My wife and I have been together for 8 wonderful years. We have 2 children who are 6 and 4. There have been a few ups and downs but nothing really major. Until recently. My wife thought it would be fun to do kickboxing courses to get into shape. I explained to her that do to my increased work schedule I would not be able to attend the course with her, but I would pay for a sitter so that she can go alone. She agreed. My wife ended up going to a facility that teaches kickboxing,krav maga,and brazilian jiu jitsu. The main instructor "james" is supposedly one of the best in the world. From what I hear he trains the local police SWAT team in unarmed hand to hand combat and he also trains both united states and british special forces. Everyone loves this guy because he is a part time firefighter and is still listed as a military contractor with Blackwater. Needles to say, he's a pretty scary guy. So anyway after a month or so into my wifes training, I noticed my wife acting differently. She was less passionate with me, and she would come home at 10 or 11pm. Her training was over by 8pm so I questioned her as to why she comes in as late as she does. She explained to me that she has been really stressed out lately and the instructor "james" is a shoulder she can cry on. Well come to find out, james has a degree in psychology but he only has his BA so that does not make him a clinical therapist. I asked her what was it that was bothering her and she said that she isn't happy and needs more excitement in her life. I offered to pay for a vacation but she declined. I poured out my heart to her and told her that if there is anything that I need to change to just let me know. Then one day we were taking the kids to get some pizza and some idiot cuts me off and pulls into a parking space that I had been waiting for. I was upset but I just found another space to park. She got irate! Saying that I'm not man enough for her and that james would have beat this guy up and down the street etc. She even made the comment that she married a wimp. Well I'm 5ft 8 and about 165 lbs and james is 6ft 2 and built like a bulldozer. So of course his chances in taking down a random guy in the street is much higher than mine. Then came d day. I was supposed to be out of town on business but my trip ended early because the final meeting was cancelled. I had went out and bought a beautiful diamond bracelet to suprise my wife with as well as gifts for the kids. When I pulled into the driveway I saw a strange car in the driveway but I didn't think anything of it because she has girlfriends that come over on a regular basis. When I came into the house it was dark and really quiet but I could hear the tv on very faintly in our bedroom. I also head a few gasps and whimpering noises. When I poked my head in the door I saw an image that will haunt me for the rest of my life. My wife and james were in OUR bed naked, and she was on top of him riding him. Her eyes were closed and she was making weird noises. A let out a shriek out of both shock and panic. She immediately jumped up and screamed. Then james who is still laying down on his back just calmy looks at me and says "get out". I was enraged. I told him that this is my house, I pay the bills so he needs to get out RIGHT NOW! He replies by saying "I'm not gonna tell you again, now get the F out of here". I don't know what came over me but I grabbed a book from the shelf I was standing near and flung it at him as hard as I can. It missed him but he jumped off of the bed and attacked me like a wild animal. He punched me 2 or 3 times and I got really dizzy and fell down. I think I blacked out but I'm not sure because it all happened so fast,but I know my knees were shaking and I couldn't stand up and I threw up. My wife went and got an ice pack and helped me into the bed. She was crying saying she is sorry but she dosent love me anymore and that she loves him and they are going to be together. She said that I can still live at the house so I can still see the kids everyday but I have to sleep in the guestroom. Her father owns our house so I really don't have much of a say so. I did not sleep at all that night. She left with james and did not come back until the next day. She and james picked the kids up from her parents house where they had been staying and brought them home to me. When james walks in he has a weird grin on his face and he looks at me and says "no hard feelings right". Then he sticks his hand out to shake my hand. I just glare at him and ask him how he would feel if I told other members of the community who highly respected him as to what he was doing with my WIFE. He replies "I wouldn't do that unless you want your kids to grow up without a father". "Just to let you know I have enough experience to easily hit you with a .50 cal rifle from over 500 yards away." At that point I told him he is threatening me and that's a felony. He just laughed and said " yea its my word agaist yours, who are they gonna believe, me or a little pee on like you?" I told him I might be a pee on but at least I have morals. He just brushed past me and went into the bedroom and shut the door. My wife of course followed. Since then he has been over here almost everyday. I have been in the guestroom. I haven't eaten or slept and I'm extremely depressed. She already has given me the divorce papers to sign but I am just holding on to that last bit of hope that she is in the "fog" and this man is a really bad man. He gets thrills out of wrecking other mens lives. My dilema is that I know I have to move on but I don't know how. HELP!! Posted via Mobile Device
1) Inform the police that this man has made threats against your life.
2) get a voice activated recorder and keep it on your person anytime he talks to you
3) expose the hell out of them both-all his employers,police prescient, her family
4) file for divorce and find a new place to live ASAP, I don't know how you could put up with the status quo.
Do you have a lawyer? If not, you need to get one quickly. This psycho OM should NOT be anywhere near your children. And even if your W's father owns the home, would he approve of a psycho around his grandchildren?
This OM is clearly dangerous and I agree with the poster that said you need to buy yourself a couple Voice Activated Recorders and get this idiot on tape for your own protection.
I'd bet money that one day he's going to put his hands on your wife too. What is she even thinking?! She's fine with OM beating you up? Unbelievable. I'm sorry you're dealing with such a horrific situation.
I agree and talk to a lawyer ASAP, expose to her parents and if you have to take out a restraining order on him. She can't have him in the house when you are there. I don't know what state you are in but since this is your residence it doesn't matter that her parents own the house, she can't just kick you out.
Please be careful, I think a lawyer and a counselor is your best bet along with maybe going to a domestic abuse place and seeing if they can help you with filing orders and staying safe. She is allowing someone to abuse you.
I'm so sorry, she sounds like such a cruel, awful horrible woman. Posted via Mobile Device
Also find out if your state has court records online, get as much as you can on this man. He surely has a criminal past. You need to protect yourself and your kids. If you have the money talk to a lawyer about doing a full background check. Posted via Mobile Device
Research the OM, does he have a criminal background? Also get a restraining order so he can't come near you, the house, or the kids. Posted via Mobile Device
I don't think he has a criminal background because he still has a security clearance. I will be honest and say I am afraid to expose him because what I know he is capable of. Even if I did try to go to the cops they wouldn't believe me because this guy is always extremely polite and professional in public. A VAR would do me no good at this point because he hasn't threatened me since. He's actually been really cordial to me lately. He was BBQ some burgers and ribs last weekend and actually went out of his way to offer me a plate. Which I declined. I don't want to leave our house because then I may lose any custody to my kids. At this point in my life they are my main priority. And to his credit he does not interfere with me and the kids. I just wish that she could snap out of this fog and see this guy for what he is. He's not a woman beater but he sleeps with multiple women I know for a fact. When he finally breaks her heart I know she will come running back to me, but why do I have to wait?! Posted via Mobile Device