I have my husband's facebook password and him and his ex-best friend's ex girlfriend were meeting up last week 3 hours away for drinks to talk about my affair.
He went to Ft. Worth again yesterday and I checked his FB account and this same girl sent him a list of hotels in Galveston to check out. I called him and asked if they were a couple and he said no but we will talk about it later because they were together right now.
So i texted him and he said they are NOT a couple but he enjoys talking to her and that the hotel thing was because him and his best friend and his wife were looking into going to galveston for a short vacation and him and this other lady were thinking about going with.
I am so hurt. I know I caused this and I had the affair, but the fact that he's doing this within 12 days makes me wonder if this marriage was even that important to him to begin with. I feel like killing myself honestly, mainly because i am trying everything I can to be the best wife possible and I'm about to move out of this apt and into my old house with him and force myself to be there. I am so hurt. I feel like an idiot for saying that but the tears are coming down so hard right now and I am in a crazy amount of pain thinking of them out to dinner together right now. I am calling an on-post chaplain cause I don't trust myself right now.
He said they were not a couple, take him at his word. In order for him to figure out if he still wants to be your husband, he has to try and live his life. That includes going out and meeting new people to see how it feels. There are consequences to the actions people take, this is the consequence for your infidelity. The man you love, who is 100x more hurt than you are right now, is with someone other than you.
A few days ago you said you were willing to do whatever it took. Now you are talking about killing yourself. Show some backbone and tough it out. He has given you no reason to doubt his word, so do what you have to do. Pray with the chaplain, pray by yourself, meditate, reflect on what you did and how it made him feel. Use this time to try and understand the situation and how serious it actually is.
The fact that he is still talking to you at all is a gift. Try and see the positive in that.
When I say I am going to force myself back into the house, it's not that I don't want to be there. I want more than anything to be there. He told me if I want any chance at reconciliation that I need to move out, so I got an apartment the very next day.
I believe that they aren't a couple but they are planning on getting a hotel room together on a vacation we planned together. I am sure by whatever time this vacation happens, they will be in the same room.
The chaplain said we need to go to counseling together immediately and he wants to do it monday. I don't know how I can get my husband into counseling with me.
Seriously? I have moved out like he asked, I have given him an account that has my phone gps on it so he can monitor me whenever. I have gone to a counselor and one who I thought wasn't good enough and so I went and got a second counselor who is highly recommended to work with us. I've gotten books on ways to make this better. I have come to you guys for any other kind of help to make this easier and nobody could answer it for me. I AM DOING ALL THAT I CAN RIGHT NOW.
The chaplain said we need to go to counseling together immediately and he wants to do it monday. I don't know how I can get my husband into counseling with me.
Maybe he wished you'd of tried counseling before an affair?
Seriously? I have moved out like he asked, I have given him an account that has my phone gps on it so he can monitor me whenever. I have gone to a counselor and one who I thought wasn't good enough and so I went and got a second counselor who is highly recommended to work with us. I've gotten books on ways to make this better. I have come to you guys for any other kind of help to make this easier and nobody could answer it for me. I AM DOING ALL THAT I CAN RIGHT NOW.
It still might not be enough. You have to come to terms with the real possibility that he may not want to stay married. If you do stay together it will most likely take him years to get over it. Right now you are going to have to find some backbone. Long hard road ahead. I'm not trying to be mean but, you paved it now walk it.
He is protecting his heart in some sense. No, I don't mean to say that he is right. Maybe you guys should discuss exclusivity and dating other people in your talks. I think he still considers himself single.
453Likes
I want to die right now 
