Ok, on the off chance this entire thing is not b.s. (my radar is REALLY going off, but will give benefit of the doubt)....
Go to a freakin' radio shack dude. There is a microphone that fits in your ear. You plug it into your VAR, put the mic in your ear, and the phone up to the ear with the mic in it. Easy.
As for the rest of it...stop being a puzzy. You can avoid confrontation without being a puzzy. The correct answer when he told you not to talk to your wife, and she wouldn't talk to you would have been "get bent and mind your own business". The correct thing to do when you walked in the house and he said "there's the man of the hour" would have been to just stop, look at him, smile a knowing smile, wink, and say "you have no idea". You're walking on thin ice? Response of "and you have already crashed through and don't even know it".
He's going to come find you? Tell him to do so. WTF is he going to do? Assault you in front of your children? Witnesses. Take the kids? Child stealing. You are the father, only the court at this point can take the kids from you. NOBODY else without court direction. She cannot direct just anyone to take the kids from you. Phuck, she cannot direct you at this point when to bring them home herself.
Grow a phucking pair for christ sake. You don't have to have a confrontation, but acting like a mouse in your own home is pathetic. Act like a man, and let the circumstances take you where they may. You don't threaten, you don't start a war of words that will end a fight, but you need to CARRY YOURSELF AS A MAN.
see just like that it would have been over. One shot one kill". Then he starts telling me that he's looking right at me and it takes him less than a second to squeeze the trigger. I tell him if he's looking right at me, what I'm I doing right now?
My response? "Okay Rambo, you think that lousy piece of azz is worth killing someone over, you're dumber than you look, but have at it".
I drove to the nearest police station and just sat in my car. I really was in a daze. My head was spinning. A few minutes later I get a call from him and he says "well aren't you gonna go inside to report me"? Then he starts laughing and says I wouldn't even make it to the front door.
Stop running scared. Stop being intimidated by some wannabe badd azz. It's too sad that not only does he have your wife bullchitted, he's got you the same. Be a man and prepare to defend yourself if needed, and let the chips fall where they may. Take legal action where appropriate and at every opportunity. Document everything in a journal. If you're really that scared, document everything in a new email account a relative also has access to so that if anything happens, the police have every last bit of info they need.
This guy, if he's real, is a freakin' joke. Guys who have REALLY been in the chit do not continually profess about being a bad azz and about how they're going to kill you. You know how you know who the real ones are? They won't say a phuckin' thing until it's too late. If they do say anything, it's going to be a look you won't mistake for anything else, and a subdued warning. And anyone with any brains does not go around threatening people. They just act.
I ask him what the fvck does he want from me and he just says. "Truce". Keep your mouth shut and leave her alone" I say fine you can have her I don't want her, I only wanna see my kids. He says ok from now on when you come over don't say 1 word to her and she won't say one word to you". I agree.
You are rolling up in the fetal position and letting another man dictate to you how you act with your wife and your children in your house. Are you that afraid of an azz beating that you have no shred of pride or self respect? Until the day you are served with a RO or told by a court to leave the house, you have every right to be there and do whatever the hell you please, as long as it's not illegal and / or violent.
You have MORE than enough to get a restraining order. JUST GROW A PAIR AND DO IT. It is YOUR HOUSE until you are legally thrown out. I don't give a chit who owns it, you have established residency there. You do not have to leave. You have every legal right to be there. And as such, you have every legal right to get a restraining order against him to keep him away from you since he has already assaulted you and continues to threaten to do so.
JUST OUT OF PRINCIPLE, no matter if I was planning on divorcing and moving on, I WOULD MAKE HER LIFE MISERABLE AND NOT FACILITATE HER PHUCKING ANOTHER MAN IN MY HOUSE WITH MY CHILDREN PRESENT.
Get a restraining order, and have him served. Move back into your house. Make her evict you. Take back your home field advantage. Keep a VAR on you at all times, and the next time she calls the police and makes a false claim of abuse, show it to them, and have her arrested for filing a false report.
DUDE, this stuff is easy, and you're making it hard. If your lawyer is advising you to continue to act like a puzzy, you need a new lawyer. You're letting another man push you out of your home. KNOCK IT OFF. The point is not that you want her (if you do, you're freakin' insane and a shell of a man), but rather not facilitating them treating you like a puzzy and doormat. You're making it easy for them. What, are you going to light the candles next to the bed and bring them wine in bed next? WTF?
Manning up is not about taking this guy on toe to toe. It is about not acting like a mouse in your home and in front of your children who will look to you to see how a man acts. Do not do anything to provoke, but stand your freakin' ground in all ways. If he assaults you as a result, he goes to jail.
"Truce"?!!!! Good lord....
I'd rather live a day as a lion than a lifetime as a sheep.