Talk..talk...talk!!! A good marriage has good communication! Be careful not to be too accusatory when you talk to her. Try to be open minded and LISTEN to what she has to say. IMO lots of woman are curious about that scenario... I have been...but I would never actually do anything. Maybe she has been mentioning things here and there just to see how you would react, or maybe even because she does want to talk about it.
As for the panties in the pocket, and the response she gave when you asked her about it....that one seems as though there is a story behind it....I would ask some specifics on that one!
Please reaad the details and give me your opinion:
* Why do you need to be sterilized when I got a vasectomy? Because you are having sex with others.
*Can I see your time card for the nights you stayed out, not coming home for the night?I think you weren't working
*Why do you have very little sexual drive. When you tell me about intimate sexual things with your friend? Because you are already sexed out with her and/or her boyfriend.
*Why are you always tired?. Because sex makes you tired.
* You told me that your friend got her pubic hair removed completely. Why? you no longer talk about sexual things between me and you. Only her.
*You told me how your female friend told you that she wanted to have a threesome but that her boyfreind does not want toAgain you talk about threesomes. See the first question up top. Why do you want to get fixed?
* You told me that your female friend was making fun of a "hickie" I left under her breast (the trick is that for anyone to see that "hickie" my wife would have to remove her bra). For anyone two have seen that hickey, you would have had to have your bra off with her. Why did you have your bra off with her?
*I was doing laundry and found that my wife had put her panties in her pants pockets, When I asked her what had happened she hesitated for a few seconds and said "I have never failed you". There was no reason for you to have taken your panties off, unless there was something undneath some wanted to get to, and you let them.
* My wife told me that she thinks her friend is bi, I asked why and she said that her friend told her that she liked my wife's tights. You obviously, told me this to ease me into the idea of you having sex with her. And you want an open marriage, don't you.
It is all obvious to me,
What do you think?
Your wife is parsing words. If she says she has never failed you. It may because she is meaning with a man. And you simply did not delve deep enough. She is obviously cheating with someone. As with other situations, I believe that the direct approach is best. Take her, sit her down, and tell her out right. point out the very things that you posted hear.But when you do point them out to her, phrase them like questions. And then put the answer in. I will change your quote to give example Make her sit down and come up with some other explanation right there. I firmly believe you have cheated on me with either your friend or your friend and her boyfriend. I am giving you one opportunity to be honest and come clean.
I would also put one more point in. She seems to be guilt ridden. Tell her you will not live this way, with secrets between you. Tell her she has this one opportunity to be honest and save her marriage. If you do not come clean. Know this, when I find out what is going on, and I will find out, instead of a counselor, I will be seeing a divorce lawyer. Your gut is right. Go with it. Do you have children?
My spouse cheated on me, so I speak from experience. You have many things which don't seem right. Everyone can see she is cheating. However, you don't have enough "proof" to have that sit down talk with her yet. When dealing with a cheater, you need very specific facts. Otherwise, they just continue to deny the entire matter.
I agree with initfortheduration 100%. You don't have to have full proof to have that heart to heart, I wish I would have sooner. When I finally did and he denied it, I knew it in my heart and things just weren't right between us. This isn't a court of law, its a relationship and right now you aren't trying to convict her, only find out what is wrong and talk so you can prevent anything more from happening and save the marriage. If she knows you are trying to work it out and save the marriage, she may end up being honest with you. Good luck!
AZ is right, saying that I'm right (LOL). Seriously, I think she sounds like she is riddled with guilt. You need to blow the lid off of this. I believe that she is carrying on a lesbian affair with her friend. The affair would be bad enough, but its the lying that is poisoning your marriage just as bad. You need to get up in her grill and not let off until she confesses. YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART WHAT IS GOING ON. IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AS THE ONLY ONE WHO IS CARING FOR YOU MARRIAGE AT THIS TIME TO DEAL WITH THIS SITUATION.
Thanks all of you for your answers. I agree qith those that say that first, I must hard some hard and direct proof.
I forgot to say that her female friend also gives her clothing and accesories, for no specific known ocassion. Also, during that female friend's birthday party, my wife told me that she did not want to stay ther until late beacuse she has been told that her parties always en uo in orgies. Also, during that same birthday party, her friend gave a toast in which she mentineod my wife and said:"Whom I have to live life"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the #$%^&*, what has happened that I still do not know????
I asked my wife, in a joke like manner (to see her reaction), when was ou threesome going to happen, she said that she was not like her friend and she would not do such a thing.
It is hard ofr me to believe that something has occured, but that facts are there annd one thing is what I thin, or wish, and the other are the undeniable facts.