Is it ever right to stay together for the kids

serenity 02030 · 07-16-2012, 03:42 PM

All my instincts say no. My story is in my other thread. I know its been three days since i found out, and all the awful details.
I am still in shock. I just want to go back in time. I dont want the kids to hurt as much as me. This would keep us in our home, he makes much more than me, and i could never take care of this house on my own. I know he wants to be here so badly and wants to do anything i want and say. this alll so sad and confusing
Thanks so much!

Mavash. · 07-16-2012, 03:45 PM

I don't know your story but I say follow your instincts.

Hope1964 · 07-16-2012, 03:47 PM

DO NOT stay together 'for the kids'. I left my first husband when I had a 4 month old, a 2 year old and a 4 year old. Just left with nothing. Best thing I did in that relationship. When current hubby was cheating he was kicked right out the door that very day.

Your kids will KNOW you're miserable. They already do. Of course it's going to be hard, but what worth having isn't??

If my hubby did what yours did he'd already be gone.

Talk to a lawyer about ways you can stay in the house too. He cheated - he should have to pay for the house still so you and the kids can stay there.

mahike · 07-16-2012, 03:49 PM

My take is the kids always come first. If you cannot stay in the marriage without hurting the kids deeply. Your abuse, their abuse, Dad is a poor role model. Maybe you should get out.

In most cases with kids I would say try to R but like I said no abuse!

Tell us about your husband and tell us what happened

anonymouskitty · 07-16-2012, 03:50 PM

serenity, you're still in shock luv, just let it all sink in and don't make any decisions right now. A few more days and the initial shock of discovery will recede and your heads going to clear up just a bit, this will help you to make more concrete decisions.

Perhaps you ought to go on a holiday somewhere for a few days.
And do consult a doctor because you're probably experiencing intense anxiety at this point.

badbane · 07-16-2012, 03:50 PM

only if you think that you can eventually love and trust your husband again. Otherwise why expose you children to a loveless marriage.
If you want to reconcile it should be for yourself. If you are hating your husband you kids will take that with them into their futures.

Hope1964 · 07-16-2012, 03:51 PM

Here's her story

left heartbroken by husbands affair

costa200 · 07-16-2012, 04:05 PM

Kids are worse off in non working marriages than with stable divorced parents that share custody. I get this from their school performance and my communications with the parents. A non-working marriage with all it implies puts an horrible pressure on the kids. Many can't cope.

Kids of balanced divorced parents usually only have trouble in the exact year of the divorce.

Count of Monte Cristo · 07-16-2012, 08:16 PM

No.