Be careful and ahead of her game, she might get a protection order on you which will not allow you to return to the house (bad) nor contacting her (might be good). That's what my STBXW did to me ... told the police I hit her ==> domestic violence ==> protection order.
She is living since 3 months in the house, together with the OM (!!) which is in my name only, which I am paying mortgage and utilities for .... plus driving a car which is in my name and I am paying for ... while I am staying in cheap hotels and rented basements.
All what it needed was saying "He hit me", without any evidence (well, the OM confirmed what the said ...)!
And in regards to her dad, forget him and the rest of her family ... they will always side with her, she is the daughter. You can't win. My STBXW is a known serial cheater, but her parents are her biggest supporter...
So I transferred half of my money into another checking account this morning. She has mobile banking so whenever there is any major transactions with the account she gets a text alert on her phone. She calls me and asks if I did it and I tell her yes. She starts yelling and saying that I am selfish and taking food off of the table for my kids. I tell her no I'm just not going to let her dictate what I spend my money on from now on. She hung up on me. Then I get a call from her dad and he starts telling me that I'm immature and I need to grow up. I asked him what he would do if he were in my situation and he replies" I would never be in your situation because I am responsible man and I take full accountability for my own actions". I told him I recognized my mistakes by not being there for her but she won't let me prove that I'm all she needs and more. So he says "well you prove that by not acting like a child and taking money out of the bank account just to be spiteful". I honestly didn't do it to be spiteful. I did it because I wanted to start separating myself from her. So now I look even more evil than before while she's being treated like the damsel in distress. Go figure. Posted via Mobile Device
Why is your wife running to daddy for everything. I think you nailed the reason why your wife is the way she is. She has daddy's little girl syndrome. Anything she ever did was okay cause daddy would take care of it. I am willing to bet her father has never made his little girl suffer. Even now I bet she is spewing bs venom and her father soaks it all up and his perfect daughter is never at fault.
I think your best bet is to stop talking to both of them. When you do, tell them like it is. Stop being nice to either of them. If they are not on your side. They are part of the problem. I hate to say it but you are literally at war now. Don't hold back, don't yield, stand your ground emotionally, and fight back.
If her dad calls you again just tell him that if his daughter hadn't decided to bang someone other than you we wouldn't be in this mess. Also tell him that this is none of his business and if he wants to complain do so you your wife. Tell him if she can't talk to you and feels like she i going to run to daddy. that she can stay with him and you are done dealing with him this is between you and your wife. Then hang up the phone.
Why is your wife running to daddy for everything. I think you nailed the reason why your wife is the way she is. She has daddy's little girl syndrome. Anything she ever did was okay cause daddy would take care of it. I am willing to bet her father has never made his little girl suffer. Even now I bet she is spewing bs venom and her father soaks it all up and his perfect daughter is never at fault.
I think your best bet is to stop talking to both of them. When you do, tell them like it is. Stop being nice to either of them. If they are not on your side. They are part of the problem. I hate to say it but you are literally at war now. Don't hold back, don't yield, stand your ground emotionally, and fight back.
If her dad calls you again just tell him that if his daughter hadn't decided to bang someone other than you we wouldn't be in this mess. Also tell him that this is none of his business and if he wants to complain do so you your wife. Tell him if she can't talk to you and feels like she i going to run to daddy. that she can stay with him and you are done dealing with him this is between you and your wife. Then hang up the phone.
She's the typical spoiled, entitled princess. That's why they're living in a house own by her dad. Of course, daddy is going to defend his little girl, right or wrong, no matter what.
With that sort of entitlement, this marriage was doomed from the start. What the princess wants, the princess gets.
I have narrowed it down to two lawyers. Honestly I have a hard time trusting lawyers because yes they are sharks but they make a living by capatilizing on others misfortune. Wayward spouses do nothing but help the betrayed spouse to put money in these lawyers pockets. This whole process is so expensive, I'm going to be in serious debt after this. One of the lawyers asked me do I have a PI. How the hell can I afford a PI??? Seriously. I stopped by the house on my lunch break to see the kids and she asked me if I was coming to get my stuff. I told her that technically I still live here and I will come and go as I please. She responded "why don't you just grow up". I told her that I am grown its just so hard to believe I was married to a 5lut after all this time. She then said that its not her fault she fell in love with someone else and as humans we can't help who we do or don't fall in love with. I asked her why would she let herself even go that far if she was married with a family. Her response was "I was hurting". I told her that I would have done anything to help her past the pain if she only would have communicated with me. Now we have two kids who will grow up with split parents. Her response was "who's fault is that". Is she really blaming me for all of this? I think she is so guilty that she can't think straight. Posted via Mobile Device
... I think she is so guilty that she can't think straight. Posted via Mobile Device
I don't believe in this. That is blame shifting. My STBXW tries the same (as I heard from friends). She did not show any remorse nor conscience. A cheater has no respect, no loyality, no morals
I stopped by the house on my lunch break to see the kids and she asked me if I was coming to get my stuff. I told her that technically I still live here and I will come and go as I please. She responded "why don't you just grow up". I told her that I am grown its just so hard to believe I was married to a 5lut after all this time. She then said that its not her fault she fell in love with someone else and as humans we can't help who we do or don't fall in love with.
I would have as little to say to her as possible, Jason, and I'd document every single transaction with her.
You really don't need to be hearing her excuses right now because, in reality, she has none. Married people don't place themselves in positions where they can "fall in love" with someone else.
I have narrowed it down to two lawyers. Honestly I have a hard time trusting lawyers because yes they are sharks but they make a living by capatilizing on others misfortune. Wayward spouses do nothing but help the betrayed spouse to put money in these lawyers pockets. This whole process is so expensive, I'm going to be in serious debt after this. One of the lawyers asked me do I have a PI. How the hell can I afford a PI??? Seriously. I stopped by the house on my lunch break to see the kids and she asked me if I was coming to get my stuff. I told her that technically I still live here and I will come and go as I please. She responded "why don't you just grow up". I told her that I am grown its just so hard to believe I was married to a 5lut after all this time. She then said that its not her fault she fell in love with someone else and as humans we can't help who we do or don't fall in love with. I asked her why would she let herself even go that far if she was married with a family. Her response was "I was hurting". I told her that I would have done anything to help her past the pain if she only would have communicated with me. Now we have two kids who will grow up with split parents. Her response was "who's fault is that". Is she really blaming me for all of this? I think she is so guilty that she can't think straight. Posted via Mobile Device
You will never win this WAR by arguments. Only QUICK actions will help you come out of it. Best of luck for that. Its never too late.
now that you don't have to pay rent to dad you will have money. your kids needs anything, buy it and keep the sales slips. this will show a judge you took care of your kids. the house is dads, so let him collect rent from her and pos. go to fl. statutes and constitution, civil pactice and procedure. you will find what you want to know on dissolution of marriages. it say in 63.031 no dissolution ofmarriage is from bed and board, but from the bonds of matrimony. but you REALLY want to put yourself in a situtiation where you can be bodily harmed by dad or pos. so get you own place and start moving on
You will never win this WAR by arguments. Only QUICK actions will help you come out of it. Best of luck for that. Its never too late.
And why half the money transferred? Why not full?
I wasn't trying to get into a war of words with her but I just need CLOSURE. Why did she do this? What did I do to deserve this?? Sure I wasn't perfect but why take it this far?? I seriously can't move on mentally until I have complete closure. Posted via Mobile Device
Your WW isn't very smart about who she is cheating with. As a trainer he is likely already cheating on her with other women. The guy is such a looser that the best job he can get is contracting for personal training etc? Don't exect him to have a lot of cash to support her, or even offer her basic things like insurance etc.
Once you dump her onto him, he'll be dumping her for some other idiot married woman.
Post a couple of warnings about the place they met online such as on yelp naming the OM, warn other husbands about this guy. Then send a letter to the club owner notifying him about the reviews.
At this point one of best things you could have happen is the OM or her threatening you, that way you can get an RO against them. Posted via Mobile Device
Why did she do this? What did I do to deserve this?? Sure I wasn't perfect but why take it this far?? I seriously can't move on mentally until I have complete closure. Posted via Mobile Device
You will never get an answer to "Why did she do this". No one does. Don't be too hard on yourself - you had very little to do in her behavior. Not every unhappy spouse looks for outside sex for happiness.
Go back to your original thread and reread the advice given by all posters. Now you will read it with different mind-frame.
After speaking with a couple of lawyers with all due respect to women, this whole "womens rights" issue has gone way too far. Seriously this country is on its way to hell. I basically have to spend thousands of dollars out of my hard earned money just to PROVE that I'm a worthy father for my kids, but she is already assumed to be a good mother and dosent have to spend a dime. Wtf. I couldn't give a **** about OM right now. Nows its just about my kids and my dignity. God forgive me for saying this but if this woman got hit by a bus right now and died I wouldn't give a ****.I have been the bigger man and have taken the high road all of this time only to be ****ed over by my wife and when I try to get advice from someone who wouldn't judge me I end up being called a "troll" etc. Dude if u don't believe my story then get the **** off of my thread. Seriously you don't have to be here. Go read a book or something. I'm not here for your amusement. And for those who are truley trying to help thank you. Please excuse my language but I am really stressed right now. Posted via Mobile Device
Jason, just read your original post over the weekend. To be honest I had hoped your story was the work of a troll, because it is one of the worst stories I have ever read here and I am sorry you are going through it.
I am about the same size as you and I keep replaying your confrontation with the OM in your bedroom in my mind, thinking of what could have been done. I would be shopping for a pistol if I didn't already have one.
At this point I think your only option is to pursue a speedy divorce and get this over with quickly so you can get on with your life. Your wife has been blatantly disrespectful to you. You need to let her go and NOT take her back. Honestly, the chance of her and this OM living happily ever after is slim to none and their relationship will likely be short-lived, in which case she will be back at your door. PLEASE DON'T TAKE HER BACK.
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Re: Update jason h 
