Wife having an affair with Co Worker
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Coping with Infidelity Relationship recovery from the destructiveness of infidelity.

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Old 07-23-2012, 04:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Wife having an affair with Co Worker

We been married since 1989, and i love her very much from first day we got married. We both same age 45 years of age. Two days ago my wife was checking her email late at night. Next morning I woke up to check my email account but she forgot to log off her account and I thought i was my account. So when I click on email, i notice someone typing dirty and asking her to move in with him. Then thats when I notice it wasnt my account. It was my wife account and was her and another guy exchanging emails. . I read it it all, my heart felt like it stop beating and I got numb all over. The wife who i love so much was having an affair. I trusted her with all my heart and soul. Their emails were full of X rated sex talk to each other. She try telling me it was harmless flirting with a guy she met few months ago on dating website. Then she tells me it was a customer she met at work. She is a cashier for department store. And that they exchange emails addresses and only chat in email only. She is a cashier for department store.I then reply back to that guy asking " who are you ? Why you having affair with my wife?".
This is when i found out the truth. She wouldnt tell me truth so i had to get it from the guy she having affair with. He told me didnt know she was married and that she told him she was SINGLE. He said she doenst wear her wedding ring. He told me they been dating for past 2 years. And that he work with her at the department store. And they been going out for lunch and dinner, and sometimes shopping. He so upset because my wife told him she was single and now wants nothing to do with my wife. And he told me sorry, if i have known, i wouldnt never started dating her. My wife been telling me one lie after another. She tells me they never slept together while they were dating for past 2 years. Should i believe that she never slept with him ? i am so confuse, hurt, numb, and going nuts in my mind. I cant stop thinking about it. Been 2 days now and i still feel strong pains just like when first found out 2 days ago. Someone help me please! How can i deal with my broken heart.

I EDIT THIS BECAUSE I FORGOT TO ADD. SHE CLAIM WHILE THEY DATING FOR PAST 2 YEARS, SHE ONLY KISSED HIM ONCE ON SIDE OF CHEEK.

Last edited by Ricky2424; 07-23-2012 at 04:27 PM.
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Old 07-23-2012, 04:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife having an affair with Co Worker

They slept together.

Edit: to add, when she thought that it would be better to claim it was a guy from a dating site she was on a few months ago, that kind of says just how bad it is.

Don't believe the OM didn't know she was married, that's very standard OM lies. You should find out if the OM has a wife or gf himself. Don't believe anything she or he tells you unless you verify it.




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Old 07-23-2012, 04:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife having an affair with Co Worker

Been there, just the reverse.

Stay positive....things will get better....promise.


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Old 07-23-2012, 04:22 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife having an affair with Co Worker

Ricky,
I am so sorry your are here. Nothing can prepare you for the devastation of an affair. But, does it really matter whether she was sleeping with him? She has been dating another man for 2 years and saying she is single.(oh! and I am sure she was physical. Would you date somebody for two years with nothing going on?) If you don't have any kids, get out now. This is a broken woman. There are so many wonderful women out there to take her place.
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Old 07-23-2012, 04:23 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife having an affair with Co Worker

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ricky2424 View Post
We been married since 1989, and i love her very much from first day we got married. We both same age 45 years of age. Two days ago my wife was checking her email late at night. Next morning I woke up to check my email account but she forgot to log off her account and I thought i was my account. So when I click on email, i notice someone typing dirty and asking her to move in with him. Then thats when I notice it wasnt my account. It was my wife account and was her and another guy exchanging emails. . I read it it all, my heart felt like it stop beating and I got numb all over. The wife who i love so much was having an affair. I trusted her with all my heart and soul. Their emails were full of X rated sex talk to each other. She try telling me it was harmless flirting with a guy she met few months ago on dating website. Then she tells me it was a customer she met at work. She is a cashier for department store. And that they exchange emails addresses and only chat in email only. She is a cashier for department store.I then reply back to that guy asking " who are you ? Why you having affair with my wife?".
This is when i found out the truth. She wouldnt tell me truth so i had to get it from the guy she having affair with. He told me didnt know she was married and that she told him she was SINGLE. He said she doenst wear her wedding ring. He told me they been dating for past 2 years. And that he work with her at the department store. And they been going out for lunch and dinner, and sometimes shopping. He so upset because my wife told him she was single and now wants nothing to do with my wife. And he told me sorry, if i have known, i wouldnt never started dating her. My wife been telling me one lie after another. She tells me they never slept together while they were dating for past 2 years. Should i believe that she never slept with him ? i am so confuse, hurt, numb, and going nuts in my mind. I cant stop thinking about it. Been 2 days now and i still feel strong pains just like when first found out 2 days ago. Someone help me please! How can i deal with my broken heart
Hi Rick sorry you are here based on her track record I wouldnt believe a thing she says. What do you want to happen ?? do you want to rebuild your marriage or divorce ?? you need to decide that the best thing you can do right now would be to take care of yourself maybe start some hobbies or do things you like to do and start exercising and eating healthy ie taking care of you its best not to make any rash decisions at the moment and keep coming back here and sharing


Good Luck
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Old 07-23-2012, 04:23 PM   #6 (permalink)
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They slept together.
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Beat me too it, yeah op, they have been having sex for at least 2 years now
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Old 07-23-2012, 04:24 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife having an affair with Co Worker

First and for most you need to deside if this is a deal breaker for you or if you will alow her to make it right and work on the marriage.

That dicision will dictate the next steps you take.

do you guys have kids?
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Old 07-23-2012, 04:27 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife having an affair with Co Worker

What a lying piece of %$^&. Don't believe one word she says. Of course they had sex!! Get tested for STDs.

Get control over her email account, phone and check her messages(Check the sent folder and the trash folder.). If she has a smart phone, take that too. You can retrieve deleted texts. Your aim here is too get as much truth as possible since you cannot trust your wife for it.

There might be other men too. Keep your eyes open
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Old 07-23-2012, 04:27 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife having an affair with Co Worker

I'm so sorry you're here. Did you not think to ask the guy if they had sex? He seems to be upset that she was married. He may give up the details if you asked him. Especially since they work together and it might look bad for him if you told their boss.

Your wife is deep in this thing and you need to do a 180 on her now. She gets nothing but the declaration that you are going to file for divorce unless she totally comes clean, stops all contact with the guy, and gives you access to all of her communication such as email, facebook, cell phone etc. You can put 180 in the search and find how to do it. There are guys on here that have been where you are. They will give you a lot of advice: follow it.

I don't know if your marriage can be saved but I can tell you that doing nothing will ensure that it will not be.

Keep coming back. We have been there and want to help.
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Old 07-23-2012, 04:28 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife having an affair with Co Worker

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Originally Posted by Ricky2424 View Post
We been married since 1989, and i love her very much from first day we got married. We both same age 45 years of age. Two days ago my wife was checking her email late at night. Next morning I woke up to check my email account but she forgot to log off her account and I thought i was my account. So when I click on email, i notice someone typing dirty and asking her to move in with him. Then thats when I notice it wasnt my account. It was my wife account and was her and another guy exchanging emails. . I read it it all, my heart felt like it stop beating and I got numb all over. The wife who i love so much was having an affair. I trusted her with all my heart and soul. Their emails were full of X rated sex talk to each other. She try telling me it was harmless flirting with a guy she met few months ago on dating website. Then she tells me it was a customer she met at work. She is a cashier for department store. And that they exchange emails addresses and only chat in email only. She is a cashier for department store.I then reply back to that guy asking " who are you ? Why you having affair with my wife?".
This is when i found out the truth. She wouldnt tell me truth so i had to get it from the guy she having affair with. He told me didnt know she was married and that she told him she was SINGLE. He said she doenst wear her wedding ring. He told me they been dating for past 2 years. And that he work with her at the department store. And they been going out for lunch and dinner, and sometimes shopping. He so upset because my wife told him she was single and now wants nothing to do with my wife. And he told me sorry, if i have known, i wouldnt never started dating her. My wife been telling me one lie after another. She tells me they never slept together while they were dating for past 2 years. Should i believe that she never slept with him ? i am so confuse, hurt, numb, and going nuts in my mind. I cant stop thinking about it. Been 2 days now and i still feel strong pains just like when first found out 2 days ago. Someone help me please! How can i deal with my broken heart
I am so sorry you are here. You will go through a lot of different emotions as the shock wears off, but you will get great advice here. Some of the advice will sound rather harsh in that there must be consequences for your wife having betrayed your trust in her. Everything depends on what she does and/or whether she wants the marriage to continue. Having said that, you have more power than you think, and once you accept the truth, it will be time for you to make the big decisions on whether YOU want to continue. Take your time with that decision, however, for your own protection, gather as much evidence as you can, and get checked for STDs.

Did you make copies of those emails? What about her phone? Texts? Does she delete them? Assume everything she tells you is a lie. A watered down version of the truth. Two years and he didn't know she was married? I doubt it. But he is not your problem. She is.
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Old 07-23-2012, 04:38 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I am so sorry you are here. You will go through a lot of different emotions as the shock wears off, but you will get great advice here. Some of the advice will sound rather harsh in that there must be consequences for your wife having betrayed your trust in her. Everything depends on what she does and/or whether she wants the marriage to continue. Having said that, you have more power than you think, and once you accept the truth, it will be time for you to make the big decisions on whether YOU want to continue. Take your time with that decision, however, for your own protection, gather as much evidence as you can, and get checked for STDs.

Did you make copies of those emails? What about her phone? Texts? Does she delete them? Assume everything she tells you is a lie. A watered down version of the truth. Two years and he didn't know she was married? I doubt it. But he is not your problem. She is.
Hi, survivorwife..True i am going through mean emotions right now. I printed the emails out to show wife, she yank them from my hand and tear them up without even reading them. Then i try showing her the replies back from her lover that reply back to my email. She deleted from my email account without reading them. She try her best to delete all the emails from him. And no i dont have any emails anymore becuase she deleted them all. Also if you check at end of my message. I just edited it because i forgot to add, she claim after 2 years of dating him. She only kissed him once on side of cheek.
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Old 07-23-2012, 04:39 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife having an affair with Co Worker

2 years and no sex? BS.

If she's talking about moving in with him, its obvious how deep their relationship has gotten.

Can you forgive 2 years of lies and a fake marriage?
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Old 07-23-2012, 04:41 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I'm so sorry you're here. Did you not think to ask the guy if they had sex? He seems to be upset that she was married. He may give up the details if you asked him. Especially since they work together and it might look bad for him if you told their boss.

Your wife is deep in this thing and you need to do a 180 on her now. She gets nothing but the declaration that you are going to file for divorce unless she totally comes clean, stops all contact with the guy, and gives you access to all of her communication such as email, facebook, cell phone etc. You can put 180 in the search and find how to do it. There are guys on here that have been where you are. They will give you a lot of advice: follow it.

I don't know if your marriage can be saved but I can tell you that doing nothing will ensure that it will not be.

Keep coming back. We have been there and want to help.
Hi Prize,
I didnt ask him because I figured he would lie about it. But the wife quit that job about 8 months and they no longer work together. But he told me they still been going out together. And the wife finally admitted that after her lover told me truth.
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Old 07-23-2012, 04:41 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife having an affair with Co Worker

Nice to see such remorse from your WW (wayward wife).

She sure is making it easier for you to just let her go.

Dude, you need to show her some tough love and never beg for the marriage, get some confidence in letting her go.

Until she starts showing true remorse then do a 180 (distance your self from her and show her the indifference she diserves).
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Old 07-23-2012, 04:42 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife having an affair with Co Worker

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ricky2424 View Post
I EDIT THIS BECAUSE I FORGOT TO ADD. SHE CLAIM WHILE THEY DATING FOR PAST 2 YEARS, SHE ONLY KISSED HIM ONCE ON SIDE OF CHEEK.


I seriously hope you don't believe that. This isn't junior high school. Do not believe a word your WW says. Do not believe a word the OM says. Get the truth yourself.

Immediately put a keylogger on the computer. If you want R with her, then she needs to quit the job now. She can never work with the OM again.

And why did you allow her to get on the computer and delete her emails?
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