So bff, did she tell you how many years she had been doing this?
I'm thinking that the OM is so deeply ingrained into her and is part of her emotional being, she'll never be able to rid him from her mind and spirit even if she can be remorseful.
Given her mother's position, your wife's behavior is clearly condoned by her family.
Your wife has too much baggage for her to fix herself in your lifetime.
It's a good thing you are seriously considering moving on. No kids, just move on.
BFF
You have just set a nuke off in the cheaterville camp. Good job. They are running scared right now and that is how it should be. I hope the OM sh!t his britches when he got your text.
One thing that caught me off guard that I was not prepared for was the number of mutual friends that we both associated with (me and OM) in our gang as we called it that fell into his camp when the sh!t hit the fan.
I eventually had to distance myself from nearly the whole group because they could not see the issue I had with them trying to walk the fence between OM and myself. These people I had been friends with for nearly 25 years.
These double betrayals are a b!tch BFF so stick near the ones you can still trust and take it day by day. When the dust settles you need to look around and you will see who is still standing with you and that will be your true friends.
When my best friend cheated on his wife, and did it in such an evil way, she was carrying their first babies, twins, and he left her for her best friend, I dropped him as a friend and was there for his wife and their boys.
She not only was screwing some guy she just had to go to the new house and do him in their new bed. There's no chance you can get back with somebody like that.
From the sound of it his W and her mother have close relationship, there's no way she'd keep her mom in the dark for so long.
So you got new house, she broke it in with the OM while you were away, then had a dinner with her MIL and you as the only (as they thought) clueless party.
Hold on, gang. Her mother is a wonderful person who is just trying to keep her daughter's world from collapsing around her. She told me that when her daughter told her about the affair this morning, she was devastated and asked how could she do something so stupid. She also said to me that she was always "uncomfortable" with their obvious close relationship and she now really regrets not saying something. She said, "I never could have believed that she would do something like this."
I have to believe this is very hard for her to see her daughter go through, especially because the daughter is so clearly at fault.
I don't hold anything against her trying to say ANYTHING to me to try to get another chance for her daughter. I probably misrepresented the call in my post above. It was a good conversation for me to have, and I have a lot of respect for her trying to help her daughter. I do believe that she wasn't aware of what was going on, but like me, saw the signs all along but didn't act on them.
There's always a lesson to be learned. Always trust your gut and when the signs are there address the situation. Many times it's nothing at all but a lot of times it the difference between stopping a EA before it goes physical and not. Inside of a marriage someone shouldn't have to be explaining to the other spouse that he or she is just a friend. You don't need boundaries set in my opinion for someone to know what's inappropriate.
Now with minus one, I have a GREAT set of friends. Unconditional love and support. I'd be lost at sea without a few people close to me, here. Sadly enough, two of them have first hand experience with this sort of betrayal.
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Re: wife and best friend having (at least) an EA 
