experiencing (or know someone) affair started from chatting?
So what should i do next? Should i confront her? She might deny it saying they are just friends. From the messages i read, he tried to be objective though saying he cant really judge cause he only know her side of story.
Thanks for everyone for the reply i cannot really reply because its weekend and i dont want her to find out.
I did some more diggings while she was out for coffee. And i found out more messages like "dont tell your husband that im asking you to move in with me" cause he would feel bad, but he just want to be there when things go bad and my wife needs a place to stay.
And yes i now believe that he actually likes her (or just wanna sleep with her only God knows). What i dont understand is, how can they like each other if its only through chat? have anyone ever experiencing (or know someone) affair started from chatting?
So what should i do next? Should i confront her? She might deny it saying they are just friends. From the messages i read, he tried to be objective though saying he cant really judge cause he only know her side of story.
"Just friends". In your gut, you know better. This is an EA (Emotional Affair). Please. Take the advice of those that have suffered through this here. We know.
How can they like each other? Because they both put on their rose colored glasses and their "version" of what their lives are like and respond to the fantasy. It's a fantasy. An escape. He provides the flirting and encouragement and attention that your wife apparently craves. And, since he has offered her a place to stay with HIM, then she in now firmly "in the fog" thinking about leaving you and going to him. It's real to them.
There is no reasons in the world for her to be confiding her marital issue with another man who has offered her a place to stay. Think about it. You must act. Now. Confront. Expose. (But don't tell HOW you know). You'll be hearing denials. You may need to maintain your secrets (that you learn here) about keyloggers, etc. But yes, this will continue until you expose and stop it.
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Does my friend like my wife? 
