Hi-Unlike most threads I have read here I have been unfaithful; in the emotional sense once, during my marriage. This was 6 years ago and I confessed to my husband that the other man had kissed me (which he doesn’t believe, he thinks I initiated the kiss) within a month of the incident. I also confessed that we had feelings for one another but it was extremely short lived as the OM was going through a divorce and my husband was actually threatening me with a divorce prior to my EA. I was in a very dark and sad place, my husband had always been harshly critical and judgmental of my past (i.e. I did drugs and had been with a girl before). This OM accepted all my previous flaws and we had a great appreciation for one another but I never intended for it to turn into anything physical. So like I said it was one kiss and absolutely nothing else (he basically laid one on me one night he was drunk) So here we are almost 6 years later and my husband still has huge trust issues and wants me to take a lie detector test. He won’t tell me what questions he has so I am perplexed by that alone. Also I am very very nervous about these things not being accurate, needless to say if you Google it there are so many stories about the inaccuracies. So should I take it or not? Really I feel like he should just come out and ask me what it is he wants to know bc I have divulged all the ugly details so what’s left? I do know that he thinks I have been unfaithful since and that couldn’t be further from the truth.
The most accurate results are gotten from yes and no questions.
IMO, you need to comply. Refusing to take the polygraph may seem like red flag to me.
With that said, if you were in love with OM, or have lied about anything to your spouse you MAY FAIL DUE TO NERVOUSNESS.
So, why not fess up to everything now and then you can likely safely take the polygraph.
It's usually the half lies that trip people up on a poly.
For example if you were in love during the affair but lied and told your husband you weren't, when they ask the question are you in love, even if you may now no longer be in love with OM, you will be nervous.
So prior to the poly fess up about any possible conflicts.