Would getting my friend to speak to my gf and tell her we are just friends help? Maybe my girlfriend needs to hear it from her Posted via Mobile Device
Again you obviously haven't read that many threads. I remember a couple that did just that. While they were secretly meeting up and shagging the heck out of each other.
__________________ evidence gathering thread the lie and the truth
There is nothing noble in being superior to your Fellow man. True nobility is being superior to your former self.
--Ernest Hemingway--
Just a few question:
In they years you and friend are hanging out; did she have a boyfriend? If so, did she spent the same amount of time with you while she was in those relationships? Does she have a boyfriend now?
Are you your friend's best friend/primary source of emotional support?
Lord Mayhem, you know that picture of the cake eating wife that you post from time to time -- do you have one with a guy eating the cake? Because this is clearly what the OP is doing.
Not true at all, how can you have an emotional affair with a friend Posted via Mobile Device
Quote:
Originally Posted by Count of Monte Cristo
I rest my case.
BOOM! Nailed it.
Seriously... OP, I hope you are yanking out chain because this is nutty.
Flip it: How would you feel if your girlfriend was best friends with a heterosexual guy she finds attractive who you have told her repeatedly that you aren't comfortable with their friendship?
Would you be ok with that? Be honest. Would you also be ok knowing that her attractive hetero guy friend told her that you shouldn't be picking out friends for her after you've voiced your opinion?
Do unto others.
Notice every single person in this thread has told you the same exact thing, men and women alike.
It is interesting this thread as the OP is not filling in much information.
How much does he see this friend? During the weekdays; on the weekends? Do they have other friends in common, and therfore, it becomes even more difficult for the OP to integrate his social life with his gf.
Does the friend ever have a bf? Go on dates with other men? Does she expect the OP to pay for their "outings?" Does the OP expect his gf to pay for their entertainment?
I just finished the book "Not Just Friends." The one new piece of info that I got from that book is that a partner might stray for many reasons, one of them being that the straying partner may feel that he/ she is giving TOO little to the relationship.
It might be that the friend in this scenario is more demanding than the gf and the OP gets off on rising to the occasion.
It is interesting this thread as the OP is not filling in much information.
How much does he see this friend? During the weekdays; on the weekends? Do they have other friends in common, and therfore, it becomes even more difficult for the OP to integrate his social life with his gf.
Does the friend ever have a bf? Go on dates with other men? Does she expect the OP to pay for their "outings?" Does the OP expect his gf to pay for their entertainment?
I just finished the book "Not Just Friends." The one new piece of info that I got from that book is that a partner might stray for many reasons, one of them being that the straying partner may feel that he/ she is giving TOO little to the relationship.
It might be that the friend in this scenario is more demanding than the gf and the OP gets off on rising to the occasion.
Not to mention his need to have them be friends in order to make things easier on himself.
I can't quite put my finger on why they aren't good friends by now, like I've said they have different interests, and just have different personalities. I have tried to include my gf more but they both don't seem comfortable when the other is around. My friend went a bit funny with me when I first met my gf, but that was probably down to the fact that we spent less time hanging out, a guy would react in the same way if his friend suddenly became less available. Posted via Mobile Device
this may have already been said as I haven't read through the whole threat yet but I just HAVE to say something regarding the part I bolded.
You cannot be so dense as to honestly think it's because you were hanging out with her less. If she did in fact "go a bit funny" it's because she wants to be your girlfriend, and instead you ignored her and went to someone else, and yes she will be jealous if you hang out with her less because she thinks you should be with her and NOT your current g/f.
Based on everything you've said so far, this friend of yours wants to be more than just friends with you, and you either have noticed or have blown it off.
Women can be placed in the friendzone too, and it seems this is what happened.
Lord Mayhem, you know that picture of the cake eating wife that you post from time to time -- do you have one with a guy eating the cake? Because this is clearly what the OP is doing.
It's not like that though, why can't a male and a female just be good friends, she has never told me that she has feeling beyond friendship Posted via Mobile Device
I am going to be dead honest here and tell you a story.
Because they can't. I had a friendship exactly like the one you're talking about. We had the same interests, got along perfectly, we were essential carbon copies of each other just different genders.
His girlfriend HATED me, and she had every right. See I did the exact same things your friend is doing. I got upset when I found out he had a girlfriend, I told him multiple times that it's not up to her to pick his friends (yes she told him it's her or me), I got upset when she would call or text when we were hanging out, I was horribly jealous of that woman. I hated her, she hated me, we both had our reasons.
Would you like to know how that story ended? I'm married to that man. He had no idea that I had those feelings for him for YEARS, seven years to be precise, until I finally fessed up. He was just like you..."she can't see me as anything more than a friend", "we're just good friends" blah blah blah. He was wrong, and so are you.
Edited to add: By the way..I STILL hate that woman.
the other possibility here is that the friend may not want to date the OP, but simply likes yanking his chain and being able to have a eunuch in her space.
My fiancé's EA certainly liked the fact that he was a walking credit card.....to the point that although he only got an invitation to her 30th b-day party the day of, she had no problems texting him at 11pm asking "Why didn't you come?" I should also point out that 11pm in London is closing time, the time that the bar tab needs to be settled.
It was a couple weeks before that that my fiancé offered to send her an NC letter. That was new to me and I wasn't sure. I think the b-day incident went a much longer way than any NC letter to lower his affection for her.
__________________ evidence gathering thread the lie and the truth
There is nothing noble in being superior to your Fellow man. True nobility is being superior to your former self.
--Ernest Hemingway--
Hey guys, just back from work, thank you all for your advice, maybe I have to start looking at why I feel the way I do, my head has obviously not been screwed on, and I feel terrible that my gf might feel left out. Every one of you is saying I can't expect to have this friendship, it's killing me I might lose my friend though, I have a strong bond with my friends. I understand it's not an everyday situation here. It's tormenting me Posted via Mobile Device
Hey guys, just back from work, thank you all for your advice, maybe I have to start looking at why I feel the way I do, my head has obviously not been screwed on, and I feel terrible that my gf might feel left out. Every one of you is saying I can't expect to have this friendship, it's killing me I might lose my friend though, I have a strong bond with my friends. I understand it's not an everyday situation here. It's tormenting me Posted via Mobile Device
Why does it torment you? Does not this friend have other friends besides you? Does she date? If not, why not? You said yourself that you aren't involved with her.
On the other hand, do you love your new gf? Committed and monogamous relationship? Does she not meet your needs on her own? Is something missing from this relationship? If not, why do you need the both of them?
You really need to ask yourself why this is really "torment" for you to choose between the two of them.
Why does it torment you? Does not this friend have other friends besides you? Does she date? If not, why not? You said yourself that you aren't involved with her.
On the other hand, do you love your new gf? Committed and monogamous relationship? Does she not meet your needs on her own? Is something missing from this relationship? If not, why do you need the both of them?
You really need to ask yourself why this is really "torment" for you to choose between the two of them.
Question really is which one can you live without?
__________________ evidence gathering thread the lie and the truth
There is nothing noble in being superior to your Fellow man. True nobility is being superior to your former self.
--Ernest Hemingway--
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Re: Girlfriend dosnt like my friend 
Re: Girlfriend dosnt like my friend 
