Wife cheated 6 years ago and just found out??!!?
Hi forum, I dont usually use a forum for anything, but I have come home from work early today and am home alone and just lost!
Wife and I have been married 5 years, have 2 great kids and things have been perfect! My wife has been having issues with some friends of ours and they have been blaming her for this and that - nothing serious, but things that to anyone else she would stand up for herself and really 'let em have it'! But these so called friends she is letting them walk all over her.
Well yesterday it came out. Wife and I had a terrific night out without the kids and a well earned sleep in. Next minute the wife is crying and she eventually tells me that she wont stand up to her friends because they are "blackmailing" her. Wife then proceeds to tell me that 6 years ago she kissed one of my friends a couple of times (I had the mongrel as a bloody groomsman too). These so called friends bullying her knew about this and are using it against her so she cant stand up for herself.
Wife went on to tell me that this OP back then was there when wife and I were having troubles. She swore on the kids lives it was never more than a kiss and it happened a couple of times. I'm 99% sure I believe her.
I was a bad drinker back then and most times when I had a few I would go "searching" for an argument with the wife just because I was nasty! I will freely admit I "emotionally abused" her and am not proud of that. I have since then changed and am very proud of who I am today. We had our first child and he was about 6 months old when all this happened. I know if we didn't have our little man my wife and I would not be together now, as he is the reason we both worked extra hard to stay together.
The last 4 years all the hard work we have put into our marriage has really paid off, I love my wife to bits and I will do anything for her. She is the same towards me! We had what I would class as a perfect marriage!
Then this! I tried to tell her yesterday that I am fine with it, but the mind has been playing tricks on me all last night and this morning. Pictures of them kissing running through my head etc. This was 6 years ago - Should I be hurting like I am today?? Should I just forget about it and move on, or is this giving the wife either the "my husband doesn't care" or "I got a free pass" type scenario?
I don't know if asking for details of where they kissed, how they kissed, how long were the kisses, what was their hands doing bla bla bla.... Will getting answers to these help, or paint an even more vivid picture in my head! The OP is long gone, haven't seen or heard from him since the wedding to be honest. Guess this kind of makes sense now as to why he just went off the radar.
I dont want to leave my wife because I love her so much and our kids deserve a solid family life, but what do I do?? Do I just give it time and things will get better?
I suppose the other part that concerns me is the fact that if it wan't for these friends bullying her, my wife would never have told me! That hurts alot too!