you should see the horoscopes that she is supporting her fantasy on
Horoscopes.... wow I see no hope. She's totally lost.
Once you serve her call OM and tell him to behave with your kids, inform him of their shortcomings, the frequent ilnesses, etc. Then call his parents to welcome them to the family. That's the way to scare the OM. Making it real so he feels like running Usain Bolt style in the opposite direction of STBXW. He might change university.
You need WIDE exposure to really shock her. You say she is lying to everyone and treating them like crap, well this will explain to everyone her erratic behaviour. What you need to do is change IC an MC, you are not helping her, your kids, or yourself letting her remain in this state.
REMEMBER, you have to be ready to lose your marriage to save it. and your sofe hand approach like many others have fail time an time again. Many BS have returned just in the last few weeks after rejecting the wisdom given here. Some found the A went underground, while others WW was in false R.
So you also need to be making a list of the friends and family to expose to. Exposing in MC will have her leaving there ready to do damage control with these ppl. "Oh he is saying that bc I asked for a D". Th minute she walks in with the kids, you should be on the phone or going to talk to ppl in person.
I just wrote my first draft of a confrontation letter that I will use to keep on point when the time comes. It was cathartic.
I think I need to further plan my life without her. We share a car, and a computer for instance.
The ironic part is that her parents had a *terrible* D, and she thinks we are going to be friendly, and friends at the end. A DIY D. Really? Please!
Delusional. When my W and I were in deep trouble, even before her EA, she had this same delusion, that we would still all have Thanksgiving dinner together for the kids, that we would still be friends, etc, if she decided to divorce me. I told her flat out that wouldn't be possible. It's another form of cake eating.
Shes in her fog. When she gets back from her vacation you should have her served with real divorce papers to knock her back into reality.
Listen to the others here, the wife you know has left the building for a self stylized cougar who thinks a 22 yr old manwh*re will be her rock because a internet/text horoscope is telling her so. The amount of sense that sentence made is parallel to your wife's state of mind at the moment.
The upcoming days will be rough and you must prepare for them with aggressive action so if the divorce comes, you won't be in a horrible situation like paying her alimony while she lives in your house with her boy toy
OHH boy. a new twist. this is a paste of part of a conversation that I had with a friend yesterday on FB. I am looking for feedback. needless to say, I am a little confused, and am not going to act on anything impulisvely. I am, however going to confront my wife on thursday. which I have begun to prepare for.
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Tuesday, I was talking with my sister, and therapist (separately), and sort of came to the realization that our relationship (Wifeand me) was heavily based on dysfunction. and that she likely will not be able to face the pain that she is in , which would be required to have a healthy relationship and reconcile. I am happily facing my pain, and enjoying the growth. So I sort-of mentally to her let go, *accepted* the high likelihood of divorce, actually, that I don;t want to be with her... sadness and freedom!
Yesterday (Wednesday), I had offered to give a friend of a friend a tour of my work. my friend had told me that her friend was very into [my field of work- retracted here to protect my Identity]- a fellow [my field] lover. So I offered to show her around (I hadn't met her- this was just a friendly gesture to a friend of a friend). Well, when she arrived, wow. instant sparks. we clicked. It was both a contrast to the healthy respect that I have been missing my my marriage, and just an affirmation that someone cool can think what I do is neat, that I am neat. We had lunch after the tour, ostensibly to talk about work stuff, but it was more like one of those conversations that cover everything, that you just don;t want to end. like a great date...
I realize that I am hurting, and this in not the time etc. My judgement is not so clear right now. but then on the other hand, I am feeling something that I have never felt before. usually, when someone new likes me, I think "why?" and recoil. this time I just want to know more about her, and share my self with her. she is very interesting to me... we only spent a couple of hours together, but I could not stop thinking about her. I had a dream about her.
the universe works in mysterious ways.
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when I think about [her], I smile. when I think about the other day when we met, i smile. i think about a new detail of our conversation, and I smile.
my therapist and another friend agree that it is good that I can recognize and be open to these feelings. I find it very good that I can feel that someone has positive feelings for me, and that I did not recoil. (especially someone that I think is cool and am attracted to). typically, I think," why does this person like me? what do they want from me? they must be desperate. better withdraw a little." on the other hand, if someone does not show interest, I have been attracted to that, wanting to impress them. this shows me that I have indeed exorcised some demons. it feels great.
I just wrote my first draft of a confrontation letter that I will use to keep on point when the time comes. It was cathartic.
I think I need to further plan my life without her. We share a car, and a computer for instance.
The ironic part is that her parents had a *terrible* D, and she thinks we are going to be friendly, and friends at the end. A DIY D. Really? Please!
BSD,
She is in the fog. There is no such thing as a friendly D when infidelity and children are in the mix.
Patience.
Make a plan. Stick to that plan.
ANd nail her when she is home with all the evidence.
Plus if you want to try to save your marriage I would expose to everyone (friends and family) at the same time you are confronting her.
It leaves her isolated and then bombarded with the families inquiries as to what the hell is she doing/thinking.....
And look at KanDo's suggestion seriously. Having her served when she walks in the door makes a serious statement that you will no longer tolerate her behavior.
One good thing, at least her suitcase is packed already.
Delusional. When my W and I were in deep trouble, even before her EA, she had this same delusion, that we would still all have Thanksgiving dinner together for the kids, that we would still be friends, etc, if she decided to divorce me. I told her flat out that wouldn't be possible. It's another form of cake eating.
I agree. It's another form of cake eating,
My STBEH is an only child. He told one counselor I was his family.
Well, he thinks post divorce that we can still be friends.
Well, I don't feel the same. I don't hold on to friends or family who stab me in the back repeatedly.
They get one chance to screw up and after that, I wake up to reality.
It is another form of cake eating.
He talks about how good I took care of him and how I always worried about his health and cooked healthy meals and nursed him back to health when ill, with nutrients and herbs and such.
I think he thinks I will still take care of him that way post divorce.
Exposé her first to others then do the rest. Confronting her first is only going to a bunch of lies coming your way and drama. First you need to expose and knock out her support system so she can't lie to you and run to them. Posted via Mobile Device
Serve her with divorce papers as a part of the confrontation. Send her the message you are moving on, that she's losing you, rock her world now she believes at chargue.
well IMO you should do the right thing. Let your D be finalized and over and done with before falling head over your heels. The last thing you want to do is tarnish this new relationship with mishandling the trainwreck of a marriage.
__________________ evidence gathering thread the lie and the truth
There is nothing noble in being superior to your Fellow man. True nobility is being superior to your former self.
--Ernest Hemingway--
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Re: need some support please!! 
