Following up on my previous post here A tale of emasculation.
this needs it's own thread. As it transpired today, the affair with another woman was simply BS. We went out tonight, got a baby sitter, and decided we would talk it through, see where we where headed and try and look at all the angles. Now it went well initially, but took a turn when we where discussing what to do after our current drink.
She said well do you just want to go home, because I'm not...pretty shocked, I stood up and told her I would leave, and in a tone of voice that I will never forget she said, 'ha you won't leave me' with that I left, walked away, hoping she would follow. Like a whoss, but aware she had no money I text her that I would pay for her taxi home. I got on a bus to find a hotel, in agony. She text a few times, and stupidly I got off the bus, and we met on the corner. Went and had another drink elsewhere and the conversation ended with me walking away stating if you want me, follow, if you don't, don't.
She did come, but in no hurry and waddled over. We walked in the direction of our home, and talked more, she broke down and was all 'I love you, I want to make it work' etc.
NOW cue a text message....she said it'll just be her friend (double barrelled name), she pulls it out her pocket, glanced at the screen and said 'yep just double barrelled named friend'. I saw it to, she quickly back peddled and said another friend. That's when the red flags came up good and proper. I asked her why she lied about who it was, and she denied she did, it was pathetic, but not as pathetic as me, I begged her to show me the message, she went with the 'I'm not showing you every text that I get, I can't live like that' but given what she had told me, and the blatant lie, I would of assumed it would of been appropriate.
I told her that I know there's more to it, and pleaded with her to tell me, that it was killing me, and it wasn't fair, she swore black and blue, there was nothing (that's the worst part for me) This went on for some time, in the street of all places.
I knew she was hiding more from me. I was in a tremendous amount of pain, and I turned to walk away, she would of let me too, I turned back to her for the last time, ran and asked her one last time, in all my vulnerable glory.. still denial, then out of nowhere, ego perhaps, or desperation i don't know, but I pulled her close and we went old school kids in a park, we ran toward home to follow through.
As we where running I told her to text the baby sitter, tell her to get ready to leave as we where close to home, and needed privacy. Out comes the phone, pass lock, and yoink, now I had the phone, she literally turned and ran away.
I looked at the screen - guys name - read it and there where a few 'where are you babe' and one that she sent him, while I had left the bar 'on my own, town or not x' there you have it. She was stringing me along, ready to fall back with this other guy, half happy I had left.
I had to be very careful not to let the last 7 years of being treated like a ***** come out, and get angry, but instead I sought answers. I kept calm (somehow) and I came home, said goodnight to the sitter, and text him, saying he's welcome to her, and thank you, ****ing another mans wife isn't on though' he text back and apparently she told him we where divorced. We exchanged a few messages, and then a phone call, he told me it was going on for 7 days, and he was extremely apologetic.
This means that she has had sex with someone else, I actually feel pretty good, like a weights been lifted, my stomach is cramped, and I can't sleep a wink but at the moment, I'm ok. She has access to my bank, (unable to stop the card) and she had taken 60 from it shortly after she ran off. She's been gone hours now, and I don't know if she'll even come back, or god only knows what mood if she does.
I'm worried that the feeling of being re empowered with all that she had taken from me since I met her, won't last, that I'll end up a crying mess again, but one thing is for certain, my marriage is well and truly over. I don't know how to process that. Posted via Mobile Device