I understand, and agree.
I don't think he is actually having an affair with her. Their FB messages (only about 4 each) seem friendly. The phone records indicated that over a week long period, they only chatted on the phone about 2 hours. And sent about 50 text messages, mostly her though. It's more than I'd like, but I know that between me and the OM, we texted a LOT more than that, and he only lived 10 minutes away, not 3 hours like the OW so he has only seen her 4 days max since he only can go there on the weekends. Plus like I said, he had no work from Thursday-Monday and he chose to leave late thursday night and came back Sunday evening. I know when we were dating and he was in the army, he'd fly to TX and we'd spend every hour possible with each other till he had to go back to TN. So he cut the trip 1.5 days shorter than he had to. Plus he said there wasn't any emotional or physical stuff happening.
But yes, this is still cake eating if he intends on doing it later. I will see what this Chaplain has to say tomorrow, because I still very much want to make the marriage work. However, my crazy stalker-phone-blowing-upper attitude that I had this weekend has to be over. I am not asking him to choose to be with me forever, but I am asking if he has a little bit of hope for us like he says he does, to be willing to accompany me to MC (which he is) and not hang around other women in large amounts (which he IS doing and shouldn't at this time).
I honestly don't think he could go through with a revenge affair. But I might be completely incorrect as he was in thinking i'd never cheat. Speaking of that, yesterday I was running late for work and I accidentally left my wedding ring on my kitchen counter (I always still wear mine, he hasn't been) and I got approached by 3 men during my 7 hour shift. I told them all I was separated and I cheated on my husband and I am trying to make it better, and it is disgusting how they ALL said that "it's your husband's fault you cheated, don't blame yourself. Can I have your number?" I was extremely repulsed. I know they were just saying it to get laid, but that is just disgusting to me. Never leaving my ring at home again :(
Who are these guys? You told 3 random guys of your problems in marriage? I think the word has spread around about you, if you are getting so many propositions.
Costa, i believe i meant to say chase me through contact. He said that when I was blowing his phone up, it almost seemed not worth it to even give us a chance, so I stopped right there. I should've just kept my nose out of the phone records and such, because that put me in freak-out mode and pushed him away. I think he enjoys being in control of when we talk, and that is fine with me. Plus, with me not contacting him and the only way we talk is if he initiates it, it let's me know how often he wants to talk and that he is talking to me solely because he WANTS to talk to me. I think it's easier this way, at least for me. But apparently it's easier for him too since this is what he wanted.
Yeah, that whole "being 100% honest and if you don't tell him something, that's lying by omission" also p*ssed him off. I remembered a piece of information that I deemed necessary to tell him, that he hadn't asked about, and I told him and be BLEW UP. Cussing and screaming, all that. A brief synopsis, during the deployment they get to come home for 2 weeks. In the middle of this two week period, the OM had the brilliant idea (complete sarcasm) to show up at my house at 3am and ask my husband to help jump his motorcycle battery... When the doorbell rang, i immediately knew who it was and i went into the bedroom to pretend to be sleeping cause I had no idea what the OM was doing. The next day I texted him asking WTF was he thinking, and his answer was "well you talk so highly of your husband, so I wanted to check and make sure he is really a good guy for you." I was about to kill the OM. Anyways, months later my husband was still asking all the neighbors if they knew this man because apparently the OM said he lived down the street. So I figured since the show-up bothered him so much and he was still so confused about it, it was my job as the WS to inform him that was the OM who completely disrespected him in his own house.
So after my husband finished cussing and screaming he politely asked me to never divulge anything unless he asks. And he's not really asking anything.
Anyways, I hope he doesn't do the RA but if he did I would obviously forgive him. But he is such a good and honest man I don't think he could lower himself to that like I did. He may be young as well but he is a very, very good man. Which makes me feel even more retarded. But later tonight I have to go to my old neighborhood to watch my friends dogs and I will stop by the house and drop him off some of this awesome brisket I am making, then leave. Cause I know he's probably eating like crap.
What the f*ck is wrong with you? You still continued the affair with him after that? Yuck!!! Pretty sure you found it hot then!!
Who are these guys? You told 3 random guys of your problems in marriage? I think the word has spread around about you, if you are getting so many propositions.
Plus she doesn't really need to get into that much of a detail about her life with three strange douches that made a point of showing how some men don't think twice about banging another guy's wife.
I am a dog trainer at Petsmart. These were random customers. They each asked in their own corny way if I had a boyfriend, I said no, I am married. 2 of them asked why I wasn't wearing my wedding ring. Looking back, now I should have just left it at "I forgot it" but it does feel nice to talk about my current huge self-inflicted problem. I have before forgotten my wedding ring, and never had this problem. It's almost like i wreaked of separation or something, however I wasn't flirty in the slightest, nor showing any interest. ** In fact the last two guys, I was currently crashing after my energy pill wore off and don't see how my attitude was attractive at all. I was grumpy/sleepy.
The first guy ended up talking to me for an hour, the other two were about 25 minutes or so. The first guy was the most persistent. I do not know these people, I was just doing my job. But yes, they were all douches and trying to take advantage of my situation.
And no warlock, i did NOT find it hot when he did that. I was infuriated. He swore up and down he didn't show up to do anything, he just wanted to meet my husband (that is really weird, and that was obvious to me even in the 'fog'). He said if I had been the one to answer the door, he would have left though... which is confusing. Makes me question his motives.
I was currently crashing after my energy pill wore off and don't see how my attitude was attractive at all. I was grumpy/sleepy.
They weren't evaluating your personality. In fact, they didn't give a crap about it and you could basically be brain dead.
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He said if I had been the one to answer the door, he would have left though... which is confusing. Makes me question his motives.
It's bull****... He went there to size your husband up and to try and build up courage to do something. Then chickened out and came up with some sorry ass excuse.
I got approached by 3 men during my 7 hour shift. I told them all I was separated and I cheated on my husband and I am trying to make it better, and it is disgusting how they ALL said....
You need to learn about healthy boundaires. There's nobody's bussiness you current state. You rejects them politely. Period. No over inform anyboy about personal things, even less clients, specially no males. This info is only for trusted female friends, counselors, etc.
I have a friend who divulge all kind of personal info to total strangers, from the one who's trying to sell you insurances to the butcher. Poor boundaires.
You need to learn about healthy boundaires. There's nobody's bussiness you current state. You rejects them politely. Period. No over inform anyboy about personal things, even less clients, specially no males. This info is only for trusted female friends, counselors, etc.
I have a friend who divulge all kind of personal info to total strangers, from the one who's trying to sell you insurances to the butcher. Poor boundaires.
I must say Stephanie that if I found out Morrigan was discussing such intimate details of our life with total strangers I would seriously question her boundaries not to mention her respect for me and the marriage in general.
And no warlock, i did NOT find it hot when he did that. I was infuriated. He swore up and down he didn't show up to do anything, he just wanted to meet my husband (that is really weird, and that was obvious to me even in the 'fog'). He said if I had been the one to answer the door, he would have left though... which is confusing. Makes me question his motives.
That did not stop the affair though, did it? So it wasn't infuriating enough for you. You realize what the OM did, right? He was rubbing the affair in your H's face. He was cuckolding your H. Imagine someone doing it to you.
Yes warlock, I completely understand and see it now after you said that (sorry if that comes off as sarcastic, I am dead serious). Didn't see it that way.
I do have an issue with trusting people too much. I try to think that people are mainly good and have mostly good intentions. These men seemed fine to discuss this with until they brought up exchanging phone numbers/hanging out/ect. They weren't in my training classes though. Inbetween classes my job is to sell training classes and help customers find things in the store. One started off with looking at kennels, the other dog food, the other floor cleaner. I am extremely open, I never viewed it as something negative (however I would never discuss this with someone in my classes, but if they approach me in an unprofessional way, I feel I can be more open about my normal self and less sales-person-y).
And honestly, most of my friends do not know about the affair, even with my husband exposing it. I just don't feel like telling EVERYONE yet because I feel it's none of their business. However, I guess telling strangers is a little therapeutic. Even if their intentions aren't the same as mine.
Jeez, Steph wtf are you doing allowing yourself to be chatted up for 2h by 3 random guys in your workplace and talking about your unhappy marriage.
Do you just crave attention however inappropriate?
If you do not even see anything wrong with that I'm afraid you are clueless and do not have a married mindset at all despite the best efforts of a lot of people here to help you
For all you know hubby may be sending them to check you out
Now you sound 17 not 22
I know I'll be one of those you ignore because I'm not soft enough with you but you're heading the right way for hubby to tell you to f*** right off and don't come back.
The first guy ended up talking to me for an hour, the other two were about 25 minutes or so. The first guy was the most persistent. I do not know these people, I was just doing my job. But yes, they were all douches and trying to take advantage of my situation.
An hour? 25 minutes? I'm not sure how old you are, but here's a free lesson on shooting down men: an unambiguous, simple NO gets the point across best.
- Pretty lady, are you up for a coffee?
- No, I'm married.
- Why are you not wearing a ring then?
- *polite smile* Your dog is so sweet!
Anyway, telling a man for an hour all reasons why you don't want to date him is only going to persuade him that you don't really mind. The mere amount of time you allotted to this mating game speaks volumes.
Plus she doesn't really need to get into that much of a detail about her life with three strange douches that made a point of showing how some men don't think twice about banging another guy's wife.
True, Costa. And yes, it is so rampant, the people I hear say things like... "Man, if I could get the play, we'de be sacking in minutes..." or other horrible remarks I hear men say about married women. I am suprised more cheaters do not get the bullet! Maybe they do, eventually. I always hear about someone getting popped or missing, and people asking..."Why, it seems so strange?! I don't know, but personally, I do not thinnk the OM's back would be safe with me, no statute of limitations, either!
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Re: I want to die right now 
